Did you ever know it was wrong

and do it anyway?

from JoeUser Forums
I am the deepest sort of fear in you
I am the breath of lust
I find you in your darkest place
I tell you I am trust.

You've told me once to leave you be;
to let you rest tonight.
But how could I just let you live
in peace without a fight?

I see you cry in bed alone
For that ONE you hold so dear.
I see you love Him more than life
but not more than your fear.

I am that of which you long
when He is far away
You know, with just a gentle touch
I can cause your faith to sway.

But now, I shouldn't be so cruel
I'll let you be alone.
I know that time will do the trick
You'll wreck this on your own.
misc
11,536 views 10 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Drips with melancholy.

Me likey. It scans rather well; my only complaint is the rhyming of "fight" with "fight" in the second stanza, but what can I say? I'm a picky poet.

I haven't gotten around to commenting on all your poetry, secondchances, but I like what I see. Keep them coming.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm a picky poet.


Heh, so am I at times.


Have to agree with SanCho on the melancholy. Also, I feel a bit of scathing bitterness in there.

Not bad, not bad at all.

~Zoo
Object Desktop - Get all of our enhancement utilities in one suite
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
YAY ME! Thank you guys!!! SanChonino~I haven't read any of your stuff either yet...I guess that's what I'll do NOW! And Zoo~you make for a very faithful friend.
LOVE LOVE LOVE
S.C.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hey secondchances, I'd love to get your feedback on the last poem I wrote. It's right here. Let me know what you think.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Its never to late...I do miss you...I to also left


Hey! Wadda ya know?!!! You DO listen to me sometimes...
I miss you too.
S.C.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Alot and then at the same time nothing at all i guess. It/s hard to explain, but I might find a way in words that my mind can't quite form yet.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Alot and then at the same time nothing at all i guess. It/s hard to explain, but I might find a way in words that my mind can't quite form yet


You will have to tell me one day
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
the rhyming of "fight" with "fight" in the second stanza, but what can I say? I'm a picky poet.
Have a reading problem there's only one fight.