it's a tomato plant, mum
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JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
i recently grew a tomato plant for the first time. it was about 8 inches high when my mum last visited. it was absolutely flourishing in a combination of dark soil and duck poo. (i save my food scraps for a neighbours' duck and he, you know, obliges, with the fertiliser).
upon spotting said tomato plant, my visiting mother asked me what type of plant it was. "it's a tomato plant" i told her. and she laughed !. and then she said "i wasn't born yesterday, you know".
now, i'm fully aware that the phrase "it's a tomato plant, mum" has long been uttered by teens the world over to cover up for a stinky budding marijuana plant, but this plant actually really was a tomato !.
"mum" i told her, utterly serious "it really is a tomato plant". she looked at me "it's a marijuana plant" she said. "mum !" (i was laughing by then) "i promise you, it's tomato plant. look closer at it". so she does, and then her mobile rings, and i hear her tell my stepfather "vanessa grows pot in duck shit !".
so i yell, loud enough for him to hear down the phone "IT REALLY IS A TOMATO PLANT" ... and he laughs and replies to my mother "don't tell me she STILL says that ?".
ugh. damned plant had better produce a tomato before she comes back again or i may never live this down.
this reminds me of a lil old lady I used to know. She had a canary and on warm days she let it sit outside in the yard. Canaries are pretty sloppy and the seeds went scattering. One of the seeds in canary mix is called hemp seed...in the mariguana family... One day she was arrested for growing pot in her backyard...I'll never forget her screams of protest..." It's canary seed!"....
