Unsatisfied with myself.

from JoeUser Forums

I'm on a quest.  A self improvement quest.  I don't like the way I am right now.

I'm going to gain some weight.

No, I'm not nuts.  I'm honestly concerned that I'm too thin.  People I don't know from Adam have started to refer to me as 'skinny'. 

I don't like it.

My husband and I were having a conversation last night about Renee Zelwegger.  I showed him a picture of her 'bulked up' for her role as Bridget Jones (like being a size 10 is really 'bulked up'!) and another of her at the Paris premiere of the new movie.  She was wearing a red strapless dress, and her clavicle, scapula and ribs were clearly visible.  I said that I thought she looked much better a bit bigger.....and my husband, bless his little heart said "well, to be honest babe, you do too.  I dunno if you've looked at yourself lately, but you don't look much different than her in that dress. You really could stand to gain a few pounds"

I was speechless.  I know I'm little, but I'm a size 5 or 6....not that little.  Skinny to me is a size 2 or 3 (been there, hated it)....not where I'm at right now.

It made me take a good hard look at myself.  He was right. I've lost breast mass...I've gone down to a B cup from my lifelong large C small D.  You can see the wings of my pelvis when I wear low rise pants.  You can see my ribs, even when my arms are down by my sides.  I used to have curves, I mean a proper hourglass shape...but that's gone. 

I don't like the way I look anymore. I don't know if I ever did like the way I look at this weight.  I like having breasts, cleavage and hips.  I like being 'all tits and ass'. Being skinny, while en vogue, really isn't all that.

So, my goal is to gain 10 lbs.  Healthily.  Not to binge on holiday junk, but to eat balanced, nutritious meals and gain slowly and surely.  Not to 'bulk up'; rather to 'fill out'.

No, I'm not nuts, crazy, insane, or any of the above.

I'm just unsatisfied with myself, and I'm going to do something about it.

misc
7,001 views 18 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
So Dave gets less bruises when he hugs you? I only wish I could see my ribs again!
But too thin isn't good either. I thought holidays were when you eat best.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top

So Dave gets less bruises when he hugs you?

Yep.  And so I get less bruises too.  I get them all the time, because I don't have enough fat to suffer myself.  I feel the cold more too.

I eat, I just don't eat regularly.  One meal a day is my norm...and that has to change.

The holidays.....I eat, but it's mostly junk like candy and chips and snack foods.  By the time the 'real' food comes around I'm too full of the junk I snacked on to want much of it!

Offworld Trading Company
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Threee real meals and healthy snacks, yeah, that's the ticket.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Good for you, dharma.......................now if I could just get myself eating right so I can lose weight.......................maybe there's someway I can just send you the ten pounds?
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
I relate! I lost a lot of weight since leaving home, especially last year. I'm naturally pretty thin anyway (I'm 5'4'' and 1/2 and average about 100-112 lbs)but I get accused of being anorexic quite frequently, so I've been trying to gain weight myself. It's hard because i don't really have a whole lotta money, and I tend to stop eating if I'm depressed anyway, but I'm trying.

I know what you mean about feeling the cold more too- I'm always freezing, I'll sit there and shiver, like "is it cold in here?", and my friends'll laugh at me and go-"No it's just you!!". Meanies

Good luck Dharma!

Dyl xx
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Good for you And since you said you wanted to do it healthily I guess making (and then eating) mistakes at work is out?
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

.......................maybe there's someway I can just send you the ten pounds?

That'd be cool...

I lost a lot of weight since leaving home, especially last year.

I lost all mine after D went off to Greenland and I almost died.  I got down to 104...my doc wanted me to start drinking Ensure because he said I was malnourished.  Now I'm back up to 120-ish, but I'd be happier at 130 or 135.  Eating, especially when I don't feel like it, is hard for me.  I have problems finding stuff that whets my appetite, and when I do I get full quick.  I take breaks during meals...people think I'm done, but I'm not, I'm just giving myself a chance to digest what I've just consumed so I'll have room for the rest. 

Narcotics also kill your appetite...

Danny....Nope!  I intend to eat the mistakes I make....just this morning I was sampling the new bulk candy we got in.  Oreo mint clusters....oooohhh yeah....!

 

Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
It's nice to hear from a woman who doesn't want to waste away and doesn't crave to see bones poking through her skin (no offense to all the chicks who are just made that way). I'm with LadyCleve . . . I got about 10 lbs I'd be happy without . . . I'll mail 'em to ya if you'll take 'em.

Sounds like a good goal, especially since you aren't eating well now and your plan calls for taking better care of yourself.

Good luck growing your ass and hips and titties, girl!
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top

I'm with LadyCleve . . . I got about 10 lbs I'd be happy without . . . I'll mail 'em to ya if you'll take 'em.

Send 'em on over......!!

I'm done being scrawny and I miss my boobs.  The butt part I could live without, but I want my cleavage back, dammit!

Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
Go for it Dharma, too many toothpicks out there. If you can see your ribs you're too thin. Women should look like women and not 14 year old boys. You said before that you were curvy when you were younger, I read that somewhere. Skinny isn't "en vogue" anymore, I think the heroin chic ran its course. Fit is fine, but 2% body fat is unhealthy. Your body begins to eat itself to survive.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top

Your body begins to eat itself to survive

That's why I lost all the weight before.  I had the accident, needed more calories for my body to repair the damage and was in too much pain and too ill to eat...so my body cannibalized itself and I got thin.  Not a good way to do it.  Women need a certain percentage of body fat in order to maintain estrogen and progesterone levels...that's why anorexic and malnourished chicks don't have periods regularly, if at all.

Yes, I was curvy when I was younger.  Very much so! At the time I considered myself fat, but looking back I'm thinking that I wasn't.  I just had a horrible self-image and didn't like myself very much as a person.

Thank you all for this outpouring of support.  I never expected it, I really didn't......but it is very much appreciated.

Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
You could join some fitness program, get some dietrician to advice you on what to eat and all that. And I'm sure you'll be able to obtain your objective the healthy way in no time.
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hey Dharma...
Well maybe you can help me do this as well... Ive decided that Im going to start going to the gym as well, seeing Im working the arvos more now so I have time in the mornings rather than sit at home on the net and do nothing Im going to start to do some more. And I think improving bosy image is a good self helper.
So As your going in your new adventure , maybe you can give me some hints and help along the way !
Cheers xo (Im in sydney at the moment spent some time with lloyd, but some clear revelations have come about as well about me) xox
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
awesome, should be easy, working in a bakery........of course, you could try lifting........be massive, be huuuge......ya...........
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top

Im in sydney at the moment spent some time with lloyd, but some clear revelations have come about as well about me) xox

Huh???  Whad'ya mean?!  Hurry back so you can tell me!!!!! I have news too.....

Raven - I'm going to try doing it solo...if that doesn't work I'll go see a nutritionist.

SNS: I wish I could.  Unfortunately, my back injury prohibits it. 

 

Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
Huh??? Whad'ya mean?! Hurry back so you can tell me!!!!! I have news too


Ive just written a blog.. but there is more to it than that..check it out.. but ill talk more about it with you when I get back. x
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
Huzzah for boobies! Curvey women are so rare these days. The last really great looking woman I saw was this jazz singer at a show I went to. Like a mountain road; nothing but curves and mounds.
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
I like being 'all tits and ass'


Wow, what a coincidence! I like women who are "all tits and ass" too!