Suicide solution I
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
Last night I stay up late into night tossing and turning. And as usual I thought to pop a bottle a sleeping pills. I thought about suicide in daily basis and I did write lotsa notes when I get so weird but honestly I ain't got guts to do that. I am a fucking pussy coward even I can't do what I like.
I was very sad yesterday night because I have changed my hair style without my desire the evening. I didn't want it to cut it very short but yesterday evening my two best friends, Bona and Bunta, came to my home with some fucking plane that I believe my mom already told them to do something to cut my two years old long black hair. They took me to the parlor pretending that we were going to some heel-up - actually there was a small heel up… Razest was also there… in the way they told me some fucking story about keeping chanj and all those fuck that I was completely fainted for a while like a fucking crazy and decided to cut it short . In one hour I found myself with diz fucking look…..if Kwality , a very good friend of mine, was there yesterday I won't be so frustrated today …he understands me mental state beside he is kinda like minded frined…. Now with diz short hair I look like Ozzy in his crazy train video… saw diz look some days back in my dream that night i realised that smething wierd stuff gonna happen in my near future ...
Some daze back my other friends , Boy, Kennedy , Gopi and all those mother fucker came the morning for the same issue but their endeavors had failed ..i fuck them off from my crib…
I have lotsa best friend. I m glade for that but …why they can't allow me to live in my own world …the people around me specially those who love me need to understand me fully most prominently my mental state . I won't commit suicide for some trifling matter besides I ain't got guts but I am waiting for a reasonable chance perhaps all your love and care for me could drag me soon to that chance. …I hope my friend would read my diary to understand their loving crazy friend .