The Purpose Driven Life, Chapter Twenty One
Protecting Your Church
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It is your job to protect the unity of your church. Unity is the soul of fellowship. Destroy it, and you rip the heart out of Christ's Body. It is the essence, the core, of how God intended for us to experience life together in His church.
If you are a part of God's family, it is your responsibility to protect the unity where you fellowship.
FOCUS ON WHAT WE HAVE IN COMMON, NOT OUR DIFFERENCES
As believers, we share one Lord, one body, one purpose, one Father, one Spirit, one hope, one faith, one baptism and one love. We share the same salvation, the same life and the same future.
We must remember it was God who chose to give us different personalities, backgrounds, races and preferences, so we should value and enjoy those differences, not merely tolerate them. We must never let differences divide us. We must stay focused on what matters most--learning to love each other as Christ loved us.
BE REALISTIC IN YOUR EXPECTATIONS
We must passionately love the church in spite of its imperfections. Longing for the ideal while criticizing the real is evidence of immaturity. On the other hand, settling for the real without striving for the ideal is complacency. Maturity is living with the tension.
Other believers will disappoint you and let you down, but that's no excuse to stop fellowshipping with them. They are your family, even when they don't act like it, and you can't just walk out on them.
We must remember that the church is made up of real sinners, including ourselves. Because we're sinners, we hurt each other, sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally. But instead of leaving the church, we need to stay and work it out if at all possible. Reconciliation, not running away, is the road to stronger character and deeper fellowship.
There is no perfect church to escape to. Every church has its own set of weaknesses and problems. You'll soon be disappointed again.
Disillusionment with our local church is a good thing because it destroys our false expectations of perfection. The sooner we give up the illusion that a church must be perfect in order to love it, the sooner we quit pretending and start admitting we're all imperfect and need grace.
CHOOSE TO ENCOURAGE RATHER THAN CRITICIZE
When you criticize what another believer is doing in faith and from sincere conviction, you are interfering with God's business. We must not stand in judgment or look down on other believers whose convictions differ from our own.
Whenever I judge another, four things instantly happen: I lose fellowship with God, I expose my own pride and insecurity, I set myself up to be judged by God, and I harm the fellowship of the church. A critical spirit is a costly vice.
REFUSE TO LISTEN TO GOSSIP
Gossip is passing on information when you are neither part of the problem nor part of the solution. You know spreading gossip is wrong, but you should not listen to it, either, if you want to protect your church. Listening to gossip is like accepting stolen property, and it makes you just as guilty of the crime.
When someone starts to gossip to you, have the courage to say "Please stop. I don't need to know this. Have you talked directly to that person?"
The fastest way to end a church or small group conflict is to lovingly confront those who are gossiping annd insist they stop it.
PRACTICE GOD'S METHOD FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION
During conflict, it is tempting to complain to a third party rather than courageously speak the truth in love to the person you're upset with. This makes the matter worse. Instead, you should go directly to the person involved.
If you're unable to work things out between the two of you, the next step is to take one or two witnesses to help confirm the problem and reconcile the relationship. What should you do if the person is still stuck in stubbornness? Jesus says to take it to the church. If the person still refuses to listen after that, you should treat that person like an unbeliever.
SUPPORT YOUR PASTOR AND LEADERS
There are no perfect leaders, but God gives leaders the responsibility and the authority to maintain the unity of the church. Pastors will one day stand before God and give an account of how well they watched over you. But you are accountable, too. You will give an account to God of how well you followed your leaders.
We protect the fellowship when we honor those who serve us by leading. Pastors and elders need our prayers, encouragement, appreciation and love.
If you are a part of God's family, it is your responsibility to protect the unity where you fellowship.
FOCUS ON WHAT WE HAVE IN COMMON, NOT OUR DIFFERENCES
As believers, we share one Lord, one body, one purpose, one Father, one Spirit, one hope, one faith, one baptism and one love. We share the same salvation, the same life and the same future.
We must remember it was God who chose to give us different personalities, backgrounds, races and preferences, so we should value and enjoy those differences, not merely tolerate them. We must never let differences divide us. We must stay focused on what matters most--learning to love each other as Christ loved us.
BE REALISTIC IN YOUR EXPECTATIONS
We must passionately love the church in spite of its imperfections. Longing for the ideal while criticizing the real is evidence of immaturity. On the other hand, settling for the real without striving for the ideal is complacency. Maturity is living with the tension.
Other believers will disappoint you and let you down, but that's no excuse to stop fellowshipping with them. They are your family, even when they don't act like it, and you can't just walk out on them.
We must remember that the church is made up of real sinners, including ourselves. Because we're sinners, we hurt each other, sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally. But instead of leaving the church, we need to stay and work it out if at all possible. Reconciliation, not running away, is the road to stronger character and deeper fellowship.
There is no perfect church to escape to. Every church has its own set of weaknesses and problems. You'll soon be disappointed again.
Disillusionment with our local church is a good thing because it destroys our false expectations of perfection. The sooner we give up the illusion that a church must be perfect in order to love it, the sooner we quit pretending and start admitting we're all imperfect and need grace.
CHOOSE TO ENCOURAGE RATHER THAN CRITICIZE
When you criticize what another believer is doing in faith and from sincere conviction, you are interfering with God's business. We must not stand in judgment or look down on other believers whose convictions differ from our own.
Whenever I judge another, four things instantly happen: I lose fellowship with God, I expose my own pride and insecurity, I set myself up to be judged by God, and I harm the fellowship of the church. A critical spirit is a costly vice.
REFUSE TO LISTEN TO GOSSIP
Gossip is passing on information when you are neither part of the problem nor part of the solution. You know spreading gossip is wrong, but you should not listen to it, either, if you want to protect your church. Listening to gossip is like accepting stolen property, and it makes you just as guilty of the crime.
When someone starts to gossip to you, have the courage to say "Please stop. I don't need to know this. Have you talked directly to that person?"
The fastest way to end a church or small group conflict is to lovingly confront those who are gossiping annd insist they stop it.
PRACTICE GOD'S METHOD FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION
During conflict, it is tempting to complain to a third party rather than courageously speak the truth in love to the person you're upset with. This makes the matter worse. Instead, you should go directly to the person involved.
If you're unable to work things out between the two of you, the next step is to take one or two witnesses to help confirm the problem and reconcile the relationship. What should you do if the person is still stuck in stubbornness? Jesus says to take it to the church. If the person still refuses to listen after that, you should treat that person like an unbeliever.
SUPPORT YOUR PASTOR AND LEADERS
There are no perfect leaders, but God gives leaders the responsibility and the authority to maintain the unity of the church. Pastors will one day stand before God and give an account of how well they watched over you. But you are accountable, too. You will give an account to God of how well you followed your leaders.
We protect the fellowship when we honor those who serve us by leading. Pastors and elders need our prayers, encouragement, appreciation and love.