The Things We Think About
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
Again asleep at eight o'clock or so; again awake at five thirty. I woke once during the night, checked my watch, it read 11:30 PM. I do not recall a dream. Sometimes my dreams are quite vivid. Sometimes I cannot quite discern whether I am awake or dreaming I am asleep. Its all so confusing in its clarity.
Life is like that. We think we are clear about something and there it is, confusion. I am clear I do not want to harm, yet there are times when my impulse is to do just that. I note this impulse. I let it float away. I ask my self to embrace the one I want to strangle. I embrace myself. Hugs all around.
Good for compassion! Yet, if I am so compassionate, whence the impulse to harm?
Zazen allows us to begin to see where these things come from. A practice of witnessing oneself facing oneself over time is like looking into a mirror without flinching for an extended period of time. We notice lines, wrinkles, spots. We notice changes. After awhile, we notice how this feeling is preceded by that thought, and this thought is coupled with that impulse.
In my case, I see a need to be recognized, a need to be well thought of, and a need to care and protect. I understand where these come from, yet, whenever these needs are challenged, not so caring thoughts arise. I recall reading a headline about several beheadings in Afghanistan by the Taliban. And another about the execution in South Dakota of a man convicted of torturing and killing a teen. Such horrible things. My impulse out of caring for the victims was to wish harm to the perpetrators. Yet, in truth, even perpetrators are victims acting out their own pain.
So, with a moment of reflection, I offer a silent prayer for them and try to extend it to envelop the entire world of suffering beings. Frankly, this is a beginning, but no where near enough.
We must begin to discover the seeds and roots of our own societal suffering. We must address this suffering with great care and compassion. Far too many suffering people act out their suffering by lashing out and torturing others. And I am not only speaking about the gross forms, but the subtle ones as well.
There is a precept we Zen Buddhists take, "I vow not to elevate myself by slandering others." This precept addresses our fairly common mechanism to make ourselves feel good by making others look bad. Its a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) violence.
This is a tough one to follow and I break it daily. Yet each time, I try to be aware and see the causes, move myself closer and closer to not violating this precept again. My sense is that when I no longer have a "self" there will be no need to elevate, no suffering ensues. One way to begin to get there is to live our lives with others in mind. This is the goal of our practice.
Be well.
Good Morning Everyone,
Again asleep at eight o'clock or so; again awake at five thirty. I woke once during the night, checked my watch, it read 11:30 PM. I do not recall a dream. Sometimes my dreams are quite vivid. Sometimes I cannot quite discern whether I am awake or dreaming I am asleep. Its all so confusing in its clarity.
Life is like that. We think we are clear about something and there it is, confusion. I am clear I do not want to harm, yet there are times when my impulse is to do just that. I note this impulse. I let it float away. I ask my self to embrace the one I want to strangle. I embrace myself. Hugs all around.
Good for compassion! Yet, if I am so compassionate, whence the impulse to harm?
Zazen allows us to begin to see where these things come from. A practice of witnessing oneself facing oneself over time is like looking into a mirror without flinching for an extended period of time. We notice lines, wrinkles, spots. We notice changes. After awhile, we notice how this feeling is preceded by that thought, and this thought is coupled with that impulse.
In my case, I see a need to be recognized, a need to be well thought of, and a need to care and protect. I understand where these come from, yet, whenever these needs are challenged, not so caring thoughts arise. I recall reading a headline about several beheadings in Afghanistan by the Taliban. And another about the execution in South Dakota of a man convicted of torturing and killing a teen. Such horrible things. My impulse out of caring for the victims was to wish harm to the perpetrators. Yet, in truth, even perpetrators are victims acting out their own pain.
So, with a moment of reflection, I offer a silent prayer for them and try to extend it to envelop the entire world of suffering beings. Frankly, this is a beginning, but no where near enough.
We must begin to discover the seeds and roots of our own societal suffering. We must address this suffering with great care and compassion. Far too many suffering people act out their suffering by lashing out and torturing others. And I am not only speaking about the gross forms, but the subtle ones as well.
There is a precept we Zen Buddhists take, "I vow not to elevate myself by slandering others." This precept addresses our fairly common mechanism to make ourselves feel good by making others look bad. Its a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) violence.
This is a tough one to follow and I break it daily. Yet each time, I try to be aware and see the causes, move myself closer and closer to not violating this precept again. My sense is that when I no longer have a "self" there will be no need to elevate, no suffering ensues. One way to begin to get there is to live our lives with others in mind. This is the goal of our practice.
Be well.