Totally Random Self discoveries
Totally boring unless you’re interested in what’s going on in my life…
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
My new do……
What was I thinking?!
I never realized how self conscious I was about myself. I knew I was but never realized how much it can affect my psyche. I finally did it, I cut my hair. So short that I have hair only in the front, I could be a dyke right now! Ok, maybe that’s too drastic a comparison but seriously that’s what it looks like.
I got tired of wearing a pony tail, wearing extensions or some other style that was just oh so tiring. Yea, we women flip about our hair so much. [at least some of us do] So I cut my hair, I like it but I’m a bit hesitant because I have a round, full face. My kids like it, my husband likes it, and the whole hair salon liked it. But the important thing is do I like it? Yes I do, it’s different, but I have to get used to it. The last time I wore my hair this short, boy-short, was when I was in my late teens/early twenties, I was also a lot thinner then too.
I’ll see if I can get a picture of me and my new do so you can see it. I’ll try to do it before it grows out. Now I’m in search of a pair of fantastic earrings to go with it. I guess I’ll have to be confident and not as self conscious without hair.
___________________-
Oh glorious legs!
Plus my girlfriend and discovery of men….
Speaking of being self conscious, I’m lying on the bed a few minutes ago and I’m looking at my legs, actually, I was doing some leg lifts and sit ups on the bed, yea totally lazy way of exercising; but then I thought to myself, you know my legs aren’t as bad as I think they are. Sure they’re heavier because I’ve still got too much weight on me, (you can tell I worry about my weight right? Not really, just sometimes – no more than some women do). Anyway, I still like my legs, I might not like them right now because I won’t wear a bathing suit with out shorts, but I think they still look good.
Growing up, I never liked my legs that much, I have knocked knees and because of that I never liked wearing pants. Then when I got to my late teens into early adulthood I realized how nice my legs were. They were firm, muscular and very smooth. Plus I wasn’t hairy like some of my friends, so I didn’t have to worry about shaving. And in those days, shorts with bathing suits, no way! I seriously didn’t know how attractive they were though until the opposite sex began to show interest. In fact, interest in me on a whole. Every time I put something on, especially when I wore pants, the attention was mind boggling. The good thing was I handled all the attention with considerable confidence, as I remembered my friend used to tell me.
We were quite a pair she and I. She, gorgeous, long curly hair, beautiful both in body and personality, and she was half Asian/Jamaican and French! While I was tall, dark and very curvy, with almond shape eyes and an ass akin to J’Lo’s or Beyonce! There was the time I stopped traffic, literally, when we were on the way to a rendezvous at one of our favourite hang out spots. I have a picture with my then dating boyfriend, whom I’m still attached to (my hubby) in a bathing suit. Some friends of mine saw it recently and were totally surprised. Gee, have I changed that much? No they said, just that I looked so different, so built. I know, I was twenty odd years younger then and I was really into working out and very, very active. Now I’ve gotten so lazy, but I’m trying to get out of that rut. Plus blame me on being so comfortable with myself now, almost anyway, that I don’t put as much effort into working out anymore. Although, I’m getting in that mode again. I’ll see if I can link that picture, it’s one of my favourites.
________________--
World Cup Soccer
…..and lots of Sex!
So my husband and I were fooling around a lot this weekend. He likes doing that, feeling me up!LOL! A couple of times we locked our bedroom door, locking out the kids and just relishing each other! Blame it on World Cup Soccer which we were watching together! I tell ya it was a lot of fun. Reminds me of when we used to do that very often and spontaneous like that before kids. We still get spontaneous but never in the middle of the day! So he says to me, He can’t believe that’s all it still takes for him to get hard. I said what? He says, “Just touching your breasts”. I smile, relishing in my womanly wiles. How sweet is that!
I can relate because I’m still as sexually attracted to him as I was when we first met. Mind you, the feeling is a lot stronger now. I love his body and I took a lot of pleasure showing him…..Ah the lazy days of summer!
_______________--
Kids and totally stressed!
Bye-bye sexual afterglow…..
While I spent Saturday, like a sex maniac, I spent Sunday, annoyed and with a big headache! Why you wonder? My kids, the two youngest ