Prayer

What's it all about?

from JoeUser Forums

It's... gasp! another Christian article.  Skip it if you don't want to read another Christian article.  Here, I'll put in this 'more' tag so that you won't have to read any of the substance if you don't want to. [more]

 

Still with me?  Good!  There's no substance in here, either, but hey, I didn't say there would be.


So some people pray, some meditate, some have quiet time, some do none of that.  What's the difference, and why does anyone care?

First off, I need to define meditation and quiet time, which I will lump together as 'not prayer'.  It is my understanding that the reason one meditates is to either think more clearly or clear one's head completely.  This may enhance focus, concentration, and a whole bunch of other positive effects. 

The difference between prayer and meditation is that meditation focuses on oneself while prayer focuses on God.  You can pray selfishly, for sure.  You can just ask God for things that will make your life easier.  There are things He's just sitting up there, waiting for you to ask Him for. Ask and you shall receive, knock and the door will open.  But the focus is what God can do, not what you can do.


I have also been told to 'meditate' on scripture.  I have no idea what this means.  I think it means 'contemplation' of the scripture, thinking about it, turning it over in your head, and letting the Holy Spirit guide you to the correct meaning of the scripture.  I've never done this, so how should I know?

As for prayer, I find it difficult to believe it.  That doesn't mean I should disbelieve it, or that I don't believe it... it just means it's hard for me to give prayer the importance that God quite obviously gives it repeatedly in the Bible.  Apparently, in Revelations, the prayers of the Saints are kept in bowls.  That's how precious our prayers are to God, He keeps them.  So, since God created everything, including us, he has pretty much everything.  The only thing we have left to give Him is ourselves, and we do that only through prayer.

There are spiritual disciplines, but God does NOT call his Temple the House of Preaching, the House of Music, the House of Bible Reading, etc. etc.  Jesus said that the Temple would be called a House of Prayer.  So, logically, what would you say is the purpose of Bible reading, preaching, music, and all that?  It's to lead everyone into prayer!  That's all it's about.

Why does God want everyone to be saved?  So we will all pray to Him.  Converse with Him.  Fellowship with Him.

Don't get me wrong here.  I'm not saying he NEEDS are prayers.  He WANTS our prayers.  He is willing to limit himself based upon what we pray for.  It does say 'ask and you shall receive' not 'don't ask and you'll get it anyway.'  So ask.  Because God has everything you need, and He wants to give it to you.

So, some people might say that prayer is just a tool.  You pray, which makes you go out and get whatever it is you prayed for under your own power, and if you don't, you just say it was God's will.  Well, yeah, that happens sometimes I'm sure.  But if you're constantly praying to God for something he doesn't want you to have, you're going to know about it.

But the real proof against prayer being just a tool, is this:  People can tell when they're being prayer for, especially when they're being prayer for by a large group.  People pray, God responds.

One of the things to remember is that the most effective prayers are when 2 or more Christians (or is it 3?  Well, just fill a room, that'll do the trick) are in agreement over a prayer.  Why isn't a single prayer as effective?  Is it because there's more people involved?

I don't think that.  I think it's because, in order for two people to agree about a prayer, it can't be a selfish prayer.  It has to be a prayer that is really modeled after God's heart, and that is why you need more than one person.  A kind of test.

Quiet, alone time prayer is good for reflection and for contemplation, and for increasing your relationship with God.  But what really separates it from non-prayer is when people do it corporately.  That's where the real power is.  That's where the proof is.  That's where the world is changed.

Revival starts when the people pray.  People don't pray now.  I mean, some people do, but I'd put a lot of money down right now that the majority of people who call themselves Christians did not pray today, at all.  The majority of people who are truly saved probably didn't fare much better. 

Saul was a terrible persecutor of Christians, but he changed.  God sent someone to meet him, and when the guy was scared to go, God said that he could go, because Saul prays.  That was it for God.  He prays, he's all right, go meet him.

Why do we neglect such an important part of our Christianity?  That's easy.  Because you feel silly when you pray.  You're talking out loud to a being you've never seen.  At least when you do it in your head you can pretend on the outside you're not praying.  But if you're speaking aloud, everyone is going to hear you... and what you're saying... and think you're crazy... crazy!

