I don't know how much more I can take....

from JoeUser Forums
Here's a quick update on what's been going on around here:

My 'new' computer has crashed on me 3 times in the past 2 days. I'm about ready to take it back and have them look at it to see WTF is going on...and they can do so for free, as far as I'm concerned.

My neighbor has managed to royally piss me off by riding his 4-wheeler all over my newly raked, seeded and watered lawn. Then the people on the other side of me dragged a huge tiller over it, got it stuck in the wet ground and dragged it back out again, leaving me with a nice big furrow in my yard. I wouldn't mind, but we get our yards inspected to make sure they're up to the military's standards and I'll be the one to get the ticket.

The guy that got killed in Balad wasn't from here. I would say luckily, but I don't see it as a 'lucky' situation; someone got killed. I haven't heard if any of our dudes was injured yet.

I have to have an MRI done first thing in the morning and a spinal tap done later this week or early next week. I gave in to my husband's requests and went to the doctor today. I have weakness and neurological defecits in my left hand, arm, and leg, and I've had a headache for 3 days now. It also hurts me to move my eyes. The weakness in my arm and hand didn't surprise me, I knew about that and that was really what I was there for...but the leg explained quite a bit. I fall, a lot, most recently I fell down the stairs and fractured some ribs (I blogged about that back in Feb). I asked him what he though was wrong (I have a good idea myself) and he reeled off a litany of things...MS, lupus, a tumor, epilepsy, Parkinson's, a TIA..there's countless neruological diseases and syndromes that could be causing the symptoms I've been having....too many for him to want to even guess. It could also be something that was caused by the jeep vs 18 wheeler accident.

So, that's about it for me. I'm really not sure how much more of this I can handle. I say that knowing, however, that I'll take whatever is thrown at me and I'll roll with the punches. I bounce, I always have, and I'll bounce back from this like I've bounced back from everything else. I may cry and feel sorry for myself whilst doing so, but I'll be alright.

I would , however, like a bit of a break.

misc
6,636 views 17 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
I want a break too. I want to run away. :) I know I'm a little bit old to do that, and so are you, but doesn't it seem like the best thing right now?

Just run away from your life?

I wish.

~Anne

ps I'm sorry so much is going on with you! Hopefully it will get better.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I know, honey. I'd LOVE to slip away for a bit and re-charge my batteries...but that's not going to happen, not anytime soon.

It WILL get better. It has to. For both of us.
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
I know.

Can it really get worse? That's what I keep thinking... I sure hope not, at least.

Maybe I will like, go into a coma for a few days or something and it will be like a little vacation. Of course that would be terrible, but the vacation would be great.

lol me and my sordid sense of humor

~Anne
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
You're not alone, because I wish the same kind of thing.

The thing that bothers me most is having to tell Dave what's been going on. He's so far away, and feels helpless..like he should be here helping me, and he can't be.

I have a numb/tingly spot on my face this evening. My head was shaking earlier and I couldn't stop it. My arm was shaking when I was driving, even my kids noticed it. What the hell is wrong with me?!? :(
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
i'm really sorry that things aren't going well at the moment. I was very happy to see the part at the end about knowing that you'll bounce back. Lord knows we can't all be positive all the time, but we can still progress forward while feeling shitty about the current status of things... I hope things get better soon! Only a few more months til the man comes home!
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Just think Dharma... not long till the sun rolls around in that excuse for a hemisphere you have there...

BAM!!!
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
The sun'll come out, Dharmagrl... meanwhile, ask Waddle-doo for help; I'm sure such a fine ducky would have some valuable input.

Hug for you ()

~Dan
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Some things are not about being fixed, but I find myself fixated on fixing them, if you know what I mean. Your symptoms could result from almost anything neurological, as well as from environmental toxins or environmental stresses. The patterns are the key, of course. My heart goes out to you. I obsess about aging and dying, having done so since age sixteen more or less. I tell myself I'm ready, that the glorious life is present for me regardless, but it just sucks to feel as if we come to consciousness just about the same time that everything starts to slide South.

