THE REAL REASON BUSH WON'T SAVE DARFUR
Adventures in Republicaning; by johnny pain
from 
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JoeUser Forums
This is an excerpt of Bush talking in the oval office, this morning, as he bounced a pencil on his desk, which he occasionally caught in his teeth and then looked around to make sure everyone was laughing at a joke that only he thought was funny... brown nosers they are, the were...
THE SPEAKING BUSH:
"What was I talking about? Oh, yea, niggers... No offense, Conni.... always gotta say that to my little secretary, cause she is ... well, like I always say, she's better than black, like that general, what's that old tom's name, the tall buck? Oh, yea, Power. What? Powell.... two syllables. I don't trust too many words with two syllables, let alone names... Damn it all, now what was I jabbering about.... Those coloring books you guys gave me about calling off elections and declaring myself... what, king? No, I was talking about . . you sure? Why the hell would I be talking about spear chuckers with aids? You sure? You probably thought I was listening to something... Oh, it was me? Oh, that way, yea.... well, if they won't vote for me, why the hell should I do something for them? I got my hands full getting all the product together for my large donars. .. or at least telling people to. Like you, Cheney dick... Well, no, I am not ever going to tire of calling you that. Anyways, Cheney Dick... man, that's funny... Anyways, what if I was to try to get the mud vote, what would I do... sign a bill giving them all like three forty ouncers a week and subsidized packs of kools, what? Hell no, that's not a joke. I tell that damn Cheney Dick joke and you don't laugh until I look at you, and now... what Conni? Well, hell ... you only drink wine and don't smoke? Really, that old tom, the uh, general dude, he don't smoke either? I figured you two was just, you know, keeping it from me... Dick, do you believe her? Me, neither. Can't trust em.... I know you are here, Conni, but like I was saying... Hey, somebody go get us some coffee and some of those... wait, I'm going to pronounce it myself this time -- baygiggle. Is that right? Damn!!! Jews... Like a bay and a gull? How the hell is a damn heeb donut, that ain't even sweet, like a goddamn bay and a gull. Jews, they sure as hell don't know how to name foods. I mean, they can be pretty smart... too damn smart, you know ... like clever little geek weasels... What? Yea, I knew you was a heeb, are you kidding? With that nose? You guys are known for having those small noses, everyone knows that.No, now, don't be having a huffy fit on me or I'll have these secret service boys kick your ass again... I'm just making a joke, like we did in school. Remember, I'm the president now, so no one better be suggesting in any damn way that I'm rude, crass, a spoiled rich boy, or any of that shit my dad is always saying... Not that he will now that I had those Navy Seals teach him a thing, or two . . . Put that tape on again, Wolfy. . . . the one the pentagon took of that little birthday I threw him. I am so glad I told those Navy Seals to start screaming "No more years!!" at him while they broke his ankle. Teach him to get all 'frenchy' and malt- tie--syllable on me. C'mon, Cheney Dick.... ha, damn that is funny. You got a dick right in your name... shit, somebody better laugh before I get real, real mad... yea, that's better. Hey, bring me another one of them there wetback busboys and my sword. I feel like decapitating something. Anybody else? Shit, yea, secret service dudes, that will be swords and wetbacks all around. We'll all get naked and roll around in blood and money!!! Where's my Wild Turkey. Hell, where is that bartender Mom bought me? No, not that one... The one I didn't shoot. Oh, I shot him, too? Damn, he had the best coke."
THE SPEAKING BUSH:
"What was I talking about? Oh, yea, niggers... No offense, Conni.... always gotta say that to my little secretary, cause she is ... well, like I always say, she's better than black, like that general, what's that old tom's name, the tall buck? Oh, yea, Power. What? Powell.... two syllables. I don't trust too many words with two syllables, let alone names... Damn it all, now what was I jabbering about.... Those coloring books you guys gave me about calling off elections and declaring myself... what, king? No, I was talking about . . you sure? Why the hell would I be talking about spear chuckers with aids? You sure? You probably thought I was listening to something... Oh, it was me? Oh, that way, yea.... well, if they won't vote for me, why the hell should I do something for them? I got my hands full getting all the product together for my large donars. .. or at least telling people to. Like you, Cheney dick... Well, no, I am not ever going to tire of calling you that. Anyways, Cheney Dick... man, that's funny... Anyways, what if I was to try to get the mud vote, what would I do... sign a bill giving them all like three forty ouncers a week and subsidized packs of kools, what? Hell no, that's not a joke. I tell that damn Cheney Dick joke and you don't laugh until I look at you, and now... what Conni? Well, hell ... you only drink wine and don't smoke? Really, that old tom, the uh, general dude, he don't smoke either? I figured you two was just, you know, keeping it from me... Dick, do you believe her? Me, neither. Can't trust em.... I know you are here, Conni, but like I was saying... Hey, somebody go get us some coffee and some of those... wait, I'm going to pronounce it myself this time -- baygiggle. Is that right? Damn!!! Jews... Like a bay and a gull? How the hell is a damn heeb donut, that ain't even sweet, like a goddamn bay and a gull. Jews, they sure as hell don't know how to name foods. I mean, they can be pretty smart... too damn smart, you know ... like clever little geek weasels... What? Yea, I knew you was a heeb, are you kidding? With that nose? You guys are known for having those small noses, everyone knows that.No, now, don't be having a huffy fit on me or I'll have these secret service boys kick your ass again... I'm just making a joke, like we did in school. Remember, I'm the president now, so no one better be suggesting in any damn way that I'm rude, crass, a spoiled rich boy, or any of that shit my dad is always saying... Not that he will now that I had those Navy Seals teach him a thing, or two . . . Put that tape on again, Wolfy. . . . the one the pentagon took of that little birthday I threw him. I am so glad I told those Navy Seals to start screaming "No more years!!" at him while they broke his ankle. Teach him to get all 'frenchy' and malt- tie--syllable on me. C'mon, Cheney Dick.... ha, damn that is funny. You got a dick right in your name... shit, somebody better laugh before I get real, real mad... yea, that's better. Hey, bring me another one of them there wetback busboys and my sword. I feel like decapitating something. Anybody else? Shit, yea, secret service dudes, that will be swords and wetbacks all around. We'll all get naked and roll around in blood and money!!! Where's my Wild Turkey. Hell, where is that bartender Mom bought me? No, not that one... The one I didn't shoot. Oh, I shot him, too? Damn, he had the best coke."