You're not crazy.  Satan wants you to think you're crazy, and he absolutely DOES NOT want you to pray, because it mobilizes armies against him.  So pray anyway.  Cast out demons.  Interceed.  Pray for other's salvations.  Pray with other believers, and the Bible guarantees that God will respond.  And He will be very happy, and keep your prayers in bowls.  Seriously.

religion
8,246 views 46 replies
Reply #1 from Stardock Forums Top

Feel free to ask questions I can't answer or debate/discuss whatever I've written and completely outclass me intellectually.  I don't really know much, except that I blathered on a great deal more than I usually do, so I probably got at least one thing right in that mess. :D

Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I have always had issues with prayer.

The Bible continually states that God hears the prayers of the righteous.

See: Proverbs 15:29, James 15:16, 1 Peter 3:12

Despite the fact that all people are exhorted by Christians to pray, the Bible makes it clear that prayers of the RIGHTEOUS are the ones that are heard.

So if I'm not righteous, is my prayer a waste of time? How would one know if they are righteous? Despite my best efforts, I have never felt confident that I was righteous.

Therefore, were my prayers absorbed in the ether rather than making it to the ears of God?

Now, I have a basic and pretty fundamental disbelief in God(s) (and the supernatural) at this point. I am open to a religious experience that would change my mind, but it would have to be pretty powerful at this point. So I no longer pray since I do not believe there is anyone to pray TO.

It seems to me that the Christian God has a pretty sweet thing going in regards to prayer. If you pray and ask for something (comfort, patience, health, safety for loved ones, a new car, help with a problem at work, whatever) and you gain what you asked for, then God is good and faithful and yay thank you God. Many times what is asked for is only granted in a very loosely interpreted way but the Christian seems to be looking for something, anything to assign to God.

However, if a Christian prays and there is absolutely nothing that can even remotely be assigned to God, the Christian is then required to say, thank you God you know best, you said no in your wisdom OR it is my fault and my prayer was rejected because of my own failings as a person or Christian.

It's win-win for God. He gets the glory but is blameless always.

It also seems that Christians use prayer as a crutch...a way of dealing with things when they get too intense. I can't handle this God, you take it and I won't worry about it anymore. I guess it's comforting to think some almighty being is looking after your interests, but to me it seems like just another method of dealing with difficulties like therapy or eating or working out or journaling or whatever.

I feel like many of the Christians I have known have used it as an excuse to not tend to their own affairs. Of course those that DO tend to their own affairs while also seeking solace in prayer attribute the beneficial affects of their own work to the amazing power of God.

Ha, I just have issues with prayer.

Object Desktop - Get all of our enhancement utilities in one suite
Reply #3 from Stardock Forums Top

I always thought of prayer as more of a theraputic thing.  I figure if God wants you to have something or not He'll do it regardless of whether you ask for it or beg for it to stop.

I suppose I base it on that "Divine Plan" aspect.  If there's a plan, He ain't gonna change it because some humans asked him to.  Didn't His plan cause him to destroy some cities and in fact the entire world?(By the way, how did all those plants survive in the salt water for 40 days?  They should've died and then all the animals would starve because there's no food)  So what's one prayer, eh?  Now it may be useful in connecting...though I've never felt anything personally.  That's why I tend to equate it with wishful thinking...but that's just me.  I've always preferred action over prayer anyway.  Prayer is hoping something happens or asking for it to happen...action is making it happen.

Then you've got the laws of probability to think about which technically dictate the world around you...but in the short term anything is possible.

Eh, I'd better stop before I get lost in my own head.

~Zoo

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
It's okay to have issues with prayer. Heck, I have issues with prayer. But that doesn't change the fact that God wants my prayers, you know? (or don't know? :P)

It also seems that Christians use prayer as a crutch...a way of dealing with things when they get too intense. I can't handle this God, you take it and I won't worry about it anymore. I guess it's comforting to think some almighty being is looking after your interests, but to me it seems like just another method of dealing with difficulties like therapy or eating or working out or journaling or whatever.
End of quote


That's one of the points of prayer, though. I was going to mention this in the original article but it slipped my mind.

Christians can't handle life without God. Can't do it. It's impossible for us to live up to the standard that we know we should, without His power. He's the guy behind any good I do. Not me. I don't give because I want to give - I give because God wants to give, through me. Without God, all my motives are selfish. Everything I do is about me. If I were to give, without God, I would be giving in order to inflate my self-importance, not out of love.

And heart attitude is what really matters, and the best way to get your heart the right attitude is-you guessed it- prayer! Pray for God to give you the heart that loves, that gives, that wants to do what He would have you do - why wouldn't God give you that? Why wouldn't God change your life if you asked Him to? There will always be struggles, but God's there with you to ask for wisdom, strength...

