Teaching our children

My parents passed on many, many things, but the ones that stand out the most are probably 1. Faith in God; 2. Work ethic; 3. Strength of Character.
My kids are still small. My oldest (4) was helping me install kitchen cabinets not long ago. He is becoming proficient with a screwdriver. I gave it to him because he wanted to "help", but I was amazed at how much he actually accomplished! And, if nothing else, I helped him understand that work is fun and rewarding.
Sometimes I think we don't give children enough credit that they actually know what's going on; that they can actually understand and comprehend things. God help us to train them right! The young eyes are always watching us, and they will pattern their lives after what they see!
Great post, Philly!

when i was about 6, i finally plucked up the courage to ask my father where the music in the car radio came from.....he pointed to the arial on the bonnet and said, 'see that little round thing on the top?'

i nodded

'well,' he continued 'there is a little man that sits inside that plays records..'

....i was in awe, i sat there for hours, jaw dropped staring at the arial and thinking about the tiny man playing records for us...... to this day i still think there is a little man inside the arial.....

will i tell my daughter?......um no, she isnt as guilable or as naiive as me, and besides, i know she will give me that look like ive lost the plot....AGAIN......

I also learned how to grow things from my father. I still grow fruits and vegetables to supplement our pantry.

My father also taught me to hunt and fish; even learned to trap from my grandfather.

Hopefully I can pass as much as possible on to my son.

My wife and I worry about this everyday. Our school system doesn't even teach kids how to address an envelope! With the dependency on electronics, kids are losing basic skills. What will life be like 20 years from now? How are our kids going to cope if something happens where there are no more electronics. And that's just one side of it.

Some parents don't have the time or desire to teach their kids. They leave it to the schools and the babysitters. I had and have a problem with someone else raising my children. We both used to work, kids at school or daycare all day. I noticed that they were starved for our attention and were acting out. Long story short, my wife quit her job upon the birth of our fourth child and now spends the day with the little ones who aren't in school yet. We decided if we want to raise properly developed people, we have to do it ourselves.

My Dad and Grandpa taught me valuable skills. Raising crops, fixing things, building things etc. I've never forgot those things. My Dad taught me how to build a lean-to when I was 7 and I can still do it. These skills are being passed on to my kids now along with all the other things I've learned.

WE have to step up and raise OUR children and do it properly. If you don't know how, ask for help but don't just expect someone else to do it for you and then wonder why they didn't turn out. Spend time with your kids and teach them something you learned...they won't forget it. The mind of a child is wonderful and complex and starving for knowledge. FILL IT!

That is something that it seems to many people these days have forgotten about. Most of the guys that work for me are in their late teens to mid twenties and I deal with the consequences of it everyday. Everyone wants a full paycheck without having to put in the time for it and doing a half-assed job of it at that.




Annoyed the hell out of me about 3 or so years ago when I found out from one of my nephews, who are all much younger than my kids, that they had started teaching them in the first couple years of school that it is okay to just sound things out and spell them the way they sound.

What the hell is the point of that? So they learn it all wrong and then it's twice as hard to teach them the right way over the following years?

It's a hard balance sometimes about what we really need to teach our kids.  My wife and I disagree on telling analog time.  We have one analog clock and 20-something digital.  Why bother, ya know?

My goal is to lead by example.  When something breaks, we try to at least figure out why it broke and maybe we'll try to fix it.  If it's broken, we can't make it worse, can we?  

We've been known to pick up broken stuff on the stree on garbage day to take it apart.  Why not?

There's a "movement" that I'm trying to jump on to (but my wife isn't sold yet) called "Free Range Kids".  It's mostly about not being scared to let our kids do what we did; go out and figure things out without adults around. 

We need to push our kids to want to learn and fail and succeed.  How else will they become leaders?

Some days I worry so much about our future.  I look at NASA and all the safety crap they have to do and remember as a kid part of the excitement of wanting to be an astronaut was the danger of it.  Why would a kid want to be an astronaut today?  -sigh-

Fora good laugh . . Zoomba's JoueUser post on this topic : http://zoomba.joeuser.com/article/314556/My_Generation_We_Cant_Fix_Sht

That's exactly what I'm talking about. A simple thing like turning off the water main...and they all had no clue.

Philly, we're of the same decade and I'am second generation american also.  So things were passed down both good and bad.  Got the work ethics from my grandpa and dad, the how to fix from them and their prejudices.  So I'am trying to pass on only the good things and not the negitive or bad things.  people are suprised that she says excuse me mam or sir and thank you.  They can't believe a 5 year old says things like that.  But I'am trying.  For the most part, the youth from about 30 and down don't have the ethics we were raised with.  Its me..me..me..now...now...now.  Not says everyone but the majority.  What a shame.

When Shelby was born I received "train up a child in the way they should go and they will never depart from it" (and this was at her birth and I had no idea at that time that I would be raising her).  Have tried my best to follow this and so far it has paid off.  I have had numerous people when out in public remark about her good behavior and politeness and what a good job we were doing.  Yes, it has been time consuming and a demanding task, but with the noticeable results it makes you feel like it has all been worthwhile.  What greater investment can there be than to lay down your self desires (which will really not matter in the long run) and spend your energy on one that will benefit and make a difference, perhaps where you have not been able to.  It has also been a joy to see her enjoying nature and wanting to plant flowers and food.  She gets so excited when she sees the results and what they have produced.  She has even started eating what she would not before.  I have found so much joy in watching her grow that words cannot describe it.  She starts school this year and I am concerned about the external influences, but I hope that she has learned enough to help her through it and that right and wrong has been instilled.  One thing I do know and am comforted by is that she is not afraid to come to me and talk about things that concern her, and I hope that will never change.  So, in summary, I believe that what you teach your children and pass down to them, in addition to spending quality time with them, does and will make a definite difference. 

