Public Service Announcement:

or; for your own protection.

from JoeUser Forums
Message to the world:

If you motherf***ers don't put down your cellphones when you're trying to be helped by people in the service industry – i.e. fast food, checkout lines at the grocery store, and especially AT MY F****ING LINE AT THE BANK you will wish you had.

I'm going to punch the side of your head, right where you're holding the cellphone up, cracking your skull and shattering the damnable little talkbox into a thousand little pieces.

Then I'm going to take the small shards of the broken phone and shove them into your eyes, which I will pry open with my letter openers, slicing through the thin flesh of your eyelids and causing irreparable damage to them. I'll laugh as the sharp plastic parts cut through the lens and the vitreous starts oozing out.

Then I'm going to bend you over, take the larger parts of the phone, and forcibly sodomize you with them, until your sorry a**hole is a bleeding, gaping maw.

Have a nice day, motherf***ers. I hope you all die while you're driving with your cellphones glued to the sides of your stupid faces.

There is NO WAY for you to justify this type of behavior, and there is NO REASON for you to even try, retards.

You're the refuse of humanity, and you have no shred of human decency. Put your f***ing phones down and START LIVING.
misc
9,433 views 14 replies
Sins of a Solar Empire II
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Yay for toothpaste for dinner! :D
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
It is irritating isn't it?! !
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top

Jesus...

I guess I'd get pissed to if someone didn't have the time to shut the hell up for a couple minutes when they're trying to do something.  They act like the cellphone feeds their lifeforce and if they stop talking they'll die.  It's totally annoying.

The thing that bugs me is when someone says, "Hey!" really loud then you turn around and they're on the fucking phone.  Then you're like halfway through a greeting and you feel like an idiot.

~Zoo

Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hmm, anger management classes, anyone?

But seriously, what is even worse are blue-tooth headset users. Not only do they look like b-grade science fiction movie extras but their animated conversations confuse the heck out of everyone around them. Recently, I was on a bus going home. I was sort of day-dreaming, not paying much attention to anything, you know, in the zombie-public transport mode. Someone sat down behind me and started having a conversation, a loud conversation. I didn't take much notice of it but was amazed at how loudly this person was discussing private matters in a very public situation. I assumed this person was talking on a blue tooth device as I couldn't see a phone and their head was turned away from me.

It wasn't until I got off the bus I realised the person in question didn't have a phone at all but was a poor unfortunate who was a kangaroo short in the top paddock. But he could have very well been a blue-tooth user.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top

Interesting.  I was thinking of writing an article very similar to this.  The thought came to me yesterday as I was in line at good old WalMart and the line was being held up by a self-centered, self-absorbed piece of white trash who couldn't be bothered to hang up her cell phone for the 2 minutes necessary to complete her checkout.

Instead, she stood there, oblivious to anything else, inlcuding the cashier who was patiently trying to get her to use the credit card terminal, sign her reciept and actually get her butt out of the line.

But you put is just so much more, ehm, pointedly, that I think I will just add an "I agree".

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Would you like Shards with that?

Would you like the supersized shards?

Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
Unfortunately, just as man's appendix has shrunk due to a different diet than grass, it has been proven that the human body adapts over time. I foresee a time in the future when we shall be born with an inbuilt mobile phone--an ugly appendage connected to the right ear. We shall not need hands to hold it or crick our necks--it will be there from birth.

More seriously, what do people say to one another that this horrible little thing must be glued to the ear for hours on end. There is not a girl in Cairo who does not walk, shop, drive or eat without this constant jabber into a telephone.The mind boggles.

I hate the things and don't use one. Their ringing irritates me and they interrupt every social occasion, meeting and church attendance. They are probably being buried with the dear departed in their coffins just in case a call comes through with an hour of jabbering trash that may just re-start a dead heart! Or, to add a more macabre twist, little Lucy could phone in daily just to make sure Daddy really has passed away.

I must be feeling sardonic this evening but I really do detest mobiles.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
a poor unfortunate who was a kangaroo short in the top paddock
End of quote


I love this. :D

~Zoo
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
I love this.


Okay, then you can use it whenever you like.

Just so you know, I have and regularly use a mobile phone. I use it mainly for work and for as a contact for my band. But I don't take it shopping with me, nor to the movies or anywhere else where it might go off and annoy others. I think there are some people who use them as a way of giving themselves a feeling of importance in their otherwise unimportant lives.

Pretty sad, really.
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hi San C! long time no habla! I totally agree with this article, super annoying. I've never been on the worker end of that, but it must be really annoying.
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
Merry Christmas, Sanchonino!