What'd the apostles do? It was a natural reaction for them. You're in trouble... pray. You're in jail... pray. Someone's persecuting you... pray. Anything at all... pray. Why? Because we can't do it ourselves. We're worthless without Jesus Christ, and that fact is so hard to grasp that I can hardly even type it here. But it's the truth. Without Jesus, dead. With Jesus, alive. Without God, helpless. With God, have all of God's strength and wisdom at your disposal - if you ask for it.

If you pray for something, and it isn't granted... well, there are two things that I can think of. One, your own motives were self-based. Two, it involved the free will of another, which God won't play with.

If I pray that I would like to have boatloads of cash so I could bless people through my giving, the important part - blessing others, is probably going to be granted. But I might bless them through giving of my time instead, because maybe God knows that I would be tempted to be a miser instead of a giver. That's why there are prayers that are answered not in the way you want, because God knows the important part of the prayer, but that the delivery of it doesn't matter so much.

Of course, if you really did pray that prayer, maybe Satan would tempt you to keep all that money after God gave it to you. But God won't give you more than you can handle. So if you couldn't resist, He wouldn't have given you the money to start with.

God didn't just make one promise. He made a lot of promises, and He keeps them all.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
He ain't gonna change it because some humans asked him to.
End of quote


Now we get into the deterministic/free will/God's knowledge of everything bit, where I say that God knows you so well that He knew you would pray that and planned accordingly. That's in the Bible. He knows what you are going to ask before you do. If you aren't going to ask it, then he knows what you didn't ask - and plans accordingly.

But wait, isn't that deterministic? Where's the room for free will?

Well, God knows your will. He knows your will now, and in the future, and in the past. That's a big God.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Well, God knows your will. He knows your will now, and in the future, and in the past.
End of quote


Uhh...you just blew my mind...kinda. I saw stars.

Still that's a very weird concept. Why would God allow evil, then? Couldn't he have prevented a lot of the horrible things in this world by sending down a holy finger and squishing some rather nasty individuals before they caused any problems?

Or is because God likes us to experience hardship? So He can consume our sweet tears of sorrow, because they give Him power. :)

What better way to make a baby cry then to give him candy and then take it away?

~Zoo
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Babies also cry when you give them candy and they purposely toss it on the floor. We walked away from God, we used our free will to go astray, and while He knew it would happen, He also had a plan to get us back. And here Christians are.

He allowed sin because obedience by force is not obedience at all. He wants us to obey Him because we want to, because we know He wants the best for us.
Reply #8 from Stardock Forums Top

Prayer is the best weapon a Christian has.  Well, at least I think so but we know he gave us full armour to rely on and all parts of our Christian discipline are important.   But I agree Prayer is hard........I mean even the Apostles fell asleep.....how can we expect to do better....;)

I'm glad you mentioned about Satan not wanting us to pray.  WE have an example of that in Daniel.  Prayer is the way we communicate with God. He hates that.   I've heard it said by many that there is two things Satan hates the most, Christians in prayer and Christians in the Word.  Both have to do with communication. 

Where are you getting more than one Christian is needed for more effectiveness Jay?  Anything special?  Whenever I hear when two or three are gathered,  it's usually not mentioned it has to do with church discipline.   I'm thinking of Christ telling us to go privately (like in a closet) and pray and not be showy about it.  But on the other hand corporate prayer is quite powerful, but not sure one is better than another.  Both are useful. 

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
We walked away from God,
End of quote


Eve walked away...why do we have to make up for it so many years later?

He allowed sin because obedience by force is not obedience at all. He wants us to obey Him because we want to,
End of quote


Isn't it force to threaten us with hell at every little turn? Don't follow the rules and you burn forever in eternal hellfire...yeah, there's no fear or anything to go along with that, eh?

I always thought that was a little weird. To say we have a choice when the only alternative to eternal happiness is eternal pain and anguish. Scare the Christians with hellfire, let'em choose. :D

Doesn't that lead to a religion based on fear rather than love? That's a consequence I hear Christians spout off, "You'll go to hell if you don't believe." "You'll go to hell if you do that." and many variations. A lot of them focus on the negative. Catholic schools I hear are notorious for the "Going to Hell" threat.

You know, just a little contradiction's what I see.

