Children are born innocent. They are affected by heredity and environment. Since heredity is out of the picture once a child is born, it is environment which is where this issue arises. Children are a reflection of their parents. Parent who must both work for that shiny SUV, remodelled house, vacations, and everything else that detracts from showing interest in their children, are criminal on the parental quality scale. Parents farm their children out to child care as soon as they are 6 weeks old, so the child is robbed of exlusive bonding to a parent and must devise mischief to ring that emotional attention out of a day care provider that is stretched thin among many children, and cannot satisfy that child no matter how good a provider they might be. These same parents seek babysitters on the weekend so they can enjoy their time free of the needs of their children and their jobs, both. The modern paradigm is to demand more of day care, rather than seek a way to join with your children during their precious first few years. How few parents even consider a sacrifice to be with their children, as they sacrifice their children for their SUV. Perhaps it is the parent that should be licensed, rather than the child care provider, so that we, as a society, could renew our commitment to our children. We may find that we get a better class of child from a better class of parent.

It's not such a bad idea at all, it certainly would help with cetain families that would value careers, or worse yet, drugs and partying over their own children. But what would a test be like for parenting? What values/morals and questions would necessity the answers for good parents? How do you work it, that you have to achieve a 100% or would there be a sliding scale? Would a C+ parent be good enough to be a good parent?

Soldierdad got an insightful for that response...

I think that women being told we can 'have it all' - a career, a family, a home and be successful at each one - I think that has a lot to do with why kids are the way they are.  We can have it all, yes...but our kids are the ones who lose out.  Gone are the days of the matriarch, the woman whose primary concern was her family.  Instead of Suzie Home-maker we have Gloria Go-getter...women who work full-time, who have houses that look like something out of Better Homes and Gardens and whose kids wear Gap and Calvin Klein clothing.  On the surface they may appear to have then 'perfect' life, but scratch a little deeper....you'll see that someone, somewhere down the line is losing out, and more often than not it's the kids. The kids are the ones who are being sent to school and daycare, who are being pushed aside in the evenings because their parents are too tired to talk to or play with them, who are being left with sitters on the weekend so mom and dad can go relax after their hard week at work....kids need time, quality time spent with their folks, not X-boxes and Gameboys (although they won't tell you that).  We can't just keep tossing money and toys at our kids and hoping that will improve their behaviour.  It won't. 

Anyway, I'm rambling so I'll shut up now!

There is no shade of grey on this issue. There are parents who (or single parent families) that use every ounce of their ability to make the family magic happen for their child(ren). They are the caring ones, that take their personal joys and relaxation only after the kids have had the desired interaction. These are not thought of as "kids" but little people who are the most important in the world. These parents don't drive expensive vehicles, worry about clothing or the house. The do not subvert their primary roles for materialism. And the other side of the coin, those parents that finance their children's upbringing through various surrogate parenting, however common and accepted by society, become generic "kids" to be scheduled, trained, and indoctrinated through all manner of organization outside of a personal parent-child relationship, are far less likely to develop the human perspective which would make a well-balanced person instead of the subhuman, manipulative trouble-prone child that exhibits anti-social behavior.

Soldierdad, I'm terribly impressed....can you tell me a little about yourself?  I'm just wondering where you get your knowledge from.

Whew! Just finished reading all the responses to the lament of yours, dharma, and the way things expand in the discussion was great. My initial response is still floating around in my mind, so if it helps.... I'll be glad.
ADULT -movies. MATURE audiences only. Partial-BIRTH-abortions. Homosexual -MARRIAGE. Political dogfighting. Smear-tactics. Removing God from school. Removing God from government (except in time of war). Whatever. Internet-pornograpy. for the young and old (HIGH-TECH, huh? Whatever. We right -thinking grown-ups are having our collective-asses kicked down the middle of State Street.(my Mom's terminology). I think it shows, no? The 'social experimenting' has more to do with these kids than it does with any of us. Freedom is great, but its abuse sucks.
C'mon, kids. Let's go. Whatever. Love ya.

