broken heart
it is my fault
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
see i totally feel in love with this really great guy, sean. now he knows that i like him, just not how much that i like him. not that it would really matter anyways. but he likes this girl named kristen.which is funny cuz we both have the same name, ironic i think so. who the more that i try to hate the more i end up liking her. but she plays head games with him and now he found out that he still likes her. mostly because of me. i told him to figure out how he felt bout her. well he did, just not what i wanted him to find out. i said that tonight should be a little date for them and i wanted to hear him say no. i wanted to hear him say i dont think so, but no. so they start messing around a lot and then he is wondering why i am looking at him wierd. huh? i wonder. so then he says that it is my fault and that i was the one trying saying that it should be a date for the both of them. yeah well that is not what i wanted to hear. see the last time that he got his heart broken i had to put him back together. how the hell am i suppost to put him back together when i cant even put myself together. how am i suppost to just put my feelings aside and think of how to just get over it. so he asked me why i was so mad and i told him that i did not want to see him get hurt. which i sorta true. in my selfish ways i dont want to see them get together, but mostly i guess if he is happy then i can be. ill just have to deal with the fact that it is not me. so he totally got broken last time and now he is thinking bout it more. and i just got used to having him around again. see the first time that they were starting to get together, she went freakin every where with him. you could not get the boy alone with out her. and then it was me who was sorta like that. now she came back and he is just gonna drop me and go with her. i dont know how much more heartache i can take. i can only take so much. so i told him to talk to her, not to fall in love with her. so i guess that it is my fault and i deserve what i get. its funny how i know that i told him to do the right thing. i know i did. and iam being totally selfish. but i cant help it. i expected a different answer. and i half expect him to walk to my door and knock but he is still with her right now. what is the matter with me. why do i hold onto the hope of something that i knew was never gonna happen. i am not good enough for him. the more i get to know him the more i realize that i am not good enough. its not like i am a bad person or anything but i have come to the conclusion that i am not good enough. but really who decided if the person is good for them or not. should the person who is talkin about themselfs get to decide. or the person who is acually doing the deciding, like in this case, sean
its wierd how i cant see past my own heart and see the big picture and now i am totally replaced. i know we will still be friends and all. but not like we used to be because i cant stop thinking past my heart which now i can see through it. litterally, its broken in half. but it is my fault i held onto something that was never gonna happen to begin with and that was my bad.
how can someone love someone so much and the person not return the feeling. is it all my fault?
its wierd how i cant see past my own heart and see the big picture and now i am totally replaced. i know we will still be friends and all. but not like we used to be because i cant stop thinking past my heart which now i can see through it. litterally, its broken in half. but it is my fault i held onto something that was never gonna happen to begin with and that was my bad.
how can someone love someone so much and the person not return the feeling. is it all my fault?