~Zoo
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
Whenever I hear when two or three are gathered, it's usually not mentioned it has to do with church discipline.
End of quote


Maybe I'm not remembering correctly. I thought it said somewhere that whenever two or more agree in prayer.. Oh well, I'll have to read the New Testament again.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
Eve walked away...why do we have to make up for it so many years later?
End of quote


Because Adam passes on this nature of wanting to do for oneself, wanting to be 'like God' (self sufficient) and that's not what we are. We are not self sufficient, we need God. But each of us has in us that nature that says, "No, we don't need God, we can do it ourselves!"

Isn't it force to threaten us with hell at every little turn? Don't follow the rules and you burn forever in eternal hellfire...yeah, there's no fear or anything to go along with that, eh?

I always thought that was a little weird. To say we have a choice when the only alternative to eternal happiness is eternal pain and anguish. Scare the Christians with hellfire, let'em choose.

Doesn't that lead to a religion based on fear rather than love? That's a consequence I hear Christians spout off, "You'll go to hell if you don't believe." "You'll go to hell if you do that." and many variations. A lot of them focus on the negative. Catholic schools I hear are notorious for the "Going to Hell" threat.

You know, just a little contradiction's what I see.

~Zoo
End of quote


Who threatens you? What do you think God's trying to tell you, Zoo? "IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE, YOU WILL GO TO HELL!!!" No way! God's trying to tell you, "I want you to be with me forever, please! All you have to do is believe!" He's pleading for you, Zoo. And people stand there and say, "No, I won't believe." And then they have the gall to say that God is SENDING them to Hell? If he wanted you to go to hell for disobeying, he would not have sent His son. He did that to rescue us, so we could be with Him forever. If he didn't want you there, He wouldn't have sent His son at all! What would have been the point? "I'm sending my Son, but you're all going to Hell for your sins anyway." No way! THAT would be a contradiction, Zoo.

As for fear, not love, based...

Ps 111:10 (NEB) The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and they who live by it grow in understanding...

Prov 9:10 (NEB) The first step to wisdom is the fear of the Lord, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

And the more you know the Lord, the more you love Him, or hate Him. There's no middle ground though.
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
Prov 16:6 (NEB) ...the fear of the Lord makes men turn from evil.

Job 28:28 (NEB) ..."The fear of the Lord is wisdom, and to turn from evil is understanding."

Ps 25:12-14 (NEB) If there is any man who fears the Lord, he shall be shown the path that he should choose; he shall enjoy lasting prosperity, and his children after him shall inherit the land. The Lord confides his purposes to those who fear him, and his covenant is theirs to know.

Prov 14:26-27 (NIV) He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge. The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, turning a man from the snares of death.

Ps 34:9 (NEB) Fear the Lord, all you his holy people; for those who fear him lack nothing.

Prov 19:23 (NEB) The fear of the Lord is life; he who is full of it will rest untouched by evil.

Woohoo for Googling Bible studies! :D
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
But each of us has in us that nature that says, "No, we don't need God, we can do it ourselves!"
End of quote


We do? Well, that's news to me. Although I can see how we survive without God...seeing as how I never see his presence or feel it. Then we have all the horrible things that happen to innocent people, children even...where is God then? When a small child is kidnapped, molested, and murdered? He ain't a whole lot of help there is He?

Send your kid out in the woods and ask God to protect'em. Would you do it?


God's trying to tell you, "I want you to be with me forever, please! All you have to do is believe!" He's pleading for you, Zoo.
End of quote


Who am I that God has to plead to me? Would He lower himself so much as to beg a mere mortal to follow Him? He has unlimited power, why would one such as He bow to the likes of us? I saw not His pleading as He flooded the world...He merely said, "Screw it, you're all dead."

If he wanted you to go to hell for disobeying, he would not have sent His son. He did that to rescue us, so we could be with Him forever. If he didn't want you there, He wouldn't have sent His son at all!
End of quote


Why did He send His son? Couldn't He have just said, "You know what, I'm forgiving you guys." and saved Jesus a whole hell of a lot of torture?

I don't see why sinless mortal blood had to be spilled for our sins...though it does tie into the yearly murder of the lamb thing.(God sure likes His blood.) Anywho, being all powerful should allow you to...well, you know be kind of a cool guy and not send a human vessel to get the absolute crap beaten out of him then hung up on a stick to die. In all honesty, that's being kind of a dick to Jesus.

