While He is Sleeping
ZzZzZz....
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
My husband and I were laying in bed tonight, and I was watching one of my favorite shows-"Residency Life". This show is awesome. It's sort of like "Trauma: Life and Death in the ER". Both of those shows are great. Anyway, I think my husband has the world record for how quickly one can fall asleep.. One minute he was talking about something, and like 10 seconds later his mouth was wide open and he was snoring.
Perhaps I live too hectic of a life. Perhaps my plate is too full, and maybe I work too much. Then again, I like it...However, this sort of lifestyle that I've created for myself has lead to many a restless, sleepless night. I've learned to overcome the anxiousness of experiencing a good adrenaline-pumping trauma on the job, but I still find it troublesome that it takes me well over an hour after I lay down to really doze off. Sometimes it almost feels like electricity is running through my veins as I replay the day's events in my mind.
Now, beyond the fact that my husband can go from fully alert and oriented to partially comatose in a matter of seconds..he looks funny while he is asleep. He lies on his back to sleep, and his mouth is wide open. I constantly think to myself that if it weren't so hard for me to fall asleep, and if I wasn't keeping an eye out, the forces of the vacuum-like suctions that accompany his snores may very well suck in the children....It's a damn good thing that their bedroom is on the opposite end of the hallway.
I notice how his teeth look....How is starting to take on more of a resemblence of his MOTHER!!! Oh my merciful heavens....my husband is starting to look like my mother in law. Droopy eyelids, chubby face, and big teeth. Please forgive me, but this is a scary thought.
Then there's the issue of flatulence...After he's good and asleep and I'm trying everything short of affixiation to put myself to sleep...out come the farts. How is it that someone's sphincter tone takes such a nose dive after he's asleep to allow all of this noxious gas to pass out of his body??? Is it just a problem that men have? Does anyone have a cork??
Okay, back to his mouth. It's wide open. I could very well go to the refrigerator and get a package of hotdogs, and fit approximately 1/2 of a pack of those bun-length weiners into his mouth. I don't think he'd even budge!!!
After putting up with myself and our offspring all day, I guess he is tired. He deserves to rest peacefully without anybody disturbing him...Oh, well. I just had to get all of this out...By the way, if anybody is missing any large appliances...my husband may have sucked them in. Goodnight.
Perhaps I live too hectic of a life. Perhaps my plate is too full, and maybe I work too much. Then again, I like it...However, this sort of lifestyle that I've created for myself has lead to many a restless, sleepless night. I've learned to overcome the anxiousness of experiencing a good adrenaline-pumping trauma on the job, but I still find it troublesome that it takes me well over an hour after I lay down to really doze off. Sometimes it almost feels like electricity is running through my veins as I replay the day's events in my mind.
Now, beyond the fact that my husband can go from fully alert and oriented to partially comatose in a matter of seconds..he looks funny while he is asleep. He lies on his back to sleep, and his mouth is wide open. I constantly think to myself that if it weren't so hard for me to fall asleep, and if I wasn't keeping an eye out, the forces of the vacuum-like suctions that accompany his snores may very well suck in the children....It's a damn good thing that their bedroom is on the opposite end of the hallway.
I notice how his teeth look....How is starting to take on more of a resemblence of his MOTHER!!! Oh my merciful heavens....my husband is starting to look like my mother in law. Droopy eyelids, chubby face, and big teeth. Please forgive me, but this is a scary thought.
Then there's the issue of flatulence...After he's good and asleep and I'm trying everything short of affixiation to put myself to sleep...out come the farts. How is it that someone's sphincter tone takes such a nose dive after he's asleep to allow all of this noxious gas to pass out of his body??? Is it just a problem that men have? Does anyone have a cork??
Okay, back to his mouth. It's wide open. I could very well go to the refrigerator and get a package of hotdogs, and fit approximately 1/2 of a pack of those bun-length weiners into his mouth. I don't think he'd even budge!!!
After putting up with myself and our offspring all day, I guess he is tired. He deserves to rest peacefully without anybody disturbing him...Oh, well. I just had to get all of this out...By the way, if anybody is missing any large appliances...my husband may have sucked them in. Goodnight.