Misconceptions of a Gay Life

The Questions.

from JoeUser Forums
Somewhere along the line, when life has seemingly settled down - one must look at the life they lead and wonder how the world thinks. I don't do this often, nor do I dwell on it much, but having just passed my 10 year anniversary with the partner of MY CHOICE - not my parents choice, not my religions choice, not society's choice - I find my life to be everything that I had ever dreamed of. So I ask myself why - with so much controversy over gay marriage, civil unions, hell and damnation - people in general cannot get a grip and understand. I've decided it is due to all the misconceptions of gay life by a population that is either living in the dark ages, has watched too much TV, or doesn't realize I live next door - have for 5 years - and guess what - I'M GAY!!!!! Maybe I hope only to get my thoughts on paper - eventually to share with more than myself. I am no writer, but Iam a thinker, so maybe in the translation I will understand it all.
welcome
849 views 4 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
thinkers....that's all us writers are. It's good to have you man.

Trinitie
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I've decided it is due to all the misconceptions of gay life by a population that is either living in the dark ages, has watched too much TV, or doesn't realize I live next door

I don't think a whole lot of people who are affronted with lifestyles that are different than their own realize how many people who are living differently are also a part of their community, their church, their family... many people who keep quiet are those that have seen undesirable outcomes by being honest. Some don't want to rock the boat, others are concerned about how preconcieved notions about their lives can affect their reputation and credibility at work, and more don't see how some people who have such strong beliefs in what is 'right' can or will ever change their minds.

Nic
Galactic Civilizations III
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
10 years, whoa, congrats! :) My two best friends have been together for 15 years now. So much for the stereotypes, huh? :)
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
I do believe that fear plays a great role in what we all do and don't do. After attempting the "right" adult lifestyle for 20 years, my father, who was totally devoted to my mother who had passed away a year earlier, on finding out he had terminal cancer turned on the light bulb for me, quite without meaning to. I asked him why during their 35 year marriage, he had never done anything for himself, always just for mom - He told me he always thought he'd have time later. When he passed away, I knew my "later" had come and that life is too unpredictable and short to live unhappy. I also learned that all relationships are the same - no matter who they are between, and that it's the feelings you share with an individual that really counts. I was raised a good catholic girl. I got married, I had 2 children (whose comment to me on being told their mom was gay - was they wondered how long it would take me to figure it out :} ) and was the model citizen, who worked everyday, paid the bills and firmly believed that all people were basically good, with a few flaws. I am still all those things. I was and EMT/FIrefighter for 5 years, I worked for the Department of Corrections for 4 years, and I have been a pretty successful restaurant manager for 19 years now. My partner is a mom too, with 4 natural kids - we also adopted her 2 nephews out of an abusive home, so all in all we have raised 8 kids (all in our house at one time at the very beginning). We go everywhere together, do everything together, but unless we tell people the nature of our relationship they still have no clue. I guess because we are not the stereotypes that people are looking for. But still all the social and economical benefits that should be ours are not. I feel the unfairness, but I don't dwell on it. I love my life. More later.