Haunting questions

...or....emails wot you get...

from WinCustomize Forums
QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME ????
 
 
 
Can you cry under water?
 
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
 
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
 
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
 
 
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
 
 
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
 
 
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
 

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
 
 
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
 
 
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
 
 
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
 
 
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
 
 
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
 
 
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
 
 
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
 
 
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
 
 
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
 
 
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
 
 
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
 
 
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
 
 
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
 
 
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
 
 
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
 
 
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
3,259 views 10 replies
Reply #1 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Very insightful questions that you present to the forum Jafo.       

Unfortunately I find that I need to ask you one question before I delve into the task of reviewing and answering yours. [B]Did you have a slow day today[/B

Since you didn't number the questions the answers are:

For questions requiring a yes or no answer; yes

For questions needing a more detailed answer; because

For question where the first two answers don't work, You know I never thought
about that. (use to dirve my father crazy)

              
Reply #2 from WinCustomize Forums Top

I enjoyed the questions Jafo and I like your answers Philly0381.

CursorFX - Customize your Windows cursor
Reply #3 from WinCustomize Forums Top

  

..Got me on the alphabet song one ...I was happily humming away, when I read the next question ...

Reply #4 from WinCustomize Forums Top
I fell for the songs too.
I often wondered why doctors leave myself.
I took a couple of my PupSnoots to MickyD's yesterday to treat them to a burger and both of them had thier heads out the window...tongues waving in the breeze.  
Reply #5 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Yes. It's the 'sniffling' that's a bitch.

One step above Hollywood movie star.

Jerry's Kids?

Yes. That's why I'm going in a zebra skin g-string. My wife won't let me wear one here.

It's symbolic of Christopher Columbus' insistence that the world was round and not flat. And there both Italian. Chris and the pizza. I have no idea who invented the box.

Swine Flu.

The needed them for the moon rover?

I believe they are referring to thumb sucking and bed wetting. I try hard to avoid those people.

WHAT?

Because, the penguin's ON the telly. He's not IN the movie.

They wanna see who they are about to spit on.

They prefer to watch on camera and make jokes with the rest of the staff when you go to put on that stupid paper gown and can't figure the damn thing out.

Because Otto Titzling, who was the original inventor, refused to give up the rights to his name.

Even Paris Hilton should be allowed toast with her eggs.

Really. Who needs another bad rap song about a crack head?

Only if the corpse is a vampire, zombie, succubus, or a necrophiliac.

Three words. Ginger and Maryanne.

Goofy is the Dom. Pluto is the Sub.

They were in Arizona. The roadrunner is the Arizona state bird. It would have been illegal.

Their drool. Now if I can just find a buyer. I've been saving my daughters in old mayonnaise jars for four months. I'll be RICH!

Ask Don Imus.

Because I believe in morality.

They were trying to prevent confusion and didn't want there to be any 'buts' about it.

Yes. I KNOW. I KNOW already. I have mouthwash on my shopping list.

Because you said you liked bangers and asked me if I had ever been 'down under'. I thought you were hitting on me.


















Reply #6 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Ahhh got caught humming the songs ....good one Jafo

@ Philly & PO'

It's My Secret
Reply #7 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?


maybe they only wanted to 'spend a penny'......  
Reply #8 from WinCustomize Forums Top
A haunting question that's plagued me all my life: where does my lap go when I stand up?


It's like once you've stood up, you can't invite anyone to sit on it....so where the *#*# does it go?
Reply #9 from WinCustomize Forums Top
this needs an experiment....stick your head in the tub and think about your mother-in-law spending the night on your anniversary

It's not the dead guy...it's what clothes the killer was wearing when 'e committed the act

It's only a penny...Three bucks and nine pennies later and you could buy a gallon of gas

with handy little slits cut into the back fer yer wings

corners provide a handy place to throw those nasty anchovies

cranial rectosis

moon shot was faked in a studio in Southern Alabama

actually, it's not the quantity but the quality we're concerned with here

In this case, the term is switched to a proceeding

unanswerable, never been in a movie, was on a TV once, but fell off and cracked me noggin

For the same reason people pay to eat junk food at the fair and then pay even more to climb on the "guaranteed to hurl" coaster

Little know fact, One of the qualifications of maintaining a 4.0 in Medical School is an extreme allergy to underwear

has more to do with the number of tries to remove it in the back seat of a car that what they actually support

so the one device can double as a laminator

The aforementioned corn was "squeezed" and all present imbibed, that's why no one cares

As long as the entire funeral procession doesn't make the same lane change...

c'mon! it's Gilligan's Island...not McGyver's Island

Canine Erectus

What? and give up Show Business?

Extracted from the Pituitary Gland of that chick from Dirty Dancing

I don't do Morality Questions

Yes

Yes

It's Latin ((IE Semi(Half)+Arse(Old English Posterior)=Seminar)

If you try this, and it proves true...consider tic tacs, or maybe some gum

I distinctly remember NOT giving you my e-mail address!
Reply #10 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Bandit, I love your answers...
and you gave the questions way too much thought!  


... and yes, my little kids have confirmed that those songs do indeed sound the same.

Actually another discovery, my daughter can recite the alphabet in english & french (she's in kindergarten french immersion, lot's of homework in the class - seriously; it's like I'm going to school all over again) and she says that it also sounds that way in french too - go figure!

My son (who is not in school yet) can sing twinkle, twinkle little star and although he doesn't know the entire abc song yet, his "L-M-N-O-P" song sounds pretty similar to the twinkle little star song as well.