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Threesomes and moresomes

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Threesomes and moresomes

another thing i just don't get...

from JoeUser Forums

I overheard a conversation about swinging today.  Not swinging like playground swinging, but swinging as in having sex with mutiple partners at the same time.

Now I'm no prude, but swinging and having sex with someone else and my husband disgusts me. 

I can't get my head around the mindset....the women I overheard talking today mentioned that there was a lot of 'emotional love' involved.  How?  If you love someone enough to want to spend the rest of you life with them, how can you stand to see them having sex (of any kind) with someone else? How can you yourself stand to have anyone else touch you in a sexual way with your spouse in the same room; in the same bed even? 

To me, swinging is basically cheating on your spouse, but with their permission and full knowledge.  It goes against everything my marriage (and a lot of other marriages) stand for.  It's physical infidelity, and I promised I wouldn't do it when I got married.  Not only is it infidelity, I personally think that it shows a lack of self-respect. 

Just one more thing to add to the long, ever growing list of 'stuff i just don't understand'.......

6,892 views 47 replies
Reply #26 from JoeUser Forums Top
i never said homosexuality was "bad"....i have plenty of gay friends.


I never said you said it was bad. Some others say it's morally wrong, and I've heard people criticize them for that, yet what you're saying is that it's all right to call sexual behaviors with which you disagree morally wrong?

people are people...


Just like people who have multiple mates.
Reply #27 from JoeUser Forums Top
and that is not for me.....
Star Control: Origins
Reply #28 from JoeUser Forums Top
Just like homosexuality is not for many. What I'm trying to clarify is that there's nothing wrong with them saying that homosexuality is morally wrong just as you would say threesomes and moresomes are morally wrong?
Reply #29 from JoeUser Forums Top
if marriage is a bond between two people than wouldn't it go against your morals if that is what you believe?
Reply #30 from JoeUser Forums Top
K, Messy Buu......let it go, please.  You want to argue your point, write an article about it and do it there.
Reply #31 from JoeUser Forums Top
I understand your point. It's wrong to call homosexuality morally wrong but it's all right to call other sexual behaviors morally wrong. I like how people pretend to be open-minded by picking and choosing what's right and wrong just like the closed-minded.
Reply #32 from JoeUser Forums Top
I can speak from experience as I am the 'husband' mentioned in Magenta's post. I love my wife very much and know she loves me at least as much as I her. We have known each other for many years and are very close. She is my best friend. We are both mature, honest and good people who can distinguish between love and sex. My wife and I make love. My best friend and I, well, we have occasionally invited someone we know well to have some physical fun with us. We don't take photos, we don't film it and we don't talk to anyone else about it (except in fairly anonymous forums such as these). As Magenta said, we understand and respect that its not for everybody. But it certainly isn't immoral or against our wedding vows...
Reply #33 from JoeUser Forums Top

But would you really be able to handle a threesome?


fmf? so far, so good      mfm? hmmmm with some ground rules.  mmm?  not innarested.  


 I honestly think that most men, while they talk big about wanting one, would 1) not know what to do if it ever happened, or 2) suddenly go off the whole idea when it becomes real and tangible


agrees with my observations.  ive known (and witnessed) a buncha guys who damn near physically pushed their partners into group events only to discover the women enjoyed it much more than either expected...usually with unpleasant repercussions.  another realm in which gender stereotypes prove themselves flawed.

Reply #34 from JoeUser Forums Top

I love my wife very much and know she loves me at least as much as I her. We have known each other for many years and are very close. She is my best friend.


jealousy and possessiveness are incorrectly seen as manifesting love.   realizing that not everyone can understand that or live it, what he's saying sounds right to me.

Reply #35 from JoeUser Forums Top
jealousy and possessiveness are incorrectly seen as manifesting love.


