I just don't friggin care anymore!!!!

from JoeUser Forums
Ok, it's getting to the point where i don't care at all about my life or anything! I hate it!! It sucks. I've thought many times about suicice, but that's a big time sin, and I don't want to go to hell. I know it would leave all the people that love me very sad. I know I think some people don't care about me in this world, but I bet they really do. I don't want to leave either, I'm not ready to. So that idea is out the door. I just don't know what to do about anything any more. It all sucks big time! Gosh, I just hate it!! All of it....all of my friggin life right now sucks big butt!!! I'm rankings have gone down and i just don't care about them anymore either. Screw it all, I don't care really what I rank anymore! Screw rankings! Screw my life. I'm crying right now and I can't stop..........i'm lost...i don't know what to do....................i'm in an empty hole and nobody is here to save me from being ate by the hole..............i'm lost...........all alone.................many things to fear and cry myslef to sleep on..............i'll go on in this hole.......never to see the good things again........I act happy most of the time around everyone when I'm really not happy one bit at all.......i just want them to see me happy and they don't have to worry about my problems. Should I do that? I'm so totally lost..............

~carebear~
misc
6,969 views 15 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Carebear: Awww, sweetheart . . . I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so bad. What you're feeling is pretty normal, but I would suggest maybe talking to your parents or maybe your pastor or school counselor about it anyways. Don't go around hurting in silence.

And don't let JU get you down . . . it's only one tiny little piece in the great big puzzle that makes up your life. The best is yet to come, sweetie. Your puzzle isn't anywhere near finished yet. You make get frustrated and feel overwhelmed by all the scattered pieces everywhere and you may feel at times like none of your pieces are fitting where you think they are supposed to go, but don't worry . . . your puzzle . . . your life . . . is going to be beautiful. What you think is a sky piece might actually turn out to be a dirt piece sometimes, but just hold on and let it all come together . . . try to remember that your life is bigger than the moment that you are currently in. I hope this helps at least a little bit. *hugs*
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Awww....Thank you so much Texas!!! You did help. I'm feeling better that I got all of it out. But I think maybe if you read my blog before this one you'd understand more.............maybe. Thanks for the hug! It was much needed!

*gives Texas a great big hug*

~carebear~
Siege of Centauri
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Carebear - I too am a bit sad to see you down

I wish I could just give you a big hug and tell you everything will ok!!! It's only natural for a bit of disenchantment to creep in every now and then, but just realise you aren't worthless, and everyone else goes through the same thing!!!

*hugs*

BAM!!!
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thanks Muggaz!! Big time dude! I wish I could just give you a big old hug right back because you're always here for me. I know it happens to all people, but unfortunalty it's happening to me now.

*gives muggaz the biggest hug ever!*

~carebear~
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
- I hate to tell you this CB - but you are entering into the age where it will happen to you about 4 times a year - every year! and each time will only make you stronger, and each time, hopefully, you will have people like Texas and me to let you know it's all going to be ok!!!



BAM!!!
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
hopefully, you will have people like Texas and me to let you know it's all going to be ok!!!


I hope I do have you guys around!! That would just make my day peachy!! Yeah, I've already had a couple of these already. And I have become stronger, but it seems that each time it gets harder and harder.

~carebear~
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
I remember my transition years, wasn't too long ago. *G* Some days are harder than others. Sometimes just feel like no one cares or just want to be in some other world. But just hang on and keep on going, came out pretty ok - no regrets on the lessons learnt either. *hugs ye*
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
I know about this deep black hole you mention.Ive gone there a few times myself..depression is nothing more than dwelling on yourself. The best thing to do is think about other things and get into the things you really like..or just get away for awhile.The next day can be a alot better than the one your dealing with at the time. As far as rankings and popularity goes...forget it.. peoples tastes are aways changeing. try to be satisfied with what you accomplish..opinions are like A holes evrybody knows one. just keep in mind its what you think that matters.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thanks Ravenblack!! *hugs back*

Doonagoth~ Right now I'm feeling a bit better. It's only been 4 hrs or so since I wrote this, but I've had some time to sleep on all of it. I'm sure I'll do fine, until something reminds me of what state that I'm in.

~carebear~
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm really sorry to hear your feeling like this, and I know it doesn't really help to say it's normal, and you will get through it, because it's a tough time to go through. I feel lost sometimes, like the world is this huge scary place, and my feelings, and thoughts get lost in it. These times will pass, and even better times will come along. Let them tears flow, and let yourself hurt, don't bottle it up, don't feel silly for it, just embrace it. Share your feelings with family and friends, they'd prefer to know, than wonder what's up with you. They will also want to help you and support you, you maybe surprised at how much support they give you. *hugz*
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
My dear girl, Sir Peter is always here for you, and I shall nurture you like a daughter. You have been most loyal and I regard you a pithy and wise young girl.

Good show.
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
The cure for that is quite simple, make some new friends! You used to come visit my threads...ive posted a lot of fun stuff lately and not a peep from you. I used to see you participate in a lot of the other bloggers stuff too...maybe youve been on threads that i havent read, but i hardly ever see your comments anywhere anymore.


Yeah, I know, I used to come. But it's been hard for me to get on here latley since this is my dad's computer and I'm not supposed to be on it at all. And then you have school work and such things as sports. I'll stop by tonight! I promise! Thanks so much LW!

Sally~ Thanks a tons girl! *hugs*

My dear girl, Sir Peter is always here for you, and I shall nurture you like a daughter. You have been most loyal and I regard you a pithy and wise young girl


Aww..thank you so much Sir Peter! It's nice to know that I can have a second dad handy!

~carebear~
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
It'll turn out fine, Ashley.....everyone has a down time...but that's when you need to divert your attention to more positive things...and talking out the negatives always helps. I don't like to see anyone depressed and I know some of what is messing with you...but, like I say....just talk it out....its usually the best way.....and I'm always around......so, just tell me......you can talk me ear off if you want....

Cheer up and things will get better....don't worry,
~Zoo
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
Carebear,

I know this is a couple of days late, but...don't give up! You are an incredibly talented writer, and a very beautiful and intelligent person (trust me, although you may not have the guys falling all over you, one day you will DEFINITELY find the right one). Whatever you need to do to keep going, do that. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
Yeah Shaun, I think I've already talked your ear off tons! Yeah, it's gotten better already! I mean come on look at what we were laughing about.....Pudding Snacks!!

Gideon~Thank you so much! *hugs*

~carebear~