Crying Over Battery Cables

Stupid Fucking Minivan

from JoeUser Forums
I'm crying.

I can feel myself making the "sad Gizmo" face.

I have tears in my eyes, tears on my face . . . my bottom lip keeps popping out.

Today I am supposed to clean the battery cables on the car. I had to go all over the base to find club soda to use. Now I have a brush, gloves, club soda, pliers, and a flashlight. I popped open the hood and propped it open with the metal bar.

I was crying even before that.

I am scared to do this, and so I wanted to do it and be proud of myself and make Adrian proud.

But I am sad. As I was driving off to get Club Soda, a neighbor told me that one of my back lights is out. I don't know how to fix that.

I cried on the way to the store, and Xavier asked me, "Momma, what's wrong?" I told him, "Nothing." I don't really know what's wrong.

I just want to be held. I want someone to help me with all these problems that keep coming up. I want to be loved and cherished. I want to not feel so alone.

I don't know why I'm crying so much now.

As I was driving away from the first shoppette I went to while looking for Club Soda, the ABS light came on. I don't know how to fix that, either.

More tears.

I looked inside the hood and I know where the battery is . . . but it's underneath a bunch of other stuff. I don't see any black and red cables. I looked and looked and prodded all around with my flashlight in my hand but I still couldn't find the things that I'm supposed to unattach and clean and then reattach. Stupid fucking minivan.

I'm supposed to be able to do this.
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9,937 views 25 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Aaawwww, huney dont feel bad like that. You dont have to do that to feel proud. You're already achieving so much, heck, just being a mum should be your pride.

You know what? Relax. You're a little stressed out cuz there's alot on your plate at the moment. Take it easy. One thing at the time. It always works. First you dont have to be a mechanic, send the van for full service.

Second, breathe in, breathe out. Third, cuddle your little cuties and fourth, go all together for some ice cream (you wont need the van for that now, would you?).

Oh and befor i forget, why dont you just sell the friggin mini-van and buy something else? Sounds like its giving you a lot of crap.

Anyhoo, you need to have a good cry, so let it all out. You'll feel better pretty soon.

=HUGS=
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
islandgurl: You're so sweet.

You dont have to do that to feel proud. You're already achieving so much, heck, just being a mum should be your pride.


I am proud of being a mom, but this is something I should be able to do . . . Adrian's counting on me to do it, and I'm so upset because I can't seem to manage it.

You know what? Relax. You're a little stressed out cuz there's alot on your plate at the moment. Take it easy. One thing at the time. It always works. First you dont have to be a mechanic, send the van for full service.


I could do that . . . but I promised Adrian I would do this myself.

Third, cuddle your little cuties


Good idea.

go all together for some ice cream (you wont need the van for that now, would you?).


Yeah, gotta have the minivan for ice cream.

Oh and befor i forget, why dont you just sell the friggin mini-van and buy something else? Sounds like its giving you a lot of crap.


We're going to get rid of it and get something else . . . I just gotta manage for two more months with it.

Anyhoo, you need to have a good cry, so let it all out. You'll feel better pretty soon.


Thank you. You're a doll. *hugs* to you too
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hi Tex, how long has hubby been gone? You sound like me at about 4 months. Seems like they have been gone forever and it will still be forever before they get home. You are a capable woman even if you aren't a mechanic. If you can't figure out the van just find a neighbor whose husband isn't deployed and ask him if he could please help you out. There is nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it. I would say that it is absolutely necessary. The military community has to become a family since everyone is away from their own family. You can't ask your dad or brother to come over so ask one of the guys in your neighborhood. I hope tommorow is better - stupid mini van!!!
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
locamama:
Hi Tex, how long has hubby been gone?


It's been about 9 months.

Seems like they have been gone forever and it will still be forever before they get home.


No kidding.

If you can't figure out the van just find a neighbor whose husband isn't deployed and ask him if he could please help you out.


If only my neighbors weren't douchebags.

You can't ask your dad or brother to come over so ask one of the guys in your neighborhood.


Yeah, maybe I can find someone to help . . . but I promised I would do this today.

I hope tommorow is better - stupid mini van!!!


Thank you, sweetie . . . and I am beginning to hate this minivan.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
OK, so my problem is this . . . the battery is not where a normal battery should be . . . it's completely buried like this:



From the firehouse.com website :

The new Chevy Venture, Oldsmobile Silhouette and Pontiac TranSport minivans are examples of vehicles that have batteries that are extremely difficult to access. Although it is under the hood, in each case the minivan’s battery is almost completely buried underneath a heavy-duty metal bracket and many engine components.


And so this means that . . .

