my dad's pearl necklace?
i heard your daddy was sexless
& wore one with a matching miniskirt/
in his lexus
at a rest stop in texas
flaggin down truckers with your mother & brothers & other lovers/
while philo watched & videotaped, lips chafed
from the friction
little boys stashed in his kitchen/
this is non-fiction
philo you're finished, your aura's diminished
as my core is replenished/
suspeckted? suspect dead
with red dirt shoveled on you
what's the matter phil? mama didn't want you?/
wack rhymes come back to haunt you?
you got none, i got two
heads, one to taunt you

where are all the comments ?. maybe i'm the only one silly enough to admit my awe ? (sounds like me).

this is amazing stuff, i feel like i'm there or something. you guys are playing off each other so well, congrats on introducing me to a new genre, i'm thoroughly impressesed and entertained.

mig XXX

I only videotape things that I think will be worth watching
Like Suspeck ejaculating on reddirty's face, its catching
All of it and it looks like he's done this once before
Or maybe twice or maybe nonstop since year 1984
Its some disgusting shit
Ron Jeremy would want to end his life
If he ever saw how the Suspeckted one made reddirty his wife
Talk about matches made in Heaven
Y'all put your personals in Hell
As long as y'all just fuck each other ain't nobody gonna tell you
You should stop cuz its like Bigfoot tried to get it on with Alf
Everyone's fine with it as long as you agree to keep us out
Of it
And Suspeck's bowling trophy better have some bumpers on it
Like his anal sex award's got reddirty's ass thumper on it

Mig, you are not the only one in awe....this is awesome stuff!!!

Just wanna take some time out to thank Mig and Anonymous and any other people who are entertained by my antics, and the antics of my "opponents." As much as I write to combat them, I also write to entertain anyone who might stumble in and read this, and hopefully my enemies as well. Thanks again.

while i was out findin' some real men
who don't have to pretend
cause they hanging a full ten
even before we rockin the den
you lovers broke into teams
phil is fulfilling his dreams
filmin' suspeck and dirty's screams
while rats face gleams
and suspeck gets real mean
doin' it like mr clean
dirty's his mop machine
sucking him obscene

and philo ain't saying it like it falls
i saw him sucking rats balls
while he was ducking dirty's calls
cause he got tired of fucking dolls
that never got as hot as he
watching suspeck rock dirty
imitatin' beast sex from tv
you way off philomedy
they bigfoot and babmi
using dada's anal jewlery
to reach the peak of pleasurie
with dirty on his knees

so, you took your hands off the kids
long enough to write a rhyme,
my, my, Dr.Phil, how do you find the time?/
who the fuck designed your mind?
when your not bitin' pillows, yer bitin' yer lines
suckin off business men/
just isn't what they mean by corporate crime,
& lizard, your borderline swine, celluite rollin' out/
from underneath your sunday times
your forty kids from different daddies screamin'
"bitch!!! close the blinds!/
& whether you're sayin "bambi" or "alf",
it's sounds like "rrrrmmmff" with my dick in your mouth
i'm like a brick in your house/
try to break me and the roof'll collapse
on every last one of your raps
on every last one of your snaps/
and i'm hear to bring every last one of your gasps
but soon death becomes you,
the grim repear numbs you/
Hey, Phil, how's it feel to know
That you'll never come to
after what I say jumps you
I sunk you...

My what a cast of characters this battle has begot
First there's Lizard, living proof that women simply should not talk
And then reddirty, so perverted, jacking off into his sock
But at least he shows respect, he calls me Doctor, now that's hot
And you all can try to budge me
But you will not make me move
I move when I feel like moving
Only if I feel the groove
And incidentally my groove left LeapingLizard in a coma
My dick's bigger than a mother fucking four wheel drive Sonoma

And reddirty writes his rhymes and really thinks his shit is tight
He makes a mockery of this every time he picks up a mic
So put it down
It's toxic
Man, you don't know how to handle it
Some bomb squad mother fuckers wouldn't know how to dismantle it
Bitch I'm radioactive
My effect is felt for miles
I've murdered DJs from the Andes to the Micronesian Isles
I've got a base down in Barbados and an army in Peru
And y'all too scared because when I say "Jump!" my army says "At who?"
So watch out Lizard and reddirty cuz my army comes for you
And after killing you we'll finish off Osama's punk ass too

I'm the original globetrotter
I can hit the three or post
I can punk you out like Shady or do a Dean Martin roast
So y'all can step up to the dais
and pretend to be some slaya's
But Philomedy's the playa
Who will never go away and
This is all a mother fucking low down red and dirty shame
How Lizard fucked reddirty and Suspeck for her one last shot at fame
Don't she know Philomedy's running this whole damn game?

