Baby Mama Drama
January 8-9, 2008
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
Well, so much for things looking up. Monday evening we didn’t get home until 9pm. My car wouldn’t start when I left work, so I had to ask my husband to come down here and give us a ride. He just barely made it by 6pm so we could get the kids on time, then I had to wait while he dropped off my daughter at grandma’s house (I hate interrupting her routine, but she loves it when she gets to spend a few days there—I think it’s because she doesn’t actually have to follow rules…). The car wouldn’t take a jump, either. So it’s probably a problem with the starter. We spent another $35 on a tank of gas (on top of the $20 I put in the car that morning), since he was out. Then we took the baby to the urgent care, which is what I was planning on doing after work. He’s been coughing a lot, and since I just got over pneumonia I’m scared that he has it every time he starts coughing. But the doctor said his lungs are clear, which is one more thing I don’t have to worry about.
Yesterday my husband insisted that he absolutely needs his truck for work because he might have to haul something. I insisted that I absolutely need his truck for work because I might get fired if I don’t go in, and I’ve already asked friends to help me get to work more than I feel comfortable with. They shouldn’t have to make up for my failures. But he won that round because I didn’t want to argue, and I let him drive me to work and pick me up even though it’s twice the gas we needed to use.
While I was at work, my daughter’s father called me from rehab. Hearing from him is always a surprise. The last time he called was around Thanksgiving. He said each day sober it gets a lot easier, and that he’s learning that life doesn’t stop just because he stops using heroin. That made me roll my eyes. No shit, I thought. I would never have guessed. He also said that he might be moving to Volunteers of America soon. He said that he likes it there, but he’s getting called before the board tomorrow and might get thrown out. He said he was horribly sick with the flu for a week, and he got called before the board and given a 30-day lockdown because his room was messy, and he’s getting called in again because he didn’t make it to the required amount of meetings last week because he was so sick and couldn’t go anywhere without having someone with him because of the lockdown and no one would go with him because they all hate him. What a fucking baby. He sounds exactly the same as he always did, and I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to find out that his “flu” was actually a temporary relapse and the withdrawal symptoms associated with it and his room being “messy” was actually his stash being found. We tried to take him in and help him sober up back in July, mostly with my daughter’s interests in mind. That only lasted about three weeks, though, and we had to kick him out when we found a syringe on the floor in our laundry room. We can’t have stuff that dangerous in the house with the kids there. I’d like for my daughter to have him healthy and sober, because I know she loves him so much. But her stepfather has been acting as daddy since she was one year old, and he does great. Her real father didn’t even bother to call us before she was 3 years old and then suddenly popped in and wanted to be dad, but didn’t want the responsibilities that go with it. Sometimes I think that it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have broken up with him. After all, he didn’t start on the heroin until after I dumped him. Then I remember all the shit I put up with for four years, and all of the sacrifices I made for him (even an abortion at 17—it wasn’t what I wanted but I was scared and he is very persuasive) and after all of that he would cheat on me?! Well, I will put up with a lot of shit but I demand to be treated with that much respect at least. And so I don’t feel so bad about where his life has ended up. I know I did everything I could for him, and he has brought all of this on himself and he deserves every little bit of it.
We sat down after dinner and tried to figure out a way to get the car fixed, but we are stumped. I want to send it to a shop and just let them deal with it and make it work so I don’t have to worry about it anymore, and figure out how to pay for it later. But, as my husband pointed out, we don’t even have the cash to have it towed to the shop and if we don’t know how much it’s going to cost, it could be months before we have enough money to get my car back. Besides, he says he’s pretty sure it’s a problem with the starter, and if we can get it home he can diagnose the issue and we may even be able to take care of it ourselves. Of course that does nothing about the engine misfiring and the unburned gasoline that is spewing out of my exhaust, and it would be a hell of a lot more expensive to get it towed all the way home than it would be to get it a few blocks down the road. So we left it at that and we will think about it and talk some more tonight. Otherwise we would get frustrated and argue about it, and I don’t like to fight.
Then my stepdaughter’s mother called him, which is also pretty rare. She was actually being nice instead of screaming obscenities for no apparent reason, which is really just scary. That means she’s figured out a brand new way to make our lives hell. And she tried to get my husband to buy pot from her over the phone, which means she was probably recording the conversation. Obviously he told her he doesn’t do that anymore. That woman’s stupidity never ceases to amaze me. She told him that she is going to sue Wal-Mart for firing her for screaming at a customer. No joke. She also asked him to find a lawyer for her because “you’re the only person I know that’s smart enough to do that stuff”. She’s always devoted herself to making it very difficult for us to see my stepdaughter. Last Christmas she told us that we could have her for Christmas Eve, and my husband confirmed it twice over the phone that day that he would pick her up at 6pm. Then when he called to let her know we were on our way, she didn’t answer her phone. Then we piled into the car and made the hour long trip to her house, and she didn’t answer the door. And she refused to answer her phone or call us back for the rest of the month. That is the cruelest, most horrible thing I can think of someone doing on Christmas Eve, and I’m sure she was very proud of herself for coming up with that one. We didn’t even try this year. We learned our lesson.
