Dispelling the Myth

When does Santa die?

from JoeUser Forums
Call me crazy, but I am ignorant on all things Santa.

As I have mentioned in past blogs, Christmas and other such mainstream holidays were nonexistent in my childhood. In my adult married life, Zombie has helped me adapt to traditional celebrations through thoughtful reasoning. We enjoy Christmas, Easter, birthdays, and even Halloween. The process has been slow and at times painful (Halloween occurred at our house for the first time this year...still a little uncomfortable...but costumes and candy nonetheless).

The Santa Claus hurdle is one I have yet to conquer. I know all the excuses; "It's just a game," "the story is harmless." I am not convinced yet. So, all things relating to the jolly fat man in the red suit remain the exclusive domain of my husband. He is our resident expert. I refer all inquiries by our children regarding St. Nick to Zombie.

Recently, my children have been mulling over more metaphysical questions about the benevolent North Pole resident. Will Santa ever die? If not, why did he grow old? How come we cannot call Santa on the phone, but you can? If we have a fire in the fireplace, will Santa get burned? With a challenging eye, I smugly turn to Zombie. He always raises my challenge with some brilliant off the cuff answer. He is quick like that.

And so, now I face my own questions. Ones that jar me awake from my dreams of Sugar Plum Fairies and Rat Kings.

At what point did you learn the myth of Santa? Were you devastated? Did you think your parents liars? Did you feel betrayed? Who revealed the truth? Do you wish you had never been fooled?

My fellow JUs, I seek your wisdom.
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9,267 views 17 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
I don't think I was ever told. My favourite christmas movie in the world is Yes Virginia there Is a Santa Claus. (with Charles Bronson) He (santa) kinda just stopped coming when I got too old. One year I got lots of presents the next year my sister got lots and I got one (from santa) I got lots from my parents. The next we didn't put our stockings out - I was 15 my sister was 10. But my dad hung one of his socks on our doorknobs and it was filled with lollies and jam and a yoyo and we had HEAPS of presents from our parents wrapped under the tree.
I think that was my favourite year - dad with the sock was just a really big surprise because we knew santa would be coming because we were too old.

This year I get to be santa to my husband and our one year old. I don't feel like my parents lied to me I feel like they just wanted to allow us to believe in magic in a world so full of chaos and saddness.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think that was my favourite year - dad with the sock was just a really big surprise


That is neat...what a grand idea!

I don't feel like my parents lied to me I feel like they just wanted to allow us to believe in magic in a world so full of chaos and saddness.


That is what Zombie says.

Thank you for sharing your experience, trina.

My mother-in-law still gives gifts from Santa even to her adult children. She has one rule..."You have to believe in Santa in order to get a present from Santa."
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

I can't remember being told or not told that he was real....and I can't recall being told he wasn't real.  I think it was just a thing that happened over the years....I knew that there was no possible way he could get presents to everyone everywhere in the space of one night.

I do recall going outside with my parents one christmas eve right when i was about 6 and being shown a single, shining star in the sky....they said it was the star of bethlehem, and I believed them.

Nowadays. ....we give gifts to our kids, and when they were small we used to leave milk and cookies out for santa.  That's changed now, and he gets a mince pie (british thing) and a finger of single malt irish. A couple of years, D and i went outside after they had gone to bed and threw rocks on the roof to imitate reindeer hooves alighting on the shingles.  He does a pretty good baritone "ho ho ho....meeeerrrrrryyy christmas"...!!

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
At what point did you learn the myth of Santa? I'd say somewhere around ten I started suspecting Santa was a myth. Were you devastated? Mildy upset that I was lied to, but not devastated. Did you think your parents liars? Yes, I think my parents are liars. To this day they still insist santa is real, as I watch them put the presents from him under the tree. And five minutes later they debate the religious implications of there not being a santa. Did you feel betrayed? Less betrayed, more how can I trust these hypocritical people. Who revealed the truth? I found out myself, it's kind of hard to believe people when they say someone put presents under the tree when you watch them do it. Do you wish you had never been fooled? Yes, I think that lying to your kids is a bad thing, and I while it wasn't the defining point, this lie has contributed to my dislike and distrust of my parents.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top

over the past 8 or so months, several of our ju brethren and sisthren have clearly implied my preferred presidential candidate proved i'm still a firm believer in santa.

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
dharma
Nowadays. ....we give gifts to our kids, and when they were small we used to leave milk and cookies out for santa. That's changed now, and he gets a mince pie (british thing) and a finger of single malt irish. A couple of years, D and i went outside after they had gone to bed and threw rocks on the roof to imitate reindeer hooves alighting on the shingles. He does a pretty good baritone "ho ho ho....meeeerrrrrryyy christmas"...!!


That is cute and funny! When did or will you tell your children there isn't one though?

Danny
At what point did you learn the myth of Santa? I'd say somewhere around ten I started suspecting Santa was a myth. Were you devastated? Mildy upset that I was lied to, but not devastated. Did you think your parents liars? Yes, I think my parents are liars. To this day they still insist santa is real, as I watch them put the presents from him under the tree. And five minutes later they debate the religious implications of there not being a santa. Did you feel betrayed? Less betrayed, more how can I trust these hypocritical people. Who revealed the truth? I found out myself, it's kind of hard to believe people when they say someone put presents under the tree when you watch them do it. Do you wish you had never been fooled? Yes, I think that lying to your kids is a bad thing, and I while it wasn't the defining point, this lie has contributed to my dislike and distrust of my parents


Ok, now I am depressed, worried, and scared.........

kingbee
my preferred presidential candidate proved i'm still a firm believer in santa.