ADULT -movies. MATURE audiences only. Partial-BIRTH-abortions. Homosexual -MARRIAGE. Political dogfighting. Smear-tactics. Removing God from school. Removing God from government (except in time of war).

Sorry, I don't agree.  I don't have god in my house, and I'm in favor of homsexual marriage, but my kids aren't hooligans.

I'll concede that 'freedoms' have gone a little too far and that freedom for one has turned into censorship and theroretical handcuffs for another....but I honestly don't think that a lack of god has caused kids to go bad.

Just to throw in a current event relating to the topic. A 15 year old child just murdered his mother yesterday. Why because they were fighting about allowing a 19 year old girlfriend to come over. This is after a previous attack upon her a few years ago. She worked in a correctional facility. According to the neighbor she would spoil this kid with everything he asked for, new computer, new clothes everything. The father is not in the picture and they did not specify on the news what has occurred. How terrible of a parent do you have to be that your child’s morals are so off that they would consider patricide. FYI: He’s being brought up on second degree murder as an adult.

How terrible of a parent do you have to be that your child’s morals are so off that they would consider patricide.

I don't think she was a terrible parent, I think she spolied the kids.  I think he killed her because he wasn't going to get what he wanted, and she was going to be the reason why.

Too many parents try to compensate their children with 'stuff'. They buy them things instead of spending time with them..they try to make up for not being there by giving their kids toys, games, money, whatever.  "I'm sorry your dad's not around, here's an X Box to make up for it"...we're raising a generation of spoiled brats. 

Kids today don't have parents around to pass on moral behaviors. Both parents are away working (welcome to the consequences of womens lib and "bra burning days") so the kids are left on their own, or left with a child care provider that can't discipline the kids for fear of the parents becoming angry.

As a full-time mom and full-time worker away from home at a "9-5" I have to stand up for us moms who are dedicated moms and only want to have it all for the betterment of our family. We want to be able to afford to feed and clothe our children and meet their needs and also in the process hopefully chop out a little time for ourselves and our mate. Does that mean we are bad parents, no.

So, when speaking in general like that: "Gone are the days of the matriarch, the woman whose primary concern was her family. Instead of Suzie Home-maker we have Gloria Go-getter...women who work full-time, who have houses that look like something out of Better Homes and Gardens and whose kids wear Gap and Calvin Klein clothing." While this may be true for some, Dharmagrl, you should say that it's not for everyone who is out there trying to provide for their family (and maybe you did and I didn't read that clearly), just for some people.

I have to agree with Soldierdad who hits the nail on the head with his comments: "There is no shade of grey on this issue. There are parents who (or single parent families) that use every ounce of their ability to make the family magic happen for their child(ren). They are the caring ones, that take their personal joys and relaxation only after the kids have had the desired interaction. These are not thought of as "kids" but little people who are the most important in the world. These parents don't drive expensive vehicles, worry about clothing or the house. The do not subvert their primary roles for materialism. " We don't have an SUV, we have a used car in fact. We give our kids an allowance every two weeks, if the budget can afford it, otherwise they get it when we can give it to them and they do understand that arrangement. We're not perfect but we are accountable to ourselves and our children. And as Soldierdad said "then there is the other side of the coin..." so, everyones' lives is different.

While this may be true for some, Dharmagrl, you should say that it's not for everyone who is out there trying to provide for their family (and maybe you did and I didn't read that clearly), just for some people.

No, and if I gave that impression then I apologize.  There are some working moms who truly do bust their asses to give their kids all the attention they can, disregarding their own needs and desires in the process.  That being said, I see a lot of parents who don't. 