~Zoo
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
Woohoo for Googling Bible studies!
End of quote


You notice how it all mentions fear is good? Isn't that strange? Love through fear...isn't that what we call an abusive relationship these days?

~Zoo
Reply #15 from Stardock Forums Top

Maybe I'm not remembering correctly. I thought it said somewhere that whenever two or more agree in prayer.. Oh well, I'll have to read the New Testament again.
End of quote

Check out Matt 18 that's what I think you're referring to (most do) but it's about church discipline.  There is corporate prayer in Acts when the 120 followers were waiting for the HS to come at Pentecost. 

You notice how it all mentions fear is good? Isn't that strange? Love through fear...isn't that what we call an abusive relationship these days?
End of quote

Good Question Zoo. .........

Jay?  Your turn.

 

Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
You notice how it all mentions fear is good? Isn't that strange? Love through fear...isn't that what we call an abusive relationship these days?
End of quote


No. We call an abusive relationship one where someone is being abused.
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
No. We call an abusive relationship one where someone is being abused.
End of quote


Psychological abuse is still abuse.

"Love and accept me or you're going to hell."

Well, I kinda have to love Him or I'm going to be screwed.


Could be comparable to some psychopath saying:

"Love me or I'll beat you....for eternity."

Not a great set of options.

~Zoo
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
You do it again. You make it sound like it's God threatening you when God does no such thing. YOU choose to turn away and go to the one who will beat you for all eternity. I gave this analogy before, but it bears repeating.

God is like a man who finds a pimp beating a prostitute, who then rescues the prostitute, and takes her back to his care. He nurses her back to health, and when she is well, he asks her to stay with him forever and be his wife.

She runs back to the pimp to be mistreated more. And he'll keep going back and rescuing her until she's dead, or stays.

It's never God who threatens, and it's never Him who sends them back.
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
I don't see why sinless mortal blood had to be spilled for our sins...though it does tie into the yearly murder of the lamb thing.(God sure likes His blood.) Anywho, being all powerful should allow you to...well, you know be kind of a cool guy and not send a human vessel to get the absolute crap beaten out of him then hung up on a stick to die. In all honesty, that's being kind of a dick to Jesus.
End of quote


Jesus was in on it, Zoo. Jesus wanted to go. He was honored by it, and we still sing His praises over doing it for us. What good would be forgiving everyone if we did not know God? What good would heaven be?

God has mercy, but He also has wrath. I don't know why He decided to flood the earth. I don't know why he destroyed entire cities. Maybe, and this is a big maybe, he flooded the earth because no-one asked him not to! :D

Who am I that God has to plead to me?
End of quote


I don't know. Who are you?

Send your kid out in the woods and ask God to protect'em. Would you do it?
End of quote


I like to think God already protected my kids by giving me the wisdom not to send them into the woods alone. :D
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
God is like a man who finds a pimp beating a prostitute, who then rescues the prostitute, and takes her back to his care. He nurses her back to health, and when she is well, he asks her to stay with him forever and be his wife.
End of quote


Well if God picked up every prostitute being beaten by a pimp...he'd have a full house. :P


You neglect to say that God created the pimp in the first place....but...whatever. ;)

God has mercy, but He also has wrath.
End of quote


That may be an understatement. He has homicidal rage. :)

he flooded the earth because no-one asked him not to!
End of quote


That's horrifying thought, Jyth. Must we ask everyday for God not to kill the entire planet again? "Dear God, please don't kill us. Thanks! :) "

I don't know. Who are you?
End of quote


Who are any of us?

I like to think God already protected my kids by giving me the wisdom not to send them into the woods alone.
End of quote


Well you sure can sidestep a question, can't you? That's commendable, I don't meet many people that can do that effectively.

~Zoo

Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
Well you sure can sidestep a question, can't you? That's commendable, I don't meet many people that can do that effectively.
End of quote


My name's Nimble, and I live in Dodge City.

I did not dodge the question, I answered the question. God gives us wisdom and we have the responsibility to use it. When things are out of our control, which they often are, pray! But don't put people in danger just to prove God will protect them. Do not test the Lord your God.
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top
But don't put people in danger just to prove God will protect them. Do not test the Lord your God.
End of quote


Nah...that never ends well, does it? Otherwise all the rape and murder would stop...but you know how it goes.

~Zoo
Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top

Feel free to ask questions I can't answer or debate/discuss whatever I've written and completely outclass me intellectually. I don't really know much, except that I blathered on a great deal more than I usually do, so I probably got at least one thing right in that mess.
End of quote

My, my you are so hard on yourself....it's a very good article especially your wrap up last paragraph.