That may be so, and maybe it's a character flaw in me, but I would not be OK with my husband having sex with another woman. And by not OK, I mean I would do her physical harm and then I would throw up.
Reply #36 from JoeUser Forums Top
TW - me too But if you guys enjoy be my guests! i'm not tryin to stop anyone to do what they want. I guess i'm too early in my judgements
Reply #37 from JoeUser Forums Top

maybe it's a character flaw in me


i certainly didnt mean to suggest it was a flaw, much less that youre flawed mzw.   (im sure as hell not kinky enuff to get into that vomitsex stuff )


and ya know it wouldnt have to be another chick

Reply #38 from JoeUser Forums Top
i certainly didnt mean to suggest it was a flaw, much less that youre flawed mzw.


He he he . . . that's OK . . . I know I'm flawed.

im sure as hell not kinky enuff to get into that vomitsex stuff


@ vomitsex

and ya know it wouldnt have to be another chick


This makes me laugh thinking about it . . . I'm pretty sure my husband wouldn't go for that! He might vomit-n-punch, too!
Reply #39 from JoeUser Forums Top
ahhhh yall are compatible!   
Reply #40 from JoeUser Forums Top
Kingbee, when I was young and inexperienced, I did an absolutely dreadful thing out of 'love' (read jealousy). It nearly ruined a wonderful relationship I was in at the time and turned some friends against me. While I try not to have any regrets, this one cuts very close. It took me a long time to let go of jealousy etc., but I believe I'm a better person for it.
Reply #41 from JoeUser Forums Top
ahhhh yall are compatible!


Yes, it's beautiful . . . I'm jealousy and he's rage . . . we blend together so perfectly!
Reply #42 from JoeUser Forums Top

It took me a long time to let go of jealousy etc., but I believe I'm a better person for it.


makes sense to me.  i know what youre saying and i'm sure it's a benefit for you both.  

Reply #43 from JoeUser Forums Top

Yes, it's beautiful . . . I'm jealousy and he's rage . . . we blend together so perfectly!


aaaaaaaaahahahahah  yall will wind up becoming the new mauna loa!

Reply #44 from JoeUser Forums Top
i'm sure it's a benefit for you both


You bet it is! The greatest thing is the level of trust and honesty we have. I have never experienced anything like it.

Pardon my ignorance but could you explain 'mauna loa' to me?
Reply #45 from JoeUser Forums Top

could you explain 'mauna loa' to me


mauna loa is the very active volcano on the island of hawaii.  it means 'large mountain' (as i recall) and it really is a big mountain.


i was jokingly making a flawed allusion to the hawaiian legend of its creation as the result of a jealous rage on the part of the goddess pele.

Reply #46 from JoeUser Forums Top
My wife and I have a bisexual neighbor who wants it from both of us. She keeps slugging away, trying to find ways work it around and get us to go along.
She'll never get it, of course, but I have to admit, from a purely egotistical standpoint, that I find it a bit flattering. Also, flirting with her and leading her on is like our own little in-joke, just my wife and me. Now, if I were single, I'd be on it like white on rice; 2-girl-1-guy threesomes are every man's fantasy, but I'm happily married, so it's a no-no. It's that simple.
Reply #47 from JoeUser Forums Top

My ex had a hissy-shit fit of jealousy and rage, accusing me of all kinda whoredom....and behaved so obnoxiously he got us kicked out of the club.

Do as I say, not as I do, huh?  He sounds like he was a real nice fella, your ex.....

I was talking to D about it.  When I got to the part about the 'emotion' in the room he just snorted out a laugh and said 'that's almost comical, it's so absurd'. 

I just don't get how you can separate emotion from sexual attraction.  I've tried in the past...trust me, my life would have been a lot easier if I could have done it....but I simply can't.  I've tried to analyze what I feel, and whilst I can do that I can't tear emotion and attraction apart. 

I'm not sure that it's entirely due to jealously either...for me, jealousy is a very different feeling than emotional pain, and it's not jealousy that I feel when I imagine myself and my spouse in that situation.  It's pain, closely followed by what I think is anger, but I'm not sure.  All I know is that it's a powerful enough force to make me want to hurt someone...and I do mean hurt.  I dunno how much hurt, but it would more more than a couple of slaps and a kick, that's for sure.