Day One of the Quit

Today is the first full day of quitting smoking. Again. This is the worst part. The first couple of days. Feeling distracted, irritable, unable to concentrate. And god i sure would like a smoke. 11 months i quit last time. November 19th, 2002 through October 2003. Prior to that was a six month hiatus. Fail fail fail. And everytime i start smoking again i forget the pain of quitting. Jesus H. christ. I hate not being able to outsmart my own brain. Addiction is such an annoying disgusting debilitating excuse for nothing. God i can barely see straight because i just can't focus. Junked out. Looking to dose up iwth the Zyban again. Mixing in a bit of flax seed oil, B12, Vitamin E and aspirin. Plus some caffeine for good measure. And i just couldn't stay off the damn stuff. This isn't much of an article, but more of a starting point for me to track my damage control of the mind. Beating back the desire. Acck. I am back at the point where i don't even think i can succeed. Monday, work, the cigarettes will be sitting in the office. Two days from now. Nothing left to spout here. Sorry to disappoint.