Big Girls Don't Cry

from JoeUser Forums
Recently, a friend of mine a story about a run in she had with her land lord (at the time). At one point she said, "and I'm a girl, so of course, when I get mad, I start to cry," as a point of frustration.

I get it, I totally get it. I don't think I'm a big milquetoast, and my friend certainly isn't. Most people wouldn't categorize me as an emotional person. But when we get very mad, the tears well up, and when we went to speak sternly, our voice comes out shakey.

Why is this? Is this common all other women? I don't think it's a tool. If it is, I haven't learned how to use it. I'm not so manipulative. Anyone have any input?
misc
11,796 views 19 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
It just might be a women thing, I too have the same problem; I get really upset about something and cry and pretty soon I can't speak. I thought It was just me, but now I feel better.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
It is most definately a woman thing. While there are some men who cry under duress most of us tend to feel pressured to take action (good or bad) instead. Bonus points for working milktoast into an article:)
Galactic Civilizations IV
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
(extra bonus points for going back and correcting my spelling (milquetoast)!?)

Novena: I'm glad you can relate. My brain might be full of fight, but it gets stuck in there.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Women are, by nature, more emotional than men. That is a generalization of course, but on average is true.

I have seen men who cry when they are very angry, but of course the rest of us guys usually make fun of them. Not saying it's right, just a guy thing.

Women cry and/or throw things (like my ex)

Men get quiet and/or strike out with their fists. Just our natures. The madder I get, the quieter I get. When I stop talking, I'm ready to pound the snot outta somebody.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
my wife cries unexpectantly easy at times. Makes me uncomfortable.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Makes all us guys uncomfortable miki. I still think that's why they do it


Just kidding ladies, don't hang me by my, ummmmm, never mind.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Yea, keep it up Mason. You'll find out what uncomfortable is

I would agree that women steriotypically express more emotion than men. I would not go so far as to say that they are more emotional than men. Most of the men I know feel emotions very strongly, but as you all have said, they're more inclined to keep it inside.

Surely it's more healthy to express your emotions, but I guess what I'm looking for is more control over how and when I express my anger.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hmmm.. for me tears are a bit of a weapon... dare I admit it? I am conscious they can work to my advantage - by getting some sympathy and a swift end to an argument. I generally cry out of frustration but can pretend otherwise...... hehehehe.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
It happened to me just last night! I was at this very important meeting. My parents' were there and this woman in our church starts to publicly accuse my dad of something that he was totally innocent of. By the way, I am a grown woman with children of my own. The thought of my own father being publicly "wronged" was just too much for me. First I started shaking. Then, I started pacing on the outside of the room. Finally, I couldn't take it any longer and spoke up, only, my voice cracked and I started crying and couldn't get what I wanted to say out! (Not eloquently, anyway!) My emotions got the better of me. Everyone says that when you are dealing with a hard situation such as this, you should leave emotions out of it. How does one do this, I'd like to know?
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
It happened to me just last night! I was at this very important meeting. My parents' were there and this woman in our church starts to publicly accuse my dad of something that he was totally innocent of. By the way, I am a grown woman with children of my own. The thought of my own father being publicly "wronged" was just too much for me. First I started shaking. Then, I started pacing on the outside of the room. Finally, I couldn't take it any longer and spoke up, only, my voice cracked and I started crying and couldn't get what I wanted to say out! (Not eloquently, anyway!) My emotions got the better of me. Everyone says that when you are dealing with a hard situation such as this, you should leave emotions out of it. How does one do this, I'd like to know?
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
Coocoo bean: you use your tears as a weapon (giving woman a bad name, by the way), but do they ever work against you instead of for you? Or do you have complete control over when you cry?

Kayles: Thanks for sharing. That's exactly what I'm talking about it, and it's darn frustrating! You want to speak your mind and defend (whatever it is that's gotten your gander up), but instead you end up feeling like an idiot. Then, if you're like me, you obsess later over what you would have liked to have said. I hope you get the chance later to tell this woman what you wanted to say last night.
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
How does one do this, I'd like to know?


For men (in general) it's really not that hard. I think we're just wired that wasy, and years of practice at not demonstrating emotion helps.

I would not go so far as to say that they are more emotional than men


Sorry, I didn't state that correctly. What I meant was exactly what you said, that women show their emotions more. I didn't mean to imply that men don't feel them. We just aren't really comfortable showing them.
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top

I'm a girl, and I don't cry when I get mad.  I get loud, assertive, and if I'm really pissed I'll cuss. 


I cry when I'm hurt, I cry when I'm sad, I cry because I have hormones that are going crazy...but I don't cry when I'm mad.

Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top


For men (in general) it's really not that hard. I think we're just wired that wasy, and years of practice at not demonstrating emotion helps.



Do you think you're afraid of feelings?


Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
Do you think you're afraid of feelings? [/quote}

Nope, but as a kid you're afraid of getting beat up because of them
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
I feel so sorry for my son!
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
Awww don't feel sorry for him Kayles. It'll prepare him for the real world.

Just kidding anyway.
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
You mean there's a real world beyond this?
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
Not really, but it's a nice thought