So this morning I talked him into letting me drop him off at work, but I had to ask my boss to let me leave at 3pm today and tomorrow. He doesn’t want to sit in the cold at his job site for 2 hours waiting for me to get there. I think he’s acting like a baby. Take a blanket and a book and suck it up, for God’s sake! Of course I didn’t say that, that would be too mean. And I can’t leave early next week because my boss is on vacation and I have to be here to cover the phones, so we have to get the transportation issues resolved over the weekend. Luckily, my dad just offered to call in a favor from a friend with a tow truck, but he won’t tow it farther than his house. He also offered use of his garage over the weekend, which was very generous. I have to run it by my husband first, but that sounds like it would be a good solution. Now all I have to do is figure out a way to get money for parts.
Yesterday my husband insisted that he absolutely needs his truck for work because he might have to haul something. I insisted that I absolutely need his truck for work because I might get fired if I don’t go in, and I’ve already asked friends to help me get to work more than I feel comfortable with. They shouldn’t have to make up for my failures. But he won that round because I didn’t want to argue, and I let him drive me to work and pick me up even though it’s twice the gas we needed to use.
While I was at work, my daughter’s father called me from rehab. Hearing from him is always a surprise. The last time he called was around Thanksgiving. He said each day sober it gets a lot easier, and that he’s learning that life doesn’t stop just because he stops using heroin. That made me roll my eyes. No shit, I thought. I would never have guessed. He also said that he might be moving to Volunteers of America soon. He said that he likes it there, but he’s getting called before the board tomorrow and might get thrown out. He said he was horribly sick with the flu for a week, and he got called before the board and given a 30-day lockdown because his room was messy, and he’s getting called in again because he didn’t make it to the required amount of meetings last week because he was so sick and couldn’t go anywhere without having someone with him because of the lockdown and no one would go with him because they all hate him. What a fucking baby. He sounds exactly the same as he always did, and I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to find out that his “flu” was actually a temporary relapse and the withdrawal symptoms associated with it and his room being “messy” was actually his stash being found. We tried to take him in and help him sober up back in July, mostly with my daughter’s interests in mind. That only lasted about three weeks, though, and we had to kick him out when we found a syringe on the floor in our laundry room. We can’t have stuff that dangerous in the house with the kids there. I’d like for my daughter to have him healthy and sober, because I know she loves him so much. But her stepfather has been acting as daddy since she was one year old, and he does great. Her real father didn’t even bother to call us before she was 3 years old and then suddenly popped in and wanted to be dad, but didn’t want the responsibilities that go with it. Sometimes I think that it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have broken up with him. After all, he didn’t start on the heroin until after I dumped him. Then I remember all the shit I put up with for four years, and all of the sacrifices I made for him (even an abortion at 17—it wasn’t what I wanted but I was scared and he is very persuasive) and after all of that he would cheat on me?! Well, I will put up with a lot of shit but I demand to be treated with that much respect at least. And so I don’t feel so bad about where his life has ended up. I know I did everything I could for him, and he has brought all of this on himself and he deserves every little bit of it.
We sat down after dinner and tried to figure out a way to get the car fixed, but we are stumped. I want to send it to a shop and just let them deal with it and make it work so I don’t have to worry about it anymore, and figure out how to pay for it later. But, as my husband pointed out, we don’t even have the cash to have it towed to the shop and if we don’t know how much it’s going to cost, it could be months before we have enough money to get my car back. Besides, he says he’s pretty sure it’s a problem with the starter, and if we can get it home he can diagnose the issue and we may even be able to take care of it ourselves. Of course that does nothing about the engine misfiring and the unburned gasoline that is spewing out of my exhaust, and it would be a hell of a lot more expensive to get it towed all the way home than it would be to get it a few blocks down the road. So we left it at that and we will think about it and talk some more tonight. Otherwise we would get frustrated and argue about it, and I don’t like to fight.
Then my stepdaughter’s mother called him, which is also pretty rare. She was actually being nice instead of screaming obscenities for no apparent reason, which is really just scary. That means she’s figured out a brand new way to make our lives hell. And she tried to get my husband to buy pot from her over the phone, which means she was probably recording the conversation. Obviously he told her he doesn’t do that anymore. That woman’s stupidity never ceases to amaze me. She told him that she is going to sue Wal-Mart for firing her for screaming at a customer. No joke. She also asked him to find a lawyer for her because “you’re the only person I know that’s smart enough to do that stuff”. She’s always devoted herself to making it very difficult for us to see my stepdaughter. Last Christmas she told us that we could have her for Christmas Eve, and my husband confirmed it twice over the phone that day that he would pick her up at 6pm. Then when he called to let her know we were on our way, she didn’t answer her phone. Then we piled into the car and made the hour long trip to her house, and she didn’t answer the door. And she refused to answer her phone or call us back for the rest of the month. That is the cruelest, most horrible thing I can think of someone doing on Christmas Eve, and I’m sure she was very proud of herself for coming up with that one. We didn’t even try this year. We learned our lesson.
So this morning I talked him into letting me drop him off at work, but I had to ask my boss to let me leave at 3pm today and tomorrow. He doesn’t want to sit in the cold at his job site for 2 hours waiting for me to get there. I think he’s acting like a baby. Take a blanket and a book and suck it up, for God’s sake! Of course I didn’t say that, that would be too mean. And I can’t leave early next week because my boss is on vacation and I have to be here to cover the phones, so we have to get the transportation issues resolved over the weekend. Luckily, my dad just offered to call in a favor from a friend with a tow truck, but he won’t tow it farther than his house. He also offered use of his garage over the weekend, which was very generous. I have to run it by my husband first, but that sounds like it would be a good solution. Now all I have to do is figure out a way to get money for parts.