My Own Shyness...

from JoeUser Forums
If only I could figure out why I'm so shy.... It's not a lack of confidence.. I have a good self image... I think I look fine and am attractive enough, and a smart and sometimes charming person. yet every time I go out for a night, and meet new people I clam up... It's not that I don't want to talk to the people.. but it seems I've built up a pattern of waiting to get to know people before really talking much.

I guess I'm just the "quite" type.. though to me that doesn't seem right.. because as my friends know there are many times when I just won't shut up beacuse I've warmed up to the conversation so much.

My friends have also gone on about how amiable a person I am. That no matter how bad a situation is I can always find something positive in it... They've told me of what a great guy I am.. of how more people should be lucky enough to know someone like me...

Yet even having all that praise, and my own good sense of self image.. I still can't manage to be much of an initiater on things. I really wish of all things I could figure this out, because I believe it would solve most all of my social problems... well I'm pretty sure it would since I believe it to be my only real one!
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3,102 views 3 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
I can relate to this one completely. I'm exactly the same, not all the time, but in most situations where I don't know someone I'm pretty quiet. i think it's that i like to try and figure people out before jumping in feet first. I personally think it's a good way to be, the ones worth knowing stick around long enough to get to know the real you!
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I also believe that the good ones stick around.

It's just not to easy on the dating life though, because normally I want to get to know someone even just a little bit before asking em out to get to know each other better....

I've also learned that being shy like that, and being the "quite" one can push some people away because it kinda freaks em out. It doesn't mean they are bad people, but that they just aren't comfortable around someone who isn'g easily willing to throw their opinion or comments in on things.... if that makes sense

It's funny though really... because with all the friends I've had... and I've had a LOT... no one ever pictures me as being too shy until they see me meet new people. They never even knew back when I was meeting them that I was shy... well maybe just didn't notice....but I guess that could be because a lot of the friends I have are all very outgoing and sociable people.
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Yeah my dating life suffers too. I must come across as this unsociable boring wench! I just like to get to know someone, have a luagh with them and most importanty feel at ease. I can't just force it with people, if I'm not comfortable it will show in my behaviour, though we live in a world where taking time with people just isn't the norm anymore. My rule is friends first and see what happens, I think I'm far to fussy though!

I've found the same thing, people generally judge a book by it's cover. I'm funny though, sometimes I'm really loud and out going then others I'm quiet, it really depends on my mood, You seem like a sweet guy to me, and people worth it will see that