It's a tough topic and so many people have different opinions on it. There isn't one thing you can point to and say that's the problem. There are just so many factors involved. Personally I think the major contribution is in how the kids are treated in the first 6 years of their lives. Most of the brain development happens in the first 6 years. You can also say that the our core being also becomes shaped in that time. Problem is also most people don't know how to treat a kid. There is no manual to help us, and it's hard for us to relate to them. Now with both parents working and not having the time to spend with the kids makes the situation only worse. Then we are bombarded constantly about taking time for ourselves and enjoying our lives. But when you work 8 hours a day there is not much time to spend alone. So to take the alone time and enjoy ourselves we take that time away from out children.
There is a certain amount of responsibility we take upon ourselves when we have kids. And we have to realize that there are things we also have to sacrifice. But in the end it was a decision we made ourselves and have to oven up to it. It's a hard thing for people to grasp and accept. There are alot of things I would love to do even now when I don't have any kids. Would love to travel more and do things. But I also want to have kids in the future so I am giving things now so I can save money now for their future. When you have kids have another mouth to feed, another person to clothe. University is bordering on unaffordable but for the rich. I also want to be able to work less hours when I have kids so I can spend time with them. This all means having to sacrifice things. It's hard enough to have the discipline for our own good but when it's for someone else even your child it becomes even harder. So at times I agree that maybe not everyone should be allowed to have kids an there should be a license to have them.

Here is another thing to think about. The last part of the brain to develop has to do with being able to have empathy towards others. And it seems that part gets developed after our teen years. So it's hard for children and teens to put themselves into someone else’s shoes and feel for them. Maybe it's something from out evolutionary process. We need to be greedy and think of only ourselves when we are young and weak so we can survive. Of course if you don’t believe in evolution then you what I just said is complete bull to you.

In the end to raise a kid it takes time, patients and understanding. Something a majority of people are lacking in.

ps. Sorry for the long post.

Your article is ridiculous. I quote, "As you may have guessed from the preceeding paragraph, most of the juvenile offenders are black." what the fuck is that. Because somebody raises a little hell is it automatically assumed that they are black. No wonder kids no longer respect elders if elders are anything similar to yourself. I am at a loss for words from your ignorance that is prevelant throughout the article. You should be ashamed at ever writing something as trashy as that.

Hey sameoldrat...I'll tell you what the fuck that is.  I'm not automatically assuming they're black, I KNOW they're black.  I see them, I've caught them, I've talked to their mommas.

Why don't you actually read before commenting?  But that would be too much work for your peanut sized intellect, now wouldn't it?

I am at a loss for words at your ignorance, asshat.....here's a trolling score and nice place on my blacklist for ya.  You're in good company there.

Idiot.

Hey sameoldrat...I'll tell you what the fuck that is.  I'm not automatically assuming they're black, I KNOW they're black.  I see them, I've caught them, I've talked to their mommas.

Why don't you actually read before commenting?  But that would be too much work for your peanut sized intellect, now wouldn't it?

I am at a loss for words at your ignorance, asshat.....here's a trolling score and nice place on my blacklist for ya.  You're in good company there.

Idiot.

I agree dharmagrl...........i dont know why most blacks act like trash. i guess they are a bit less civilized than whites. and whites are bad enough. i guess thats why most blacks are democrats too. i am not a racist either. i am just stating the facts.

another thing, dharma...........how did i get in third place? i am usually criticized for writing boring articles.

dharma............you wanna see hooligans????? just wait until your kids become teens.

just wait until your kids become teens.

I have a year until that happens, Marvin, and I can tell you right now that should mine go down that path the wrath of the 375th SFS will be put in their way.  Around here, cops look out for their own, and each other's own.

im on a military post in germany and i see the same things u do
most of these kids never even seen or lived on the streets in real city in america
i was born and raised in philadelphia and i dont act like these kids
they all want to be GANGSTAs and u cant do anything to them because the military rules protect them and the fact that thier parents r all high ranking NCO s they think being black gives a reason to be mad or act outit is just ashame