Hey folks thanks for the replies. At first I thought this was going to just one of my many unreplied to posts.  

Just in case people care, I don't have children, but I still see it as part of my responsability to pass on the knowledge.   

Ditto for my youngest. Never been in day care ... just my opinion, but I think he's better for it.

Every generation has it's own guidelines/rules etc. that they pass down, each in it's own way. For parents it's their duty to make sense of what they've learned and pass down their interpretation of those things to the next generation (kids). we started with only symbales and cave paintings, now we have the internet. Big jump!!  

Progress can be both a blessing and a curse. Great ideas/inventions/advances are great to see conceived and created. But even though I'm sure there are many things still to come, it sometimes seems that things have become so easily accessible and attainable that it has helped to create more laziness rather than competition/creativity.

gullible ...JAFOCHECK

Aerial ....JAFOCHECK

I guess they taught me to spell...;)

I address them as 'sir'....it's only polite...;)

They don't learn you nothing... 

I agree. This is a crying shame. Why bring them into the world if they are not going to be cared for; not just in physical or emotional needs, but also with training.


Amen to that! My wife and I have spoken at length about this topic. We are about to have our third. Our oldest starts school in the fall. She quit working before our oldest was born. I am convinced that this is one of the very best decisions we have ever made for our family and for our kids. My 4 year old can count to 100 and read simple sentences--yes, I think he's bright, but more importantly he has an awesome mother who teaches him so he'll be ready once school begins.


When out in public, people are generally amazed that my kids obey without our having to yell, threaten, or worse. We simply look at them and not our heads or tell them "no". And they listen (most of the time ). They say "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" and "thank you". Then I observe the other kids at the grocery store. They yell. They cry. They whine. And their fat mama is yelling at them to shut up. What's wrong with this picture?

Well, be assured that I've taught my 18 illegitimate children (with seven more on the way from my time in Spain) everything they need to know.

Mainly, that their daddy doesn't love them.

----

Okay, now a true story that's unrelated to the OP but related to my comment.

Before moving to Spain I worked at a bank as a teller and as the official translator for the whole bank. When I wasn't filling in on the teller line, I was over at my desk in the corner, working on translating documents, helping Spanish-speaking customers both in the building and on the phone, etc.

But since my desk looked so bare, I went to the local dollar store and bought about ten frames - you know, the cheap ones that have tacky pictures already in them to give you an idea of what they'll look like. I made sure they each had pictures of little kids in them, and arranged them on my back desk (I had two - one in front with my computer and stuff, and the one in back for storage). Customers would come in and come talk to me at my desk (I'd worked there for some time, and had developed a good relationship with the majority of our regular customers), and often the frames would come up. People would ask, "Umm . . . who's in those pictures?"

I would answer in the straightest face possible, "Oh, those are my 18 illegitimate children. Man, child support is a beast, isn't it?"

That initial look on their faces before they realized I was joking was worth money. I could've charged admission to see that.

SanChonino...yer a freak dude.   

From the Free Range Kids blog I linked to earlier . . an excerpt from today's post . . .

But anyway – the whole point of this site is that if we don’t start examining our fears and whether they really make any sense, we’ll just keep cutting “dangerous” activities out of our kids’ lives without even thinking twice.

It’s like being on a diet that restricts any foods you have ever heard may be harmful, no matter what the source — actual scientist, quack, morning news show — or how it applies to you. So you cut out all salt, all fat, all carbs, all dairy, all eggs, all peanuts, all wheat, all meat, all tap water (in case it’s carcinogenic), all bottled water (in case it’s carcinogenic), coffee (because it’s so wonderful, something must be wrong with it) and pretty soon you are eating unsalted popcorn three times a day with nothing to wash it down with.

Meanwhile, think of how we’ve restricted our kids:  they’re not allowed to walk to school (cars!), bike to a friend’s house (perverts on the way), play in the park (those perverts again), the woods (scary), the creek (drowning) the lawn (ticks), the tree (gravity) or dirt (dirt).  All they are left with is a selection of supervised, sanitized, often pricey activities that allow zero room for creativity. And at the end – I know because I’ve been there – they get a trophy.

So I got my boys the skateboard which, it turns out, if you’re not Tony Hawk, really does not go very fast and has yet to make any kind of airborne loop. The kids love it, they wear their helmets and it gets them out of the house a little.

Good incentive to do something different!

And in related news: 27 skills your kids need that they won't be taught in school

A sampling:

Financial

• Saving. Spend less than you earn. It’s such a simple maxim, and yet very few young adults understand it or know how to follow it. Teach your child from a young age to put part of money he receives or earns in the bank. Teach him how to set a savings goal, and save for it, and then purchase whatever it is he was saving for.

Thinking

• Critical thinking. One of the most important skills not taught in school. These days, we are taught to be robots, to listen to the teacher and not to question, to accept what we are told and not to think, to be good employees and to shut up. If you’re an employer, you might want your employees to be like this, and if you’re a politician, you might want your citizens to be like this. But is that how you want your child to be? An unquestioning, naive, ignorant citizen/employee/student? If so, carry on. If not, just start introducing the habit of questioning why? And the skill of find out the answer. And how to question authority — there is no one right answer. Conversation is a good way to accomplish this skill.

Success

• Positive thinking. While critical thinking is an important skill, it’s also important to have a positive outlook on life. Sure, things may be screwed up, but they can be changed for the better. Find solutions instead of complaints. And most of all, learn to believe in yourself, and to block out negative self-thinking.