The Ostrich Factor.

What is it about hormones men find so distasteful?

from JoeUser Forums

You know, I love my husband.  He's an awesome guy, and a great dad.

He does one thing, however, that I simply don't understand, and it's starting to irritate the heck out of me.

Our daughter is in the first throes of puberty.  Because Dave's away, he doesn't see the physical and emotional changes that are happening with her.  I try to tell him about it, and his standard response is:

"I don't want to hear anymore, thanks"

Like an ostrich sticking it's head in the sand, Dave doesn't "want to hear anymore".  "Why?"  I ask.

"Because I know what's going on and I just don't want to talk about it" is all he'll say.

What is it about hormones and women men have such a hard time with?  Why don't they like to talk about it?  I mean, I understand that Shea is his child and that he might, as a father, feel a little uncomfortable discussing subjects such as menstruation and sex with her...but to refuse to discuss it at all, with me, her mother?  I'm perfectly comfortable talking to the boys about growing up and puberty...I simply don't understand why he won't talk to ME about it.

 

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8,377 views 24 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
i know what you mean....i too have a preteen and she is going thru all the things you speak of in your articles,and i too
dont like to talk about them with my wife.......all i can say is it makes me feel uncomfortable talking about my child or any child
for that matter when it comes to those subjects.........
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top

Thanks, Marc.  It makes me feel better to know that it's not just my husband. 

Maybe I'll cut him a little slack now.

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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

yeah... slack... good... i know I wouldn't want to hear about that stuff either... it's bad enough that those same 'hormones' are likely to increase the number of horny boys hanging around the house... Dave's gonna have to make sure the shotgun is clean and oiled when he gets back. 

funny how dad doesn't want to hear about these hormones, but young boys certainly have no problem with 'em...

 

 

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top

funny how dad doesn't want to hear about these hormones, but young boys certainly have no problem with 'em...

Aha! MJ triggers an epiphany!  Perhaps that's why he doesn't want to talk about it...because he remembers how he was as a horny young teenager and knows how boys are going to start looking at her...hmm...very interesting.  Thanks, MJ!

Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
My Dad just wanted to ignore the fact that my sister and I were growing up. He totally freaked when he caught me wearing makeup at a football game once.  I do think part of it is like you guys said, the dads remember what they were thinking at that age.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top

Get an NRA sticker and put it on your window.  Always have National Rifleman magazines on the coffee table.  Have your husband proudly display all hs military stuff.  Have a "never mind the dog- beware of the owner" sign on the door.  Wear a "kill them all and let God sort them out" T-shirt when the "boyfriends" come over.  They'll get the hint. 

I had a lot of male friends in high school.  One day, one of them brought their friend over who was visiting from Detroit.  He just sat and stared at the Rifle Magazines that were all over the living room.  Then, he said, "Damn, those guys in Detroit have guns, but *these* guys know how to aim!"  It was one of the funniest things I ever heard.

Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

All his (and my) stuff is on display...his plaque with the bayonet on it, his detective credentials, his marksman trophy..we both wear Glock sport shooting T shirts, have framed photos of us shooting around the house...very intimidating stuff. 

Shea's boyfriends (or potential boyfriends) aren't going to know what hit them.

Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
My Dad's exactly the same, they don't like to think their little girls are growing up! My Dad barely grunts at boys I bring home, it's really intimidating and I think he likes to see them squirm! These comments are right though, he probably knows how these teenage boys minds are going to work, and thats not really a good thing!
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top

Our kids are going to be very unhappy teenagers...dad's a cop, mom's a PI, and between the 2 of us we've either done it, got caught doing it, or have busted someone else doing it. I also know how to lift prints (have my own kit) and take bite impressions (busted a kid last easter for taking a bite out of a chocolate egg using that method)...so if we can't interrogate it out of them or catch them doing it we'll have the physical evidence to fall back on.

We keep telling them that they're going to have to get up very early in the morning to pull a fast one on either of us.

Man, I feel sorry for my kids....

Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
Man, I feel sorry for my kids....


I do too!

They can always come to Aunt Shades house when they want to be mischevious. I'll be the fun aunt!
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top

They can always come to Aunt Shades house when they want to be mischevious. I'll be the fun aunt!


Cool! They'll love that!

Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hi Dharma! Nice article. It covers... aah um, what I mean to say is It made me think about the... uhm the uhm, well..............................gotta go, can't really get into it, no time you see....uhhmmm Well anyway nice article! Difficult topic, though....
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hahaha! ROFLMAO at Corio!
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hahaha! ROFL @ Corio!
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top

UPDATE:

I told Dave that I had blogged about this...and aksed him why he didn't want to talk to me about it.  I put forth the arguments and opinions given here..his response?

"It's none of that.  I just don't want to talk about it."

ARRRGGGGHHH!!!!

Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
Ooooooooh, that waskily wabbit!  I hate answers like "you just wouldn't understand" or "nevermind".  You can't even beat it out of him because he isn't there!
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
Dharma,

I am afraid to have a daughter just because i will have to deal with said issues.

Male single parents have my eternal respect for that very reason!!!

just deal with it woman!!!

BAM!!!
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top

just deal with it woman!!!


I AM dealing with it, I HAVE to deal with it. 


Muggaz, I think that you're going to have 3 or 4 little girls, and thay're going to give you a hell of a time when they get older...because they're going to be just like you!

Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top

Jill, you're exactly right.  I have tried every interview technique I know to try and get it out of him, and it's not working.  The thing is, he's more experienced at interviews and interrogations than I, so recognizes my clumsy attempts to get him to answer and utilizes diversion tactics.


That's ok; he'll be home in 12 weeks (yay!!!!!!) and he can deal with it face to face then. 

Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hey, Dave, welcome aboard!  Sorry my friend, you do need to know.  You helped create this monster, you have to help domesticate it   I am sure Dharma didn't sign on to be a single parent so buck up and rise to the occasion.  It isn't as bad as you are thinking.
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top

Dave gave himself away....

I love you, ad infinitum baby.

Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top
It's the opposite here. I had all the talks with my daughter about femine hygiene, birth control, boys are scum, etc. My wife didn't seem to want to handle it
I think she got that from her mother. Their family just doesn't talk about things like that. "Leave it to the schools" I heard my MIL say once.
Some fathers just can't handle things like that. Some mothers can't either. Maybe it's because they were raised that way, who knows.
Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top

Maybe it's because they were raised that way, who knows.


I think that may be a factor here.  Dave wasn't raised to talk about feelings or issues, and he's not a 'touchy feely' kinda guy.  I think that has a lot to do with his refusal to talk about stuff.