Why are you pissed at me?

from JoeUser Forums

My daughter had a freind over to hang out with this afternoon.

This girl is a very nice kid.  She and my daughter have attended the same school for a few years, but they moved in different circles and never had much to do with each other until fairly recently.  Shea saw this girl (we'll call her A) being bullied online by some other girls in her grade and she stepped in and came to A's defense.  Shea and A have been talking ever since, but today was the first day A had ever been to our home to spend time with Shea.

Before A come over, they had figured out what they were going to do with their time: experiment with makeup.  I asked A to make sure her mother was cool with that.  When A's dad dropped her off, my husband went out and introduced himself and again asked if it was ok that A and Shea did each other's makeup.  Her dad said something like 'it'll all wash off' and was perfectly happy to leave A here with Shea.

They had a blast, fooling around with eyeliner and mascara.  A asked me to show her how to apply it correctly, and then they bother asked if I'd take them to the BX.  A had her allowance and wanted to buy some eyeliner and shadow of her own.  Again, I asked if it was ok with her mother that she buy that kind of thing, and she said yes. So, I helped her choose some cosmetics and she and Shea giggled over boys the entire time we were at the store.  'A' really had fun, and it was good for Shea to be spending time with someone out of her normal circle of friends.

Then A's mother showed up to take her home.  "I head they went and got eye makeup" she said, glaring at me.  I told her that yes, we did some shopping and that I explained to A that too much makeup at her age isn't a good thing; that it's ok to experiment in the house but that it's not appropriate to wear it to school. "She's not allowed to wear makup until she's 16" she snipped back at me, and she told A to get in the car and they left.

I'm a little confused.  See, I get the feeling that she's pissed off at me for allowing her child to play with eyeliner.  I asked A BEFORE she came over to check with her mother that it was ok to wear it. She said it was ok with her.  When she showed up, my husband asked her dad if it was ok for her to do it. He said that it would "wash off" - he could have said "no".    Before we went to the store, A called her mother and told her where we were going and what she was going to do, and her mother never once asked to speak to me to tell me that no, her child wasn't allowed to wear makeup.  It's not as if we took A's word for it, we asked her dad.....I feel like we did everything we could to make sure that A wasn't going to do anything her parent's didn't approve of whilst she was here. 

As far as I'm concerned, I did everything I should have done.  I made sure that at least one of her parent's KNEW what they were going to do when they were here, and I gave them the opportunity to say 'No, I'd prefer that my child didn't do that'.  They never took that opportunity.  In fact, when A called her mother to tell her that we were going to the store and that she was wearing eyeliner, I overheard what her mother said "hope that you don't run into anyone we know, hahahaha".

Update: apparently, A's mother is offended by our (Dave and mine) tattoos.  Because we have tattoos and I wear makeup, we're "bad" people.

*shakes head in disbelief*

That makes me sad. 

misc
3,179 views 8 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top

Evil Warding sign!  Back back!  back to whence you came!

Give me a break!  I am that dad (although I did not marry that mom).  It washes off!  And your tatoos do not rub off on me or mine! 

Oogey! How am I going to repel that stuff  Tattoos are going to get me!  Momma!  Please help me!

I am sorry K.  Some parents are just too stupid to breath.  Hey!  I dont like my young (my youngest is now 18 so no more decisions from me) girls to play with that stuff.  But I am up front and honest about it (if they are 13- forget it.  If they are 16.  Where did my baby go?)

Sorry.  I am a protective parent.  But not a stupid one.  They are 18 and 23 now.  and if they want tattoos, I dont like them, but that is their choice.  But they are still my babies.  And they do not rub off.

Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
D, the women sounds about as shallow as they come. Or maybe she had a mother or father who suppressed her desires to be a little different or a little daring and now feels she has to be the same way with her daughter. How sad is it when parents limit their children's experiences based on their own lack of experiences.
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
D... I thought you knew! Tattoos are contagious! I caught mine from you 18 years ago.

