unless it's halloween

and sporting boogeys

for more volume

during frenzied sneezes

after cheap redwine

with Mickey Finns

spiked with Viagra

real highball glasses

and paper umbrellas

if accidentally swallowed

no refund sorry

if you choke

on an umbrella

while it's opened

the little sticks

splinter easily lodging

horizontally in the

oropharynx resulting in

turning blue and

needing Heimlich manoeuvre

and neck massage

for stabbing pain

in the tonsils

but then a

giraffe came along