You're not very compassionate..

A couple of years ago I wrote this blog about my own personal origins. In various debates on JU I know I come across as a total jerk. And there is a reason for that -- I am a jerk.  I'm not proud of being a jerk, it's just something I've come to realize over the years.  There are worse things than being a jerk though.

But what exactly is a jerk? A jerk, like most epitaphs, is someone who is not conforming to some rule of our society.  As a society, we have an unwritten set of rules of how people are supposed to behave.  I think a lot of people, especially men, are jerks. The difference is that most people have the good grace to at least try not to act like a jerk.

And I do try to not be a jerk most of the time and indeed, I'm not a jerk most of the time. If I'm around people I care about I'm willing to invest the effort to be a better person.  I think many people can relate to that -- more than would care to relate.  I know plenty of men and women that are cranky and impatient but do their best to soldier forth and not bite the heads off people.

But when I deal with strangers, I...just...don't...care. 

Being a jerk isn't about being malicious to strangers. When I play games on-line I never grief. I'll even go out of my way when playing RTSs to make sure the other person is having a good time. Being a jerk doesn't mean I'm not empathic. And I enjoy, for whatever reason, making sure other people, even strangers, have a good time when they're playing a game with me. So I'm not really being nice as a selfless act, I'm not because I like being nice to strangers.  I'm selfish. Self involved.

Being self involved is the essence of being a jerk. Or, I should say, being self involved and not having the good graces to conform to social expectations.

The inner jerk really comes out online.  If someone annoys me on my personal blog, I'll blacklist them.  I see people on JU all the time take holier than thou views about not blacklisting people. To me, those people just seem weak. But whatever. When I'm on my personal blog, it's all about me.  I'll happily debate someone who has very different views. A lot of my good friends are very left-wing and I enjoy their company. It's not about people agreeing with me, it's about having people who can intelligently discuss a subject and show some level of respect.

The older I get and the more I read, the more contempt I have for the average participant in on-line debates.  I understand most people are uninformed on issues and that most people are not very sharp. That's fine. But I have little patience for those same people who then choose to debate on some particular issue, especially politics. Debates on politics require some knowledge on history. And most people who debate politics can't be bothered to read history and that I find incredibly annoying.

And so, as a jerk, I am pretty candid about what I think about people's opinions.  There are a lot of people woh are just plain losers. And nice people don't resort to thinking other people are losers. But the fact is, lots of people are losers. Not most people mind you. If you randomly select someone, odds are you'll find they're a good and decent person. But it seems today we live in a climate in which it is impolite to acknowledge anyone as being a "loser".  To  many people, life is about unearned self-esteem rather than achievement.

Jerks, being self involved, don't tend to have endless compassion for strangers. I certainly don't.  I care not at all for people who don't work. If they're disabled -- truly disabled -- then I support helping them. But other people, no, could care less. They could starve.  Whether that be the third generation welfare mother with 4 out of wedlock children or the 40 year old drunk who can't hold a job.   I don't hold any malice towards these people. I don't want them to starve or be on the streets. No, it's just that I don't care if they are.  The gazelle who runs for its life and still gets killed by the lion I can have compassion for.  The gazelle that just sits there looking at the lion coming at them I don't have compassion for. Natural selection.

I have little patience for class envy either.  Someone being richer than me doesn't hurt me at all. Class envy is a symptom of being a loser. If you are jealous of the possessions other people have, then grow up and get a life and a clue. It's just pathetic when someone sits around moaning about "the rich". It's pretty rare to meet an American who grew up poorer than I did. But I never felt envious of people who had more material things than me. How does their wealth hurt me? Good for them I always felt.

I'm "rich" by any definition of the term but I didn't get there by being ruthless or money grubbing. I got there through the voluntary choices of literally millions of people who exchanged their money for the goods and services I produced.  So when I hear someone say that I should be doing "more" to help those in "need" I tend to have very little compassion.  The reason being that I resent compassion being measured in what PERCENT of my income I hand out rather than the raw total.  But that's a different topic.  The pont is, "rich" people don't become rich in this country at the point of a gun.  And money isn't everything. Too many people get fixated on money and it is ususally to their detriment.

Arrogance is another ingredient of being a jerk. And I'm really arrogant.  But again, the older I get, the more I realize that yea, I really do know a lot more than most people on the topics I participate in. And as a jerk, I just don't have the good grace to be polite or patient with people so I'm arrogant.  That isn't to say that I think I'm particularly intelligent or knowledgeable on all issues. I simply pick and choose what I want to talk about.

Another thing about being an arrogant, uncompassionate, self-involved jerk is that you make conclusions on people and can quickly decide whether what they think matters. And when I say "matters" I mean it in a specific sense (i.e. I believe everyone have the right to speak their opinion so in that sense it matters).

For example, a lot of the equivicators on the war on terror or taxes or whatever topic is being discussed don't matter. Their opinions are worthless. People who don't take a stand or have no firm principles don't matter in the real world. They're either working for the government in some way or they're probably some low level drone somewhere. Not always, but usually (20 years of experience in dealing with these kinds of people talking here). 

Having strong opinions or taking stands on issues or making decisions may not lead to success, but not taking a clear position and not making decisions leads to nowhere.  The world is run by people who make decisions.  You can tell people who don't make decisions because they're the ones who scream out about stereotyping or generalizing. People who make decisions know you have to generalize to get things done (right or wrong). So the instant I see someone screaming about generalizing  I know that that person's opinion is irrelevant and can be discounted.

To conclude this rambling essay. Being a jerk doesn't necessarily involve malice. I can't think of any people here on JU or elsewhere that I "dislike".  Not a single person.

I can't think of anyone or anything in this world that I "hate".  Being a jerk isn't about hating or disliking things. Quite the opposite, it's about apathy for me. I just don't care about things as much as society deems we should care (or more accurately, as much as people are supposed to pretend to care).

I believe the best system is the system in which we help each other by doing what is in our own best interest.  So while I'm not proud that I'm a jerk, I don't think me being a jerk harms anyone and in fact has helped people. I don't spend energy worrying about strangers. I spend energy producing. And by producing, I help people because of the nature of our system.  But I don't really care either way that that is the outcome.