Never Jump to Conclusions

*Edit*

Kind of wierd, replied to a completely different thread and was bounced here...Erased..

  

talk about getting pissed

[jumps for the mouthwash!]

Perhaps a nice cup of Tasmanian java would be preferable...?

So long as it's not a conclusion you should be right.



Yep, 'tis a rich and very tasty blend at that....goes great with a nice piece of cake.


Which reminds me of another conclusion......

A football fanatic husband was in front of the TV watching his team score when his wife asked him to fix a broken light bulb.

"Hello, do I have electrician written across my forehead?"

A little later the fridge door wouldn't close properly and she asked him to take a look at it.

Helloooo, do I have Frigidaire written across my forehead?"

Then a hose came off the washing machine and flooded the laundry, so she asked if he would fix it.

Helloooo, have I got Westinghouse written across my forehead?"

Next day when he returns home from work, he notices the light bulb, fridge and washing machine had been fixed, so asked her how come.....

"Well" she said: "I was on the front step crying when a nice young man asked what was wrong, and when I told him he offered to fix them if I made him a cake or made wild passionate love to him."


So what sort of cake did you make him?" he asked.


Hellooooo, Do you see Sara Lee written across my forehead?"

Don't mess with the puppy.

awesome Jafo i love this one

Hey Jafo, just as well it wasn't a cat inside the box....otherwise the teacher would've been convinced it was Pommie beer, dontcha think.

Who's she?

Just kidding...used to consume a whole package of her frozen brownies immediately after school now and then.

This tale may be even better than the first one. More, please.

As if ya gonna get away with that

That's just the stuff we give to those who couldn't give a 4X about anything else. Everyone else is round the back drinking the good stuff ......

Okay, you asked for it......

The 54 yo husband concluded his normally passive wife would cop it sweet and be waiting for him as usual when he got home. The note read.....

"Dear wife, by the time you read this I will have left on a business trip to Bermuda with my 18 yo secretary, see you when I get back."


Sick and tired of his errant ways, she contacted the hotel he would be staying at and instructed the desk clerk to give him a note upon arrival. It read.....

"Dear husband, by the time you read this I will have left for Hawaii with my handsome and virile 18 yo lover. Oh, and as an accountant, you will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more often than 54 goes into 18."

Tried that stuff too, but the publican still reckoned it wasn't up to par with the stuff exported to Oz......and we still don't like it.

Truth be known, in my guzzling days, I happily downed many a pint of Pommie beer and enjoyed each & every one of them. My only complaint: when it came to 'time gentlemen please' and I tuppence short for another.

hehe, yeh - I remember guzzling was a great leveller of the amber nectar.....

Still, now I'm reduced to the gentle pleasures of a nice cuppa tea, I'll reach for the biscuits and await another cracking joke.

[all of the above]