In relation to your symptomology again, I'd definitely think about checking out a Naturopathic Physician; there's tons of clinical evidence of them making a difference where alopathic approaches just didn't do much---drugs and money medicine---and your case is just the sort of situation where a non-standard approach couldn't hurt to investigate. Take the love of those who know you, even a little, to your heart, whatever decision you make about courses of treatment and action and maddening stupefaction.

Ciao for now,

Jimbo
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thank you all for you kind words...I'm ok.
The sun DOES shine around here, it just gets overcast sometimes, dig?

Well, I'm off to go lay in a little tube and get claustrophobic whilst a big-ass magnet takes pictures of the inside of my noggin. It'll probably show what I've known all along: that I have a brain the size of a brussel sprout!

Namaste..
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
Good luck Dharma...I hope everything's gonna be fine. Fingers crossed. Let us know how things go.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
Ditto to what Mack said. I am thinking of you. Don't worry... it's probably bigger than a brussel sprout.
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
Ditto to what Mack said. I am thinking of you. Don't worry... it's probably bigger than a brussel sprout.


Yeah, I'm betting it's at least the size of a medium sized cabbage...

Seriously, hope all goes well, and I'll be holding you in my prayers till we know what's going on.
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Keep us updated. Sounds like scary stuff. TIAs are tricky to diagnose and MS episodes can be misdiagnosed as TIAs (happened in my family).

Best wishes!
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm sorry to hear about your illness. It doesn't sound good. I hope that whatever it is it can be taken care of. It must be very hard on all of you since your husband is away.
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top

Be prepared that they might not know that is wrong with you.  Auto immune diseases take a long time to diagnose.  My husband took me to emergency a year or so ago because I lost the peripheral vision in my left eye as well as strength in my left arm and leg.  My left hand was numb.  They thought that I had a stroke, but found out that I didn't.  They kept me over night and still didn't know what was wrong.  They sent me home with drugs and said "we think that you will just get better".  Which, eventually, it did.  But, that is the nice stuff that I get with Lupus (which took years to diagnose)

My Aunt recently went through about 3 months of having her lower body numb.  They determined that it must have been a virus because they couldn't find anything else wrong with her.  She has about 95% feeling back, but 3 months of her life were hell and she got no relief from the doctors.

now....wasn't that a ray of sunshine?  I just have issues with doctors

Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
You know Sherye, that's the hardest thing. I can live with the symptoms, I just want to know what the heck is going on so I can deal with it accordingly...but poor old Dave is having a hard time of things. He feels like he should be here, but he can't be. I keep telling him that it's ok, that when and if I really need him to come home I'll let him know...his being here isn't going to make much difference right now. He just wants to be there for me..wants to be HERE for me. Funnily enough we kind of had a little spat the other night about how he put his job before everything else in the past, and how I was still a little hurt and resentful of him for doing that..and now this happens. I feel absolutely awful about it now. He's being wonderful, he really is. I couldn't ask for a better, more supportive husband.
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm prepared for that, Karma. I'm prepared for almost anything, I think. I just want someone to tell me that all of this is not in my head...which kind of happened yesterday with the leg weakness. I didn't realize it until the doc had me do some movements with it..and you know, the more I read, the more I think I have MS. I've been (since this strange sensation started) feeling really tired around 3 or 4 pm, so tired that I have to lay down and take a nap, which my husband will tell you is highly unusual for me; I almost never nap. I just found out that that's really common for people with MS. I also don't have the tremor too bad unless I'm trying to grip or reach for something..for example when I'm driving it's worse because I'm reaching to hold the steering wheel...and that's a classic thing as well. All of this stuff I found out AFTER I had already noticed the symptoms, so it's not like I'm reading about them and then imagining them.

Karma, did you get the rash at all? There's supposed to be a rash the accompanies lupus. How did they finally diagnose you with that?