I don't know how to rap like you
so i will just play my didgeredoo



Of course, that aint me, it's just some bitch
i was just using pictures to lay down the sitch.

Clapping at Muggaz!!!

And incidentally my groove left LeapingLizard in a comaMy dick's bigger than a mother fucking four wheel drive Sonoma

NICE!

Of course, that aint me, it's just some bitchi was just using pictures to lay down the sitch.

Muggaz, that was dope!

it's sounds like "rrrrmmmff" with my dick in your mouth i'm like a brick in your house/

Ha ha...and so forth

---

I know you've missed me, so sorry I've been gone,
I've been so busy writing this damn song,
about philo and dirty smokin' each others poles like a bong,
and with their dicks in each others' mouths they can only hum along,
now I don't give a fuck if you think I'm right or wrong,

but dirty I need to extract your head from your ass, someone hand me the tongs,

did dirty just go and dis his own lady,
comin' off talkin' shit to the girl he rides daily,
Lizard, I might even kick his ass if you pay me,
every punch will cost you around a buck 80,

so by the time, if you did the right math,
you'll owe me over a million bucks in bloody knuckle cash,
and I'll jump back onto Franklin and it's now a closed case,
and you can thank me later for repainting your living room with your boyfriend's face,
and I hope you like red cause that's the new color,
philo are you still awake? Brush your teeth and get in bed, and no jackin' off on the covers

If I told you once I've told you a million times,
ain't no use in tryin' to beat the suspeckt with rhymes,
so I'll take y'all out to eat unless it's asking to much,
don't bother lookin' at the menu, cause all you fairies are gettin' tossed salad for lunch!

WHAT!

phil, it's not an army
if the weapons are slinkies and Snack Packs,
sittin' in a fort playin' jacks/
& hopscotch, you are not hot
& no, you're not a doc
it's just you sound like dr.phil
while i beam like dr.spock/
& yes, I jacked off in a sock
at your mama'a request,
i aim to please so i
dumped it out on her chest/
i have some news phil,
we should go on maury, i'm your dad
that's the story, little lad
go to your room, you're a fad/
i'm a classic
while suspeck's flailing like a spastic
takin' a shit on phil's face wrapped in plastic/
& yeah, me & my girl like to clown & write rhymes
But we're fine
Keep your envy away from me & mine/
I draw a line in the sand's of time
only the fools will cross me
i'm like fine wine to carlo rossi/
philo and 'speck outta form a posse
call it the spice girls
& lip sync your freestyles
at sea world

& yes, I jacked off in a sockat your mama'a request,i aim to please so idumped it out on her chest/

Awesome...alright lets begin:

reddirty cannot be my dad
I know cuz I'm still breathing
If I was his seed I'd kill myself with nothing to believe in
And it was you that called me Doctor, you can't just go back on your word
What are you, a flip-flopper? Wait, that's a right wing kinda verb
So let me use another phrase
And enter in another phase
Man have you ever seen a rat smell cheese and make it through a maze?
See I think you could do the same, with a slight modification
Just replace the cheese with Suspeck jackin' off
The smooth vibrations
Probably reach you through the ground and tell you where you need to go
The bat signal is calling Robin for a last minute bat blow
But isn't it degrading, reddirty hit a new bat low
And when he tries to catch Philomedy his ass is too bat slow

Now I am angry
I'm annoyed
The only man among the boys
I'm tired of your bitching and I'm tired of the noise
I'm surgical
The Doctor
With a practice up in Aspen
And I'll rip out all your larynxes and leave all of you gaspin'
For air
Which I won't share
Because its mine its a monopoly
I own the food and water too
Bitches you will be what you ought to be
Or else I'll kill you
I don't need you
You need me to live
You massochistic mother fuckers are about to get a shiv
The size of Everest in your side
And I will stand and watch you die
Cuz that's the shit Philomedy does when he wants to feel alive
But that goes only for Suspeckted
Cuz I cannot tell a lie
He's the only MC on here on a level close to mine
The rest of you are hatchlings, you ain't even learned to fly
So right now the Suspeck is the only one that has to die
I grant the others a reprieve
And only one time can or will I
But don't take charity for granted, I ain't really had my fill I
Murdered Suspeck but that doesn't mean I'm done looking for victims
If the rest of you are smart you'll sign up to be my new hitmen

Just wanna take some time out to thank Mig

you are so welcome, philomedy. as i said, this genre is new to me, and you guys are rocking my little socks off ! hehe. great stuff, keep it up.

