How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Where's the pack of pickled peppers Peter Pipper picked

Do you think that he may have mixed them with his pot for quicker buzz times?

Peter Potter picked his pot and partied politely

If a chicken and 1/2 lays an egg and 1/2 in a hour and 1/2,how long does it take a centipede with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?

And speaking of chickens, did you know that a wet bird never flies at night? But wouldn't a chicken and 1/2 if it could talk the other half into going too?

Would it take me 1/2 an hour as the crow flies to get there

Orright, who's up for 1/2 a chicken and chips with salad on the side?

I'll share my 1/2 duck with my better 1/2 if 1/2 past 8 isn't to late

Half past 8 is too late for duck, but it might be fine enough for chocolate, don't you think so?

If it's chocolate fondue, 1/4 to 7 would be heaven,yes

was that cake a heavenly food?

Would it have to be Angel food cake?

Won't food do?

How about Chinese or Italian

Chicken and 1/2 Carbonara?

How about 3/4's of a chicken with honey mustard and rice?

The chicken with mustard and rice is good, but you don't have to call me honey do you Cap'n Starkers?

Ooops!  Sorry 'bout that, Ed, do you think our secret's out now?

Are you talking about Victoria's Secret

Do you know what Victoria's secret is?

Isn't that when she lost her principals?

But you say she lost her principals, what was she doing with those guys anyway?

And should moms bring their boys back in the house

aaahhhh but will the boys want to be back in their moms house?