I am screwed.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Bad minivan. You should arrange for an 'accident' to remove it from the picture, just make sure not to get yourself or anyone else hurt in the process. And even though you said to Adrian you would do it, maybe the mechanic is what you have to do...
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Danny:
Bad minivan.


Damn straight.

You should arrange for an 'accident' to remove it from the picture, just make sure not to get yourself or anyone else hurt in the process.


It's just my luck that if I tried to make something happen to it, it never would.

And even though you said to Adrian you would do it, maybe the mechanic is what you have to do...


Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I really hope he understands.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Brandie, you have email.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top

As I recall, I had a similar battle with a rearview mirror right before D came home.  I won, btw...


 


I don't think that there's any shame in taking it to a professional to look at it.  You should have an auto hobby shop on base...run it over there and have one of the dudes look at it.  They also have a computer they can hook it up to and will probably be able to figure out why the ABS light is coming on.


I'm more auto-savvy than the average chick - I can change my own oil and do routine maintenance on my own - but even I'd balk at getting the battery out single handed.  It looks like you'd have to take the grille off or dismantle half the engine.....some auto are just freakin' geniuses, aren't they?

Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
That should read 'some auto designers are just freakin' geniuses'........must....have...coffee.......
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
Do you roadside assistance in the US? I hate messing around with cars and stuff cos there always seems to be bits left over from even the most simple repairs I've ever tried (including changing a wheel or the oil - some sort of quantum effect I think). So now I leave it to the professionals. Just drive or push the car down the road a bit and give them a call. With any luck the guy or girl'll fix it all for you for free or it'll be covered by your membership anyway.
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
aw, dearie, this isn't your fault...I didn't consider the fact that the battery might be buried under a ton of other machinery -- I think they do it just so you HAVE to take it in...

I cried of a vehicle once, when I tried to fix my transmission and nothing was like the manual said it should be.

i'm all sad reading this, hon, that sincerely sucks -- you aren't a loser or a dummy tho, you just can't be Mr. GoodWrench at the costume ball this year (I know that disappoints you).

*big hugs* {--------------------------------------------------------------------------------this big------------------------------------------------------------------}
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Ok, I'm just plain stupid--but why are cleaning the battery cables anyway? (That should make you feel better--someone less auto-inclined than you are). I know the very minimum there is to know about my car--like when to take it in to be serviced and who I can trust to service it without ripping me off--I figure I can't be an expert in everything and while it would be great to save money by changing my own oil and whatnot, it's not worth the hassle or the stress.

Chin up, chicken --we can't all be everything, that's why modern society invented Jiffy Lubes and the likes--but if I had to choose, I'd rather be a good mom, like you are, than Mr. Goodwrench anyday!
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
Trade it in for a thirty year old car--they're easy to fix.
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top

Trade it in for a thirty year old car--they're easy to fix.


He's absolutely right, ya know...older vehicles are way easier to fix than newer ones.  If you can find the parts, that is.  I had a late 70's Mini once that was pretty simple.  The only pain in the ass was that you had to take the grille off to get to the distributor cap, but that was about it.


Let us know how it goes, Tex.

Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
Trade it in for a thirty year old car--they're easy to fix.


That's the truth!

TW,
Unless your having problems with the electical stuff in the van or having problems starting it there should be no reason to clean the cables. And if starting is the problem it's most likely the solonoid on the starter not the cables.

I agree with Dharma take the thing to the Auto Hobby shop on base and have one of the nice guys there help you.
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
hi ya tex......... If your reduced to tears about these things you mentioned, there is a much deeper hurt your not looking at.... and the tears are "leaking"

wish I could help more, but see if what i said is reasonable ok?
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
Makes me feel good that there's at least ONE thing I can do in my sleep that causes others such distress...
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
I so can't imagine what it must be like for you TW....I was lucky enough so that when my first husband was stationed away for a year, I lived with my parents or his parents and they took care of these things for me.

Then, with my current husband being in the Guards, when he went away for his two week stint, that's when everything would break. Once he had a December training, the water heater broke while I was showering and had shampoo in my hair. Let me tell you that the water in Minnesota gets very cold in December....

Another time, I thought I would be the WOMAN and mow the entire lawn by myself...we have a three acre lawn. I can't use the big tractor, just cause I can't. Too big and complicated and lots of sharp moving parts, so I set out to do it on the little rider. I got it done. Took me four hours three days in a row, but I did it. Course, I ran over and chopped up a PVC cap on our drain field. Had to cover that with a coffee can until the hubby came home.

When we were concerned about his deploying for a whole year, he made a list called "Things I Do that She Has No Idea About" and holy crap, the things on that list boggled my mind. I had no idea that he thumped the pipe on the wood furnace downstairs every now and then because it loosens up over the winter. Lots of crap like that. And that's big crap, cause if that pipe came off the entire house would fill with smoke.

Isn't it amazing the things you don't know you don't know?
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top

Isn't it amazing the things you don't know you don't know?


Yes it is!  And you're right about things breaking when they (they being the menfolk) are away.  One winter our pipes froze up and D was in the middle east (again)...so my dad got a call from a very distraught me wanting to know how I was supposed to thaw them.  Then another time the car died on the interstate and I had to leave it and hitchhike for help, then there was the accident where I totalled the Jeep, then the toilet clogged up because someone flushed half a roll of paper and I had water running down the walls at midnight, then there was the time the furnace shorted and blew all the fuses, then the neighbors called in and said I was beating my kids and I got visits from law enforcement at 2am 3 nights in a row......yeah, it's just great all the shit that goes wrong when they're gone. 


I'm having D make me a 'what to do it if ______ happens' for this upcoming deployment.  That sounds like a very good idea.

Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
cacto:
Do you roadside assistance in the US?


I do have roadside assistance, but I think I will just take it in to Firestone.

I hate messing around with cars and stuff cos there always seems to be bits left over from even the most simple repairs I've ever tried (including changing a wheel or the oil - some sort of quantum effect I think).


Wow. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who doesn't "get" cars.

So now I leave it to the professionals. Just drive or push the car down the road a bit and give them a call.


Yeah, I'm going to make an appt to have it all taken care of . . . I can't handle all of this myself. The minivan hopefully will start and I can drive it.

Myrrander:
aw, dearie, this isn't your fault...I didn't consider the fact that the battery might be buried under a ton of other machinery -- I think they do it just so you HAVE to take it in...


Thank you for saying that. I was also a bit worried that you would be disappointed in me, too . . .

I cried of a vehicle once, when I tried to fix my transmission and nothing was like the manual said it should be.


That would make me cry, too.

i'm all sad reading this, hon, that sincerely sucks -- you aren't a loser or a dummy tho, you just can't be Mr. GoodWrench at the costume ball this year (I know that disappoints you).


Thank you for making me smile. I would have liked to be Mr. Goodwrench at the costume ball.

*big hugs* {--------------------------------------------------------------------------------this big------------------------------------------------------------------}


I will take that hug. Thanks.

steven:
Trade it in for a thirty year old car--they're easy to fix


I'm sure you're right.

dharma:
Let us know how it goes, Tex.


I definitely will.

TasT:
Unless your having problems with the electical stuff in the van or having problems starting it there should be no reason to clean the cables. And if starting is the problem it's most likely the solonoid on the starter not the cables.


I'm having problems starting it . . .

I agree with Dharma take the thing to the Auto Hobby shop on base and have one of the nice guys there help you.


I'll look into that.

moderateman:
hi ya tex......... If your reduced to tears about these things you mentioned, there is a much deeper hurt your not looking at.... and the tears are "leaking"


I'm sure you're right.

wish I could help more, but see if what i said is reasonable ok?


It is.

shovel:
Makes me feel good that there's at least ONE thing I can do in my sleep that causes others such distress...




xtine:
I so can't imagine what it must be like for you TW....I was lucky enough so that when my first husband was stationed away for a year, I lived with my parents or his parents and they took care of these things for me.


I feel like a failure . . . I feel like I should be able to do these things . . . and I am really hurting because I am not getting any support or encouragement or praise for all that I'm doing. This is so hard.

Let me tell you that the water in Minnesota gets very cold in December....


I can imagine . . .

Took me four hours three days in a row, but I did it.


That's determination. I'm sure you felt really great when you'd finished it.

Isn't it amazing the things you don't know you don't know?


Yes. Absolutely.
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm having D make me a 'what to do it if ______ happens' for this upcoming deployment.


Tex & Dharma, just post 'em here, there's bound to be somebody to help ya out
Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top
shovel:
Tex & Dharma, just post 'em here, there's bound to be somebody to help ya out


That's a really good idea . . . and there have been times in the past when a JU has been able to really help me with some problem I was having . . . BlueDev and an ear infection is the first instance that comes to mind . . . and Myrrander was soooo helpful with the battery cable thing.
Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top

Makes me feel good that there's at least ONE thing I can do in my sleep that causes others such distress...


if that one thing is cleanin battery cable clamps, im positive i dont wanna hear any more about it


actually i dont think anyone can get to that battery easily even wide awake.

Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top
Kingbee:
actually i dont think anyone can get to that battery easily even wide awake.


He he he . . . I forgot to mention all the help you gave me. You rock.