Mig, you are not the only one in awe....this is awesome stuff!!!

nobodyimportant, isn't it though ?. love it. love it !

mig XX

ps: alphonse, the other thing (the play) is wonderful, you multi-talented groover, you !. now i just have to wait for macky. *sigh*. and wait ... and wait ...

can't you see I've got a job to do?
you tool, screw you,
I hit the nail right on the head,
I thought I had worthy opponents, somehow I've been misled,
go battle rap with your little sister instead,
I'm a rarity, like atkin's dieters eating bread,
I'm a parody, and I'm too sexy like Right Said Fred,

I've got nothing in my wallet, cause I already paid my fair share,
is that your dick or whatever you call it, girls are trying so hard not to stare,

I know we're all a bit queer, so it's time I set the record straight,
I won't drink your Michelob Ultra beer, and my simplest thought your little mind can't contemplate...let me demonstrate,

Late at night if you listen close you can hear me,
they say I'm mad sick and they just can't cure me,
shit, I am the Big Bang Theory,
E = MC squared...Me = another MC stripped bare,
and now you're running through the forest,
to the laugher of friends and foes as your background chorus,

Suspeckted got a theme song and it goes as such,
a simple melody in the key of DeeeeeeeeeeeZ Nutz!,
come a little closer girls...look but don't touch,

cause I'll never sit on no clearance aisle rack,
every time you get loose I've got to pick up the slack,
this shit is wack,

so here's the nightcap,
take a few hours to count your flaws,
sucker MCs get the Clapp,
Suspeckted gets the applause!

Here comes the headless horseman
Y'all are off course and of course when you step
You're misled like Bush's sportsmen/
I shatter your grey matter like porcelin
You wanna quit but you've been forced in
Crabs in a bucket all scratchin your foreskins/
While I go the full monty
Y'all are uptight like Condi, hearts of glass
Broken like Blondie/
Go 'head, live your illusions,
Big deal, but get done by the 'dirt
Like Bush did the constitution/
I abu grab your mic and leave mc's in destitution
Fuck a coup, this is revolution,
Alchemy and evolution/
Retribution, Phil, I don't know what yer accusin'
Me of, But here's a latex glove,
Enjoy the shove/
Check your barmeter, here I go
From here to Andromeda
I'm all up in your shit like a rectal thermometer/
A comet a..being from from a place you can't trace
My dimension holds yer weight in suspension
In inner space

*fainting from the thrills of reading all this* amazing! great! I could go on and on....

I'm a rarity, like atkin's dieters eating bread, I'm a parody, and I'm too sexy like Right Said Fred,

Check your barmeter, here I go From here to Andromeda I'm all up in your shit like a rectal thermometer/ A comet a..being from from a place you can't trace My dimension holds yer weight in suspension In inner space

Fantastic from both of you. I might have to start trying harder.

Yeah, you're boy's back
Strapped strong with the gat
That I shot the rat with
How do you like that bitch
You gotta backtrack bitch
I gotta scratch that itch
So here we go
Time for a new episode
Now everybody likes to tell Philomedy he's wrong
But every time I read y'all shit its like I'm reading my own song
When I introduce a concept all you do is spit it back
It's like I wore a shirt, returned it, and they put it on the rack
And then Suspeckted picked up, and reddirty after him
As if wearing it's the only Goddamn way that they could win
Now let me give you an example, go and read my early rhymes
I'm the one that introduced pop culture to this place and time
I spit out Arnold Scharzenegger, Eminem, bin laden
Then Suspeckted pulls out Right Said Fred like something he'd forgotten
And reddirty comes here saying Condi, Blondie, and then Bush
Find your own niche, bitch
Pop culture's mine
Man, y'all like Rainbow Push
Like Jesse Jackson coming in my face and telling me I'm wrong
And at the same time he be dancing to my latest fucking song
So fuck my generosity, the recruitment drive is over
I'm coming for you posers, better find a four leaf clover
Cuz the second that I find you y'all ain't getting any older
Y'all bodies getting colder
Y'all can't cry on this cold shoulder

A four leaf clover, shit, I got them by the dozens,
I got luck by the truckloads, no need to be so stubborn?
Do I recall you were dissin' dirty for being a flip-flopper,
what are you, some rich ass Rodeo Drive shopper,
some ignorant fascist,
a lexus driving, soccer mom, classist?
the fact is,
I guess is...I got respect for y'all for keepin' up this far,
and while I may be 15 under, and you're still shootin' for par,
I now know that y'all can hold your own and spar,
so sound the alarm, and let this shit get wild hot,
let shit flow over the sides of the pot,
let's shoot up this street and outline all these suckas in chalk,
all the ladies will flock,
and all the dudes for lizard,
with all these funky fresh rhymes comin' outta my gizzard,
I'm makin' dizzert, so wet that appetite,
and all JUs futures lookin' bright.


