JESUS WOULD DRIVE A ROLLS ROYCE

from JoeUser Forums
The campaign against sport utility vehicles was drummed up by the Looney left. Their absurd slogan was, "What Would Jesus Drive?" My answer to that would be, "why a Rolls Royce of course." Jesus is the Son Of God. Therefore, only the best for the Savior of the World.

The crazies spent thousands of dollars in their attempts to shame people out of Chevy Tahoes and into a Volkswagen bug. Unfortunately, they want the government to make sure you cannot spend your money where you would like, at least when it comes to purchasing automobiles.

Some believe Jesus would never have driven an SUV or any other gas-guzzler so none of us should do so, either. To do otherwise would be sin and they would be responsible for the deaths of millions of people and the outright destruction of the planet. As one who is a confessing Christian, I am angry because this condemns people who are not doing anything wrong. Yet, I am also sad that so many people of good will can be taken in by such propaganda, and that guilt manipulation seems to work.

The crazy liberals not only want people to drive small cars. They also want the United States to engage in near-complete deindustrialization. The liberal fools believe that all poverty in the Third World is caused by the industrial West. They dumbly think that Third World poverty would end if we were to shut down our industrial infrastructure. What complete idiots. According to these morons and many others of their ilk, one can increase one's standard of living only at the expense of others.

They think cars only have bad effects. Cars cause pollution and kill the elderly and the young. Automobiles are responsible for warming the planet, and if the planet becomes warmer, the results can only be disastrous. Tree huggers believe motorized transportation has no positive benefits to society. They believe that anyone who drives a car which they don‘t approve is totally selfish and evil. What idiocy.

What would Jesus drive? Jesus would drive a car fit for a King of course. Also, Jesus would not create any kind of Socialist State. Jesus would allow free markets and Capitalism.
blogging
12,581 views 25 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top

What would Jesus drive? Jesus would drive a car fit for a King of course. Also, Jesus would not create any kind of Socialist State. Jesus would allow free markets and Capitalism


he musta changed a lot since he got famous.  last i heard, he was walking (altho riding a donkey once in a while) and tossing unscrupulous merchants outta the temple.

Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
When Jesus wasn't walking around preaching didn't he ride a donkey ? ..... so whatever the equivalent to a donkey is, 2000 years or so down the line, is what Jesus would use. If he did use a Rolls Royce would he drive it ?..... I'd say he's have a chauffer [at least until he passed his driving test]..... maybe someone could suggest such a person fit to drive Jesus in a Rolls Royce.
CursorFX - Customize your Windows cursor
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Jesus would not create any kind of Socialist State. Jesus would allow free markets and Capitalism
how much did he charge the multitudes for all them loaves and fishes they ate? for that matter, why was he supporting them other 12 guys who walked away from their jobs?
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
'What would Jesus drive? Jesus would drive a car fit for a King of course. Also, Jesus would not create any kind of Socialist State. Jesus would allow free markets and Capitalism.'

Congratulations, Marvin. It must be nice to have a direct line through to the Almighty. So tell us - what model Rolls Royce would Jesus drive? What colour? Hardtop or convertible? And where would he drive to on his holidays?

You remind me of the blurb on the back of Jethro Tull's 'Aqualung':
'And Man created God in his own image ... '
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
how much did he charge the multitudes for all them loaves and fishes they ate? for that matter, why was he supporting them other 12 guys who walked away from their jobs?


The loaves and the fishes was not about Socialism because He saw what needed to be done and did what he could to help. A Socialist sees what needs to be done and turns to the government to take "from each according to his means, to each according to his need". It is not socialism unless the government is deciding who has the means and who has the need.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
I side more with those who say, He rode a donkey, so whatever the modern equivolent...

The popular ideal of Jesus is that He, Joseph and Mary were poor. Well, don't we learn from the Gospels that the Maji (3 wise men) brought Gold, Frankenscence and Myrr? Well, I've read through the four Gospels a few times and I can't find a scripture passage that says anything like, "and Joseph and Mary, being offended by such extravagance, refused the worldly treasures and cast the men from their presence." I also have never run across one that tells us that Jesus took of all His filthy and vain riches and cast them into the ocean, lest men of the world respect him only for his money.

Money and barter were as important to functioning in Jesus' society as it is today. For Him to have moved around as he did, bought passage on boats, etc, would have taken money. I don't know if he would have driven a Rolls, an SUV or a VW bug, but my guess (and it's only a guess) is that he would drive whatever vehicle was within His means.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top

"from each according to his means, to each according to his need".


Matthew 20:1-16


 

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
PARATED2K is the only one who sees that Jesus may have been rich.
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
Jesus would clearly need a minivan to carry all his disciples around in. Sheesh. He'd buy American, too.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top

Jesus may have been rich


there was only one capitalist among the apostles. he hung himself before he hadda chance to spend his profits (or was that prophets? ).

Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
Um, I highly doubt Jesus would drive/ride in anything. Jesus came from simple means, he and his disciples gave up all their worldly possessions and their only focus was to spread the word of God. You really think he would suddenly decide "Why am I living like a popper when I am a Prince"? I don't think so. I'll ask my pastor for his opinion, but I think he would say the same.

Jesus would walk so he could encounter the most people possible on his travels and do the most good. (I'm not a tree hugger, and I want an SUV). Jesus would want and live a simplistic life.
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Whatever he drove, you can bet the insurance would be cheap...
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
Whatever he drove, you can bet the insurance would be cheap...


ya got that right!
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
"from each according to his means, to each according to his need".