Sheesh. Does yours say, "pot rules" or "go satan" or something like that? Somehow I really doubt it.

I feel sorry for A. But that lady is kinda strange. "I heard you bought make up?" Didn't her daughter actually tell her on the phone? She makes it seem like it was the biggest rumor on the base.


psssttt.... did you hear? A bought make up!
Oh, my! She's certainly set firmly on the road to damnation now!

Seems like you did the right thing.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top

psssttt.... did you hear? A bought make up!
Oh, my! She's certainly set firmly on the road to damnation now!

Can I pray for you? ( )

Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Sorry to read of the problems with the guest and her family. I've seen issues like this come up multiple times, documented in places like (one of my guilty pleasure reads) Dear Abby/Ann Landers and such. Some people are just way too uptight when it comes to issues like this. Actually though, this seems tame compared to a recent discussion I read in another location I frequent where a mother was upset because her children had gone for a ride in a friends vehicle without riding in children's car seats.

Now, before you think not riding in children's care seats should be a problem, you'd need to know that the children in question were 7 and 9 years old. The mother (mostly) and the father that were upset over the neighbor taking the children for a ride wouldn't let their children -- both of whom are over the state designated weight that requires safety seats or booster seats -- ride in their own cars without riding in booster seats or other safety seats, even though the mother said that their are issues getting the seat belts to line up correctly for the children (both in and out of the booster seats and such).

The point of this all being that parents are all different and some seem to worry way too much over things that shouldn't even be an issue. Little girls normally play with dolls, play dress up, and try out make-up. It's a natural thing, and stiffling it just makes the girls that don't get to do it resentful of their parents. I'm sure down the road that the parents of "A" from Dharma's story will be seen in that way by their child, never mind that they're already seen that way by the same people they apparently feel are beneath them because of body art.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
All people with tattoos are evil!!!!
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

Give me a break! I am that dad (although I did not marry that mom). It washes off! And your tatoos do not rub off on me or mine!

That's what her dad said. 

Or maybe she had a mother or father who suppressed her desires to be a little different or a little daring and now feels she has to be the same way with her daughter. How sad is it when parents limit their children's experiences based on their own lack of experiences.

It's VERY sad, and I wish that people wouldn't do it.  My parents did it to me, and I swore when I was pregnant with my first that I would never do that to my kids.

"I heard you bought make up?" Didn't her daughter actually tell her on the phone?

Yeah, she did.  She also told her mom before she even came over that she was going to have Shea show her how to apply eye makeup.  I guess her mom didn't take her seriously.'

My tattoos are both infinity symbols.  One is actually a religious symbol - it's an oroborous, a Gnostic infinity symbol.  Gnosticism's premise is that self-knowledge is the way to god, to the divine, and I have a lot of respect for that.  It's a shame that she didn't take the time to ask me about them....maybe she would have thought differently about them.

Then again, she's apparently the kind of person who is too closed minded to even want to know about them.  Dave said that he wished he had a big ol' fuck off tattoo of a big breasted naked woman on his forearm - she'd have REALLY had a fit over that one!

 

Can I pray for you?

BWAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAH!

No.

I read in another location I frequent where a mother was upset because her children had gone for a ride in a friends vehicle without riding in children's car seats.

Now, before you think not riding in children's care seats should be a problem, you'd need to know that the children in question were 7 and 9 years old

I think that some people are either so scared that other people won't take care of their kids the way they feel like they should, or they're so self absorbed that they think they're the best parents on the face of the earth and that npbody else can even come close to their parenting skills.  I dunno which one A's folks are.

All people with tattoos are evil!!!!

Yes, I am.  Just don't tell anyone else, ok?  It's going to be our secret.....

Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
All people with tattoos are evil!!!!


Well, I guess that makes me evil too. Ooo, look out for the big, bad, nasty Maso-demon