"with all these funky fresh rhymes comin' outta my gizzard," - Yeah I stole that from Young MC.

When I introduce a concept all you do is spit it backIt's like I wore a shirt, returned it, and they put it on the rack

very strong. anyways..here it goes...

Yer the first with pop culture?
Have you heard of das efx?
I'm swoopin' down like a vulture
Wearin' X-ray specs/
& My next day's checks
Are sure to grow exponentially
MC of the century
It's with respect that you mention me/
Potentially, we could get along and
Drop the battle shit
Take over the battle ship
& Maybe just battle little whip/
Just kiddin
I'm not trying to hate on fellow bloggers
I'm just driftin' back to high school days
Stoned by the lockers/
I know that y'll have been there
In one way or another
Bangin table tops
Skippin class, creepin undercover/
& With each day life
Got a little more complex
From kids to bomb threats like 'nam vets
It's a long debt

I'm out guys...I can't handle being the only lady with all you flocking after me. Kidding. You witnessed my first two rhymes ever. Thanks for the play!
LL

I'm out guys...I can't handle being the only lady with all you flocking after me. Kidding. You witnessed my first two rhymes ever. Thanks for the play! LL

Though I would like to continue this a bit I do realize that it may be growing stale for those beyond the die-hards. I was thinking of suggesting a theme based rhyme thread, or a thread where whoever has the most recent post gets to suggest a few words that the next person must use. Anyway, I don't need to host it on my blog if someone else is lookin' to whore for some points. Any takers?

If it involves rhyming, you know I'm in.

So go ahead measure your worth with your dick,
but you'll always be just a richard cause you ain't got no trick,
no nothing to make any girl say oh honey,
c'mon on boy be my bunny,
im tired of all that i hear,
"my dick is this big..." boy, open up your ear,
i'm straight and i could care less what size hits your knee when you walk,
I'm tired of hearing your ego scream and squawk,
soundin' like an ostrage coming out of the sand,
just want a boy who will hold my hand,

you all brag about how many bitches have been in your bed,
well when you call them up I'd advise them to go see the doc instead,
cause you're creeping,
with illnesses that send the girls home weeping,
back to their own place all alone,
because hanging with big egos is company I don't condone,
go ahead lay awake at night,
wonderin' why you don't have breath on your back,
and come see me in the mornin for the answer,
which is your fuckin whack.

Peace to the rhymin' feminist,
who took the demons out like an exorcist,
now on my guest list,
she ain't no Express wearin' priss,
she's a head of the class so sit the fuck down until you're dismissed,
but now I got my own agenda I need get across,
so make way if you will, I got skills that need to be flossed.



what the fuck,
are y'all on time out,
what the hell happened to my rhymin' bout,
I got the urge throw my hands up and shout,
but don't think for a second you'll get to see me dance,
I'm that thug in the back of the room noddin' his head with folded hands,
and arms,
keep your hands of my lucky charms,
not that I need any of this luck,
but if we leave it all to chance eventually we all get trumped,
bumped...right off the dance floor by some size 49 waist,
with an odor so strong, that it's not the smell it's the taste,
give chase,
but you'll never ketchup, mustard, or relish in any thought,
of me using this world like a kleenex filling it with my boogers and snot,
I got a lot...of issues,
and I'm more than filling to share,
so stare in my direction,
and don't you dare avert your eyes,
I can see you're getting all your info from your punk ass snitches and spies,
I hate bush,
but I'm American as apple pie,
and until the day I die,
I won't let anyone rest in peace,
please lord bless the way I get release,
you know my steez,
but you just don't get it,
I give and give all day on these pages but I always forget to take the credit,
I'm recycling my rhymes, and chokin' on my own rage,
I'm coughing up bulls on parade,
making love to lady marmalade,
and snappin' pictures of her at Abu-Grabe,
I've stayed the same,
ever since I was different,
and I got all kinds of game,
ever since the first time my fist was lifted.