 

What seems to happen all too often is that we, in our weak and feeble nature,  don't pray until the going gets rough.

I'd like to expand a little on what you've written.

St. Paul urges, "Pray without ceasing" and one might ask how can this possibly be done. But according to Corinthians and Eph. 2: 10-15,  the whole Christian life is a prayer of union with Christ in His Mystical Body....so that's pretty phenomonal.

 

 

 

 

Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top
Nah...that never ends well, does it? Otherwise all the rape and murder would stop...but you know how it goes.
End of quote


*sigh* I know you're antagonistic towards organized religion, Zoo, we ALL know. But let me just tell you, God will NEVER force anyone to do anything. We all have the agency and the freedom to do what we choose. We simply can't choose the consequences. So yes, God created the pimp, but he didn't force the pimp to be a pimp. Pimp-y chose that life all by his own self.


St. Paul urges, "Pray without ceasing" and one might ask how can this possibly be done. But according to Corinthians and Eph. 2: 10-15, the whole Christian life is a prayer of union with Christ in His Mystical Body....so that's pretty phenomonal.
End of quote


To me, "pray without ceasing" tells me to always keep a prayer in my heart. To always remember him. I don't think it means be on your knees all day, head bowed, praying out loud, but to let God in on all aspects of your life. I changed pronouns there. Oops.
Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top

Jythier posts:

What'd the apostles do?
End of quote

They said, "Lord, teach us to pray". Christ answered the request by by teaching us the most perfect prayer..the Lord's Prayer. It teaches us to hallow God's name, and to do God's will perfectly on earth as it is in Heaven. He also taught us to pray for temperal and spiritual favors too, such as grace to overcome temptation, the forgiveness of our sins and the grace of final perseverance.

Texas Wahine posts:

So if I'm not righteous, is my prayer a waste of time? How would one know if they are righteous? Despite my best efforts, I have never felt confident that I was righteous.
End of quote
Jythier posts:
What'd the apostles do?
End of quote

St.Matt 5 tells us He promised to receive our prayer when it came from a loving heart, "for if you know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father from Heaven give the good Spirit to those who ask Him?"

 

Zoo posts:

Isn't it force to threaten us with hell at every little turn? Don't follow the rules and you burn forever in eternal hellfire...yeah, there's no fear or anything to go along with that, eh? I always thought that was a little weird. To say we have a choice when the only alternative to eternal happiness is eternal pain and anguish. Scare the Christians with hellfire, let'em choose. Doesn't that lead to a religion based on fear rather than love? That's a consequence I hear Christians spout off, "You'll go to hell if you don't believe." "You'll go to hell if you do that." and many variations. A lot of them focus on the negative. Catholic schools I hear are notorious for the "Going to Hell" threat.
End of quote

I'm Catholic and if someone asks me are you afraid of Hell? I say, of course I am. Nothing wrong with that. It has a way of putting things in proper perspective too. Knowing Hell is a reality, any sane person will live so as to avoid going there. This is ordinary prudence.  Take the example of a man leaping for his life off a railroad track as the train is coming. Do we say, you coward, you jumpted for your life for shear fear of that train?  God gave us our reason that we might use it for our well being and it is quite reasonable to weigh both advantages and penalties attached to moral law.  

Each of us is endowed with reason and is bound to exercise foresight. In life if you don't follow the rules, there's hell (of sorts) (consequences) to pay isn't there? Look...we are created as eternal beings....this life on earth is a pin prick in time compared to eternal life which we all have...either in eternal happiness or in eternal hellfire.

Since there is a future life, it has alot to do with morality and obeying the rules in this life. The future as such is a reasonable motive for present conduct. I refrain from eating certain foods for future indigestation will surely result later and so on and so forth. That is reasonable conduct. I try to refrain from morally wrong conduct becasue iot is wrong, it offends God, is a personal disgrace,  and will wrack my whole future existence if I persist in it  dying without repentance. All these motives are good. If the nobler motives fail to impress me in a given temptation, the thought or fear of Hell at least will give me pause to think and hopefully stop me.

The knowledge that retributation will follow violations of the moral law makes that law a real law. Could we say that all the penalties attached to the laws of the state are to the bad? Temptation to  Crime is resisted everyday becasue of the thought of future penalties. In the next life the principle is the same.