Matthew 20:1-16


Actually Matthew 20: 1-16 is the "parable of the laborers", which even taken literally woudn't translate to "from each according to his means, to each according to his need" since niether need nor means was assessed by the landowner. He merely agreed to pay some people a penny for a days' work, then many hours later, seeing that there were guys hanging around unhired, so he told them he'd pay them a penny to come work the rest of the day. Of course, taken figuratively it has nothing to do with need or means at all.

Now, for the record, I have heard that some socialist cite Act 4:34-37 because, while it doesn't say "from each according to his means" verse 35 does say, "and distribution was made unto every man according as he had need" (KJV). Of course, if you'll look it up, you'll see that those who sold off their property and gave it, did so on their own, without compulsion from government (or even the Apostles). It was what they felt they should do.

Anyway, I'm doubting Marvin really meant for this to become a serious scripture discussion. I just felt the need to comment on the passage you cited.

The truth is, the Bible doesn't deal with Jesus' lifestyle, nor his means. It covers his birth (which brough riches to His family), regardless of whatever financial straits they were in before. If the purpose of the Bible were an exhaustive history then maybe it would have been more detailed about stuff like that. However, since it isn't, it doesn't. ;~D

(I'm not a tree hugger).


Considering He was at least a 2nd generation carpenter, I doubt He was a tree hugger either! ;~D
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
Um .. one thing .. isn't Jesus, now that he "died", like God now? Why would God need a car?

IG
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
Um .. one thing .. isn't Jesus, now that he "died", like God now? Why would God need a car?


I think that would depend on the individuals beliefs. God is the father, Jesus sits at his right hand. But I have never seen a ghost driving a car, so I would have to agree with you on that, but I think the basis is if Jesus were alive today, born into modern civilization, that type of thing. Purely hypothetical, and actually quite pointless to debate, its just something to discuss.
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
In that case, Jesuys was a rebel, he'd ride a Harley.

IG
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
In that case, Jesuys was a rebel, he'd ride a Harley.


With the rebel scenario, He's a rebel that doesn't "go with the crowd" (even among rebels) hence, he would drive an Indian! ;~D
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
Kingbee............Would it make Jesus so bad if he owned his own custom furniture business? Maybe he even was successful enough to have hired 6 or 8 people to work at his Capitalistic business. Why do most people assume Jesus to be a dunce?
Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
honestly, Jesus would not drive at all. He would rather walk to be closer to the poeple. In a car going 70 miles an hour just doesn't work when you trying to speak to someone who is just walking by.
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top
poor marvin he wants jesus to make him rich like he made jim bakker and jimmy swaggart and pat robertson rich...when he tells me these men got away from god you can take that to mean that they got caught and he hasn't yet

so send your money to marvin cooley so HE can drive rolls royce JUST LIKE JESUS

lol
Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top
Kingbee............Would it make Jesus so bad if he owned his own custom furniture business? Maybe he even was successful enough to have hired 6 or 8 people to work at his Capitalistic business. Why do most people assume Jesus to be a dunce?


altho it's no longer online, theshockingtruth.com included an article which says more than i could about the possibility you suggest:

"Professor Zevulun Shapira has caused a storm with his comments about Jesus Christ. In a chapter in his new book "Carpentry in Ancient Judea and Galilee" he alleges that Jesus' carpentry skills were dire. "I did some research into businesses in Nazareth and discovered that 'Joseph, son of Jacob, and Sons' was one of the most notorious building contractors in the area", the professor states, "they cost the Roman Empire thousands of shekels with their shoddy workmanship."

Using archaic records and parts of the Bible itself, Professor Shapira has shown that Jesus of Nazareth was one of the worst offenders when it came to getting some carpentry work done. "I've read accounts where people describe his woodwork, most say it was diabolical. Fortunately the Sons of Eliakim were usually on hand to rectify most of the problems Jesus had created."

Professor Shapira points to Biblical references to show that Jesus was unreliable when it came to time keeping. "Take this extract from Luke 12:40 for example, 'the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him', it's a typical example of Jesus being vague about what time he will turn up. He couldn't turn up on time to re-hang a door, so heavens knows how he expects to be punctual on Judgement Day."

here's another excerpt:

"Professor Shapira has also found a written account by a Roman centurion about Jesus' crucifixion. "It is true that the soldier was moved by the event and did think that Jesus was the son of God, but some parts of the account make for interesting reading, especially the taunts by the thieves who were crucified with Jesus. It seems they goaded him with insults such as, 'good job you didn't build these crosses, otherwise we would have broken our necks falling off'."

Professor Shapira points out the background behind these taunts. He alleges that around 20 AD Joseph, son of Jacob, and Sons were given a contract by the Romans to build all of the crosses for the crucifixions in Nazareth. Jesus was responsible for the actual construction of these crosses but the Romans were furious at the poor workmanship. "The things kept falling apart when the victims were lifted upright; horizontal crossbeams would collapse and the low quality nails used kept breaking. The Romans tried their hardest to get Jesus back to rebuild the crosses, but he would always make excuses about how he had to mend fences in Capernaum or something. Typical cowboy builder! Again the Sons of Eliakim were usually called to finish off the job and usually smashed the victims up with big hammers if they couldn't rebuild the crosses."
Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top
Actually, Jesus would not drive some faggot Rolls, nor yet ride a harley (harleys being too cool for anybody but Satan to ride). Jesus would drive a Mercury Cougar V8. If he were stopped for speeding he'd immediately ram a thousand devils up the anus of the State Trooper foolish enough to pull him over. And quite right too.


No, not a cougar. A Saleen Mustang!