I didn't know I could hate anyone
I never thought it would be you
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
Dear You,
It's been so long since you entered my mind, but you did today and I realised that time has not healed all wounds. It's time to get my feelings out and now that I am finally doing it, where do I start? How do I possibly describe how you made me feel, what you put me through, the vast range of emotions I felt because of you and what you did. I nearly lost my balance, I came so close to falling you'll never know. I'm still not fully over it, but I am over you now I just despise you. I hate you so much I didn't know it was possible. How could you be so heartless, so cowardly. You just turned and ran leaving me to choose and walk alone.
I will never forgive you, maybe one day years from now I'll be able to forget you, but not yet. I can't believe you were the cause of so much pain and confusion. What makes me hate you even more is also the fact that you helped make me stronger, for I had to become a little cold, a little distant, not let others in as deep, all because of you. I don't regret meeting you, nor do I regret the time we had together, but I regret that I didn't see through your lies about who you were. You were never honest when that's all I tried to be, I wear my heart on my sleave and I guess the consequence of that is it can get ripped off and torn in two. As you know only too well.
You made me question who I was, I hate you for that. You made me feel like giving up, and I nearly did, but I made another choice, a choice to get up and move on, this choice was different though as I made it 100% for me. I did what you asked, I told no-one...then. It didn't take long for me to question why though, why the fuck should I keep quiet for you. So I chose to tell, to tell of what you did, tell of the coward you really are. You have so much growing up to do, you're a little boy playing with emotions he doesn't understand. Why should I be ashamed of a choice I made with my life a choice you left me with alone.
I know where you are, you see, you came back without saying a word. You snuck in quietly and picked up your pieces without giving a thought to anyone else. But don't worry, so did I. What would you do if I turned up one day and said 'thankyou for showing me what bastards men can really be", I think I know, you'd deny everything then run and hide. I'll never do it of course as in the end there would be no point, I've forgiven myself, but will bever forgive you. I wonder if you ever think about me....? No I'm sure you don't, but I'm also sure one day you will, and I hope on that day you understand the hate and confusion you caused.
I now know what real love is supposed to be, acceptance and understanding, passion and touch, truth and silence, laughter and comfort, nothing I ever had with you. You will never know me, you will never have the love and support I now give to someone else. They make me happy, they have me like you never did, never will. They know me, love me, touch me, hear me, they have all of me and I have all of them in return. I am complete ,I am standing tall and most of all I am still here, fighting and moving on. I will never not hate you, I can't forgive you and why should I, but I realise I have something better...a life without you.
Goodbye"
It's been so long since you entered my mind, but you did today and I realised that time has not healed all wounds. It's time to get my feelings out and now that I am finally doing it, where do I start? How do I possibly describe how you made me feel, what you put me through, the vast range of emotions I felt because of you and what you did. I nearly lost my balance, I came so close to falling you'll never know. I'm still not fully over it, but I am over you now I just despise you. I hate you so much I didn't know it was possible. How could you be so heartless, so cowardly. You just turned and ran leaving me to choose and walk alone.
I will never forgive you, maybe one day years from now I'll be able to forget you, but not yet. I can't believe you were the cause of so much pain and confusion. What makes me hate you even more is also the fact that you helped make me stronger, for I had to become a little cold, a little distant, not let others in as deep, all because of you. I don't regret meeting you, nor do I regret the time we had together, but I regret that I didn't see through your lies about who you were. You were never honest when that's all I tried to be, I wear my heart on my sleave and I guess the consequence of that is it can get ripped off and torn in two. As you know only too well.
You made me question who I was, I hate you for that. You made me feel like giving up, and I nearly did, but I made another choice, a choice to get up and move on, this choice was different though as I made it 100% for me. I did what you asked, I told no-one...then. It didn't take long for me to question why though, why the fuck should I keep quiet for you. So I chose to tell, to tell of what you did, tell of the coward you really are. You have so much growing up to do, you're a little boy playing with emotions he doesn't understand. Why should I be ashamed of a choice I made with my life a choice you left me with alone.
I know where you are, you see, you came back without saying a word. You snuck in quietly and picked up your pieces without giving a thought to anyone else. But don't worry, so did I. What would you do if I turned up one day and said 'thankyou for showing me what bastards men can really be", I think I know, you'd deny everything then run and hide. I'll never do it of course as in the end there would be no point, I've forgiven myself, but will bever forgive you. I wonder if you ever think about me....? No I'm sure you don't, but I'm also sure one day you will, and I hope on that day you understand the hate and confusion you caused.
I now know what real love is supposed to be, acceptance and understanding, passion and touch, truth and silence, laughter and comfort, nothing I ever had with you. You will never know me, you will never have the love and support I now give to someone else. They make me happy, they have me like you never did, never will. They know me, love me, touch me, hear me, they have all of me and I have all of them in return. I am complete ,I am standing tall and most of all I am still here, fighting and moving on. I will never not hate you, I can't forgive you and why should I, but I realise I have something better...a life without you.
Goodbye"
