Dear GOD

from JoeUser Forums

Dear GOD, today I am Pissed off more than usual.

I am having a hard time understanding why I have not been sleeping, why am I ill?

Why is there so much hatred in the world?

I really did not get clean and sober so I could die a slow pain filled death.

There is something inherently wrong with a man so full of life to be laid low by a virus so small I can't see the damned thing.

I say this many times, " the king of the jungle, the male lion should never go toothless". "He should die at the height of his power, not old tired and decrepit".

Dear God you have never answered me about me wanting to take my own life, instead of just wasting away. Why is it such a huge SIN in your eyes? Why can't I when the time is right just end it?

I just cannot believe that YOU want me to fight to the bitter end, when I have no hope left.

Why do you let my people suffer so, and by extension my family and friends suffer too?

Understand GOD that I love you! and will follow your word, but does it have to be so damned hard?

 

Elie

misc
13,012 views 22 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Elie, I wish I had the answer to your questions but I do not, only HE does. I know that when the time comes that there is no more fight left in you I will stand by your side. I HAVe to believe that GOD will understand if you choose to end your pain and suffering. I have had many of the same questions with no answers, maybe I am not listening hard enough??
Just know that I love you and alwasy will. You own a very large piece of my heart!
Micheleyourbelle
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
MM, I am sorry you are hurting.

I can't answer any of your questions to God, because I'm not Him. heh.

But you are well loved and maybe its selfish, but I'd like for you to stick around as long as possible with as little pain as possible. You have a lot of heart to share with the world.
Start11 - Customize the Start Menu and Taskbar in Windows 10/11.
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
I dont know the answers Elie, but i think that Michelle is one of the reasons you are here.  I suspect there are many more like her as well.  I am sorry for your pain, but hope that you realize how much like George Bailey you are.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hey MM,

*insert something really profound and inspirational* because I have none.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
So sorry also for your pain and suffering. There is so much suffering here all around us. That's why I have decided to study this maybe to be helpful to those around me. For the past few weeks I've been doing a study on Psalm 73 which goes to the heart of the matter and gives practical ways for us to understand our problems and suffering.

I guess I want to know as well....God what are you doing here? Why do our loved ones suffer so?

I pray that He gives you the answers you are seeking.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Moderateman - a poem for you

HOPE

Life beckons me hypnotically

Each morning as the sun rises, so I respond to its call, what is this hold life has over me?

What drives me to rise each day filled with dread at what ahead

Still, I obey its call

Life has not been a good friend, so why am I so loyal to it, living it faithfully

Like a dog whose master has beaten it, I crawl back for more of the same

Each morning I am still here faithful as ever

I am a victim of hope, yes that is it

I am hypnotised by life

Filled with hope

The hope that my master - Life

Will show some mercy and hear my pleas to be my friend again

Hope is what keeps me alive

Hope is what causes me to respond to its call each and every day

Do I rid myself of hope?

Without hope, where am I ?

Nay, hope is full of promise

Promise of better things

Promise of fulfillment

Promise of life and hope

Hope!

Yes I will respond to the call of Life each day

For without you - where would I be?


Keep your chin up dude! I hope you feel better in yourself soon. And keep on living!
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
(is the topic even addressed in the OT?)


My only understanding would be the difference between murder and killing. Killing is not considered a sin but Murder is as it is one of the commandments.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thank you folks for caring!
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Yes, what can I do for you?
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
On a more serious note, sorry that things don't seem to be that great right now MM, but do understand that you make things many times better around here (JU) just by being here. Even when my day sucks or just doesn't seem right, reading something from you turns things around quickly, and not because of hearing of your misery or problems or anything else negative, simply because you do brighten things up along the way in a bunch of little ways.

Hang in there and work through things as best you can. While none of us may understand the reasons for things that come at us, normally we aren't hit with anything that we can't deal with. It may not be easy, and we may not like it, but we can almost always deal with it and get on to the next day.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
#10 by terpfan1980
Wed, August 16, 2006 5:56 PM


Yes, what can I do for you?


your kind words on response 11 did just swell.

thanx terp.

MM
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
I don't really know what to say, but I've come to appreciate you very much as I've gotten to know the little bit of yourself that you share with JU.

It hurts my heart to think of your suffering, and the thought of you being gone brings me to tears.

I can't even claim to know you, but you've touched my life more than you know. You are such a special human being, like no one else I've ever met. I hope you find your answers.
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
I don't have any words for you that could possibly heal your spirit. Just know that there are people who do care, my friend.
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top

Reply By: Texas WahinePosted: Wednesday, August 16, 2006
I don't really know what to say, but I've come to appreciate you very much as I've gotten to know the little bit of yourself that you share with JU.

It hurts my heart to think of your suffering, and the thought of you being gone brings me to tears.

I can't even claim to know you, but you've touched my life more than you know. You are such a special human being, like no one else I've ever met. I hope you find your answers.

I am always so confused by you tex.

Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top

Reply By: MasonMPosted: Wednesday, August 16, 2006
I don't have any words for you that could possibly heal your spirit. Just know that there are people who do care, my friend

awkward ain.t it?

Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
I say this many times, " the king of the jungle, the male lion should never go toothless". "He should die at the height of his power, not old tired and decrepit".


And that's EXACTLY what I want to do, Elie. I want to live until there's nothing else left. The way I see it, I didn't put myself here so I ain't gonna take myself out of here either- remember life is tough but I'm tougher? No, I won't take my own life because I've quit enough things in this journey and I'm through with that.
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
This is beautiful Elie. Your questions are so poignant. I don't have the answers either.


All I can do, like everyone else here who loves you is offer myself to you, being here to help, comfort, if I can. I like having you around and so does Coleen and Michele and your entire family.

I miss you when you're not here too. I love reading your stories, I might not say it often enough but I do. You're so funny and you always have such a way of letting us know just how you feel about anything! If I could give you something from my own bodily organs, I sincerely would just so you could feel better. You're in my prayers always Elie, never forget that. This might sound cryptic but God knows you're there, he understands your pain and he's giving you only that which you can bare. I read what you wrote as not a cry for help, but one of frustrations. You won't give up because of that fighting spirit in you and that's what we all love. Even when the going gets rough and you feel like giving up, you keep trodding on.

Whose going to put that smile on my face if you don't do it? OK, so Joe and Whip and Chris and Maso and a few others always do, but you're different my friend, never forget that.


Let me stop rambling. I just wanted you to know...(((((((((((Elie)))))))))))))).
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top

Reply By: ShovelheatPosted: Thursday, August 17, 2006
I say this many times, " the king of the jungle, the male lion should never go toothless". "He should die at the height of his power, not old tired and decrepit".


And that's EXACTLY what I want to do, Elie. I want to live until there's nothing else left. The way I see it, I didn't put myself here so I ain't gonna take myself out of here either- remember life is tough but I'm tougher? No, I won't take my own life because I've quit enough things in this journey and I'm through with that.

If I ever reach the point of being bedridden, wearing diapers, stinking from my own urine seeping through my pores, painkillers no longer working, no hope.. I am outta here.

Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top

Reply By: GimpyonePosted: Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Elie, I wish I had the answer to your questions but I do not, only HE does. I know that when the time comes that there is no more fight left in you I will stand by your side. I HAVe to believe that GOD will understand if you choose to end your pain and suffering. I have had many of the same questions with no answers, maybe I am not listening hard enough??
Just know that I love you and alwasy will. You own a very large piece of my heart!
Micheleyourbelle

And you will always have a peice of my heart, Michelemybelle

 

Micheleeeeeeeeeee my belleeeeeee these are words that go together wellllllll, my michele.

Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top

Reply By: Tova7Posted: Wednesday, August 16, 2006
MM, I am sorry you are hurting.

I can't answer any of your questions to God, because I'm not Him. heh.

But you are well loved and maybe its selfish, but I'd like for you to stick around as long as possible with as little pain as possible. You have a lot of heart to share with the world.

You always have something kind to say.. you are a sweetheart of a person, Z{{{{{{{{{tova}}}}}}}}

Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top

Reply By: Adventure-DudePosted: Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Hey MM,

*insert something really profound and inspirational* because I have none.

 

It's definitely the thought that counts, sometimes the words just will not come. thank you for the thought.

Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top

Reply By: KFC (Kickin For Christ)Posted: Wednesday, August 16, 2006
So sorry also for your pain and suffering. There is so much suffering here all around us. That's why I have decided to study this maybe to be helpful to those around me. For the past few weeks I've been doing a study on Psalm 73 which goes to the heart of the matter and gives practical ways for us to understand our problems and suffering.

I guess I want to know as well....God what are you doing here? Why do our loved ones suffer so?

I have always had trouble with anyone dieing a slow death, somehow it just does not seem fair or just.