I am almost inclined to agree.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
I still believe in Santa!

I didn't have a problem with my parents "lying" to me about Santa. I came to understand what Santa really is gradually. When I was young, someone suggested to me that Santa wasn't real, but a spirit. Hmmm, that explained a lot. How he made it everywhere on Christmas Eve, how he got into houses that didn't have chimneys, and so on. As I got older, I came to understand the true nature of this spirit. The real "spirit" of Santa is the spirit of love of parents for their children (no matter what Madison Ave would have you believe). And in that, I hope that I never stop believing.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
I didn't have a problem with my parents "lying" to me about Santa. I came to understand what Santa really is gradually. When I was young, someone suggested to me that Santa wasn't real, but a spirit. Hmmm, that explained a lot. How he made it everywhere on Christmas Eve, how he got into houses that didn't have chimneys, and so on. As I got older, I came to understand the true nature of this spirit. The real "spirit" of Santa is the spirit of love of parents for their children (no matter what Madison Ave would have you believe). And in that, I hope that I never stop believing.


Oh, I like that Genghis. Thank you. Right now my husband explains Santa as "magic." I like spirit so much better. Glad to know you didn't feel betrayed or lied to by your parents.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Don't be scared because of what I said, I think my situation was far from normal. And the santa issue was one of many reasons I don't like my parents, it was far from the deciding one. I'm sure your kids will be fine either way, your a good mother.
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
your a good mother.


You are so sweet. That, coupled with a good wife, are my life goals.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
Well you'll have to ask zombie about the other one
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
I remember it vividly. I begged my parents to tell me; they didn't want to. I was six and I had heard rumors. They kept asking me, "Are you sure you really want to know?" We were in the car. I did beg them to tell me, even though the longer I begged, the more I dreaded hearing the truth about Santa. Was I devastated? Oh yes! I bawled for what seemed like hours. They consoled me with Raisinettes.

Did I feel betrayed, or angry that my parents had lied to me? No, I understood it was something for the little kids. After I knew the truth, they made it seem like a special, grown-up priviledge. I was in on the secret. I got to stay up late and help wrap my little brother's presents - from Santa. We had cookies and milk, always being careful to leave crumbs on the plate for my brother to find in the morning, so that he'd know Santa had been there.

Do I wish I had never been fooled? NO, I think Santa's good! I still believe in Santa, even though I know the so-called truth.
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thank you, Hamster. You made me feel a little better. I am glad to know that even after the fact you appreciated Santa and would want your parents to do it all over again.

I know I am in for this end to Santa, soon. All the warning signs are there. Plus, the twins are 6 and my oldest is 8. Right now they just view kids who do not believe in the same way as kids who do not worship or belief in God. They think it is sad and different, but doesn't change their conviction.
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top

I guess I was about 5.  I was always an inquisitive child and just figured it out for myself.  I was not disappointed and in fact since I knew, I was allowed to 'help' Santa!  That was fun!

A friend of mine liked to dress up as santa and pay a visit to his 2 children.  When they were about 12 and 13, I told him they knew it was really him, but he kept insisting that they did not!  Well, his son confided in him that year that they had known for a few years it was really 'dad'.  That crushed him!

Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
I was seven or eight. We were walking through the toy isle at the store (my mom and I) and she happened to see something Santa had brought me a few months earlier and she exclaimed "Wow, that was a lot more expensive when I bought it!". I didn't say anything, just tucked that away and took it as confirmation of something I had already suspected. I wasn't devastated, I think I understood the reason behind it all. I didn't say anything to my mom for a while, but when I did, she was the devastated one. I felt bad for her, and she felt terrible about the slip. But I had tons of fun playing along with the Santa game for my younger siblings. That was almost more fun for me. I enjoyed it then, and still do to this day.
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
I still remember the magic it gave when I was five - waking up and going straight to my assigned Christmas stocking to see what I got. I don't ever remember thinking how "bad" my parents were for lying about Santa and just took to the brotherly chore of being "Santa' to my own younger cousins and sisters when the time was ripe for me. There was this one time I even had to work out a story to my 5 -yr old daughter who got severly sick just before Christmas. The story called"Santa and the Blood" (I can't recall in detail how I worked that one out), but it sort of explained what was happening with her - how she caught the infection and how with Santa's help (sshhh....and antibiotics), her blood could get cleansed. Well, anyways, she felt much better with the story. To this day, I still don't know if she believed the story, or if she was just so amused to see her Daddy able to dish out such crap.
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
Dr. Guy
A friend of mine liked to dress up as santa and pay a visit to his 2 children. When they were about 12 and 13, I told him they knew it was really him, but he kept insisting that they did not! Well, his son confided in him that year that they had known for a few years it was really 'dad'. That crushed him!


Yikes, sounds like I should be more concerned about my husband's disappointment.

BlueDev
didn't say anything to my mom for a while, but when I did, she was the devastated one.


Yep, it is official. I need to worry about Zombie.

scatter
I don't ever remember thinking how "bad" my parents were for lying about Santa


Good to know!

The story called"Santa and the Blood" (I can't recall in detail how I worked that one out), but it sort of explained what was happening with her - how she caught the infection and how with Santa's help (sshhh....and antibiotics), her blood could get cleansed. Well, anyways, she felt much better with the story. To this day, I still don't know if she believed the story, or if she was just so amused to see her Daddy able to dish out such crap.


I loved this story. It reminded me so much of stories my husband tells to our children. I am always "amushed to see their Daddy able to dish out such crap," but they always buy into it and love it.

These ancedotes have been awesome! I love hearing about everyone's experiences and memories. I guess I am living vicariously as I have no such memories. Thank you.