Where I'm supposed to be.

from JoeUser Forums

I've been thinking...actually, it's been more of a feeling than a thinking.

I am where I'm supposed to be.

After years of uncertainty, of feeling that something was not quite right but never being able to put my finger on what it was - I have a sense of belonging.  Of satisfaction.  Of being in the right place, with the right man, at the right time.  That all the crap I went through last year may just have been life's way of trying to show me that I wasn't where I needed to be - and that I was fighting to get to the wrong place. The methods used to get me to listen may have been a little extreme - but I was fighting hard, and have a habit of not listening until someone yells at me.  Life yelled at me, she screamed at me for almost a year before I paid attention.  Before I realized that she was trying to tell me something. Now she has my attention, I've been listening and re-examining.

Don't let my choice of words fool you - 'satisfaction' shouldn't be read as 'complacency'.  It's nothing like that.  I'm not complacent about anything.  I'm savoring every moment of every day of this life I have managed to fall in to.  I'm more...'in love' is the only phrase I can think of, but it really doesn't suffice...with Dave than ever.  It's not the giddy, kick-up-your-heel-heart-racing childish kind of love, it's so much more than that.  It's deeper.  More profound.  His imprint is on my soul.  It's indellible. With him is where I belong, and I have no doubt about that. 

I'm so...content, happy, at home....here.  I'm rejoicing in menial little tasks that I used to detest.  Cleaning the stove has become an exercise in happiness, and folding and putting away laundry - well, that brings me to the point of ecstacy! I look forward to getting up each morning and taking care of our little home.  I look forward to taking care of my little family. I'm happy...deeply, wholeheartedly, happy.

I am, finally, where I'm supposed to be.  Now I understand.

misc
3,435 views 7 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Dharma, it's so nice to see your blog after a long time. I am also happy to know that you are satisfied. Though I am not so lucky like you, I think each one has to find his own happiness through her/his karma, right?
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top

Hey, WP...!  What's been going on with you?

I am lucky...incredibly lucky.  I believe that we are all destined to have one great love in our lifetime - and I am fortunate enough to have found mine and am able to make a life with him.

You will find yours too...trust me. 

I don't know about Karma being the only path to happiness though....

The Political Machine 2024
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Dharma ... when you see the smile on the Buddhas face you now know what it is all about.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
"I claw the dirt and beg the ground, and curse the day that I began, to hope there'd be a place where I belong."

~Chris Rice

Trinitie
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top

glad youre so happy, dharma, it couldnt have happened to a nicer person.

Aww, thanks, Sabrina......now it's your turn.  After all the crap life has flung at you, it;s your turn to be happy and content.  I honestly feel that moving to Va will accomplish some of that for you.....

P: yes, now I understand.  It's the smile of total contentment with everything.  I wish that everyone could experience that feeling once in their lives....

Trin: thanks for the comments....yes, that's how i felt.  Not anymore though.

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Dharma, what a fabulous read! I think I can understand what you are talking about. I have been in places where I belonged (as I feel I am right now), and in places where I didn't belong. There is a certain feeling, an intangible sense of happiness and peace in being in the "right" place and time in life.

So happy to hear you are in that position.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Dev:  you get it!  I'm glad that you do....and that you are where you're supposed to be too!