Top Ten Lies
Is telling the truth subversive?
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
Our lives are all so reliant on fantasy and fallacies we don’t even realise it. Just think about all the things we say but don’t really mean everyday. We say things to prevent hurting the feelings of those close to us. We say things to provide an excuse to get out of an undesirable job, task or chore. We sometimes say things just because we don’t feel like addressing the truth of a matter. Virtually no one is innocent of this.
Following is my subjective top ten list of lies commonly used and the translations in italics. There are many permutations of the following, but I’ve taken the liberty of using what I believe are the most common.
1. This will just take a second – I’m not too sure how long this is going to take but if you’re prepared to sit there, I’m prepared to make you wait.
2. Your haircut really suits you – I think you look ridiculous with a faux-hawk, Gucci-mullet, perm or flick.
3. No, you don’t look fat/skinny in those jeans or skirt – You look ridiculous in anything but Mom-jeans or bib and braces.
4. Go ahead, I don’t mind – Yes, I do mind and if you take me for my word, I will sit here and glare at you until you leave.
5. The doctor is about 10 minutes behind his appointment schedule – The doctor is about an hour behind his appointment schedule.
6. Your car will be ready in the next couple of days – Your car won’t be ready for at least another week.
7. That colour really suits you – That colour makes your skin look jaundiced.
8. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be alright – I’m feeling depressed and suicidal and I really don’t think I can cope.
9. I’m fine – I’m feeling anything but fine
10. The cheque is in the mail – I am going to delay this until you threaten legal action then I will pay you, but not before.
As I said, very few of us are completely innocent when it comes to these kinds of fallacies. These lies have become so ingrained, most of us probably don’t even realise what we’re saying is not the truth. Some will argue that these are hardly lies, or if they are, they’re white lies. I say it doesn’t matter what you colour you paint a pig, if it looks, sounds and smells like a pig, then it must be a pig.
Whether our lies are small or great, the consequence of this is really the same – we are only letting ourselves down. The more this happens, the larger the lies that we allow to slip by become. Sure, it is a lot harder to tell the truth in some cases, given the over-sensitive nature of a lot of people. but I believe if we start with the small lies, maybe things will naturally straighten out. If the example is set with the mundane then it should also be easy to maintain. Then we can move on to the big lies.
Following is my subjective top ten list of lies commonly used and the translations in italics. There are many permutations of the following, but I’ve taken the liberty of using what I believe are the most common.
1. This will just take a second – I’m not too sure how long this is going to take but if you’re prepared to sit there, I’m prepared to make you wait.
2. Your haircut really suits you – I think you look ridiculous with a faux-hawk, Gucci-mullet, perm or flick.
3. No, you don’t look fat/skinny in those jeans or skirt – You look ridiculous in anything but Mom-jeans or bib and braces.
4. Go ahead, I don’t mind – Yes, I do mind and if you take me for my word, I will sit here and glare at you until you leave.
5. The doctor is about 10 minutes behind his appointment schedule – The doctor is about an hour behind his appointment schedule.
6. Your car will be ready in the next couple of days – Your car won’t be ready for at least another week.
7. That colour really suits you – That colour makes your skin look jaundiced.
8. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be alright – I’m feeling depressed and suicidal and I really don’t think I can cope.
9. I’m fine – I’m feeling anything but fine
10. The cheque is in the mail – I am going to delay this until you threaten legal action then I will pay you, but not before.
As I said, very few of us are completely innocent when it comes to these kinds of fallacies. These lies have become so ingrained, most of us probably don’t even realise what we’re saying is not the truth. Some will argue that these are hardly lies, or if they are, they’re white lies. I say it doesn’t matter what you colour you paint a pig, if it looks, sounds and smells like a pig, then it must be a pig.
Whether our lies are small or great, the consequence of this is really the same – we are only letting ourselves down. The more this happens, the larger the lies that we allow to slip by become. Sure, it is a lot harder to tell the truth in some cases, given the over-sensitive nature of a lot of people. but I believe if we start with the small lies, maybe things will naturally straighten out. If the example is set with the mundane then it should also be easy to maintain. Then we can move on to the big lies.
- I knew I'd forgotten one
