New Years Resolutions
or; the crap I'm gonna do better this year
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
Well, since it seems to be all the rage to write a “resolutions” blog this time of year, I said to myself, Self? You's a pretty decent chap, you oughts to make-a yourself a list o' them so-called resolutions . . . just for gicks and kiggles. Consequently, myself answered back, Well, there, you, that's quite the idear . . . you should DO it!
So I did.
Without further ado . . . or adieu . . . or poo-hoos . . . here's-a my list.
1.Play music at a higher level, thereby annoying those in the cars around me, all in the name of spreading decent music. Bust those eardrums. Just bust 'em.
2.When in doubt, call, name, or refer to anything or anyone unknown as “Jorge”. Or “Jorge Manrique”, if the longer name seems appropriate.
3.Tell the lion to shut the hell up every Tuesday morning. Some of us are trying to sleep.
4.Be more irascible . . . girls in the movies seem to be attracted to the mean ones, right?
5.Throw things more often when upset. Preferably at someone's head.
6.A book isn't a book until it's been broken in. Break in all the books in the house.
7.Call everyone names, whether they're on the “I like 'em” list, the “I tolerate 'em” list, the “deporable” list, or the “man, you really, REALLY suck” list.
8.Learn to be all the more annoying and unfriendly as ever.
What are your resolutions? To be nice? Friendly? Bo-RING. I like to live a little more than that.
So I did.
Without further ado . . . or adieu . . . or poo-hoos . . . here's-a my list.
1.Play music at a higher level, thereby annoying those in the cars around me, all in the name of spreading decent music. Bust those eardrums. Just bust 'em.
2.When in doubt, call, name, or refer to anything or anyone unknown as “Jorge”. Or “Jorge Manrique”, if the longer name seems appropriate.
3.Tell the lion to shut the hell up every Tuesday morning. Some of us are trying to sleep.
4.Be more irascible . . . girls in the movies seem to be attracted to the mean ones, right?
5.Throw things more often when upset. Preferably at someone's head.
6.A book isn't a book until it's been broken in. Break in all the books in the house.
7.Call everyone names, whether they're on the “I like 'em” list, the “I tolerate 'em” list, the “deporable” list, or the “man, you really, REALLY suck” list.
8.Learn to be all the more annoying and unfriendly as ever.
What are your resolutions? To be nice? Friendly? Bo-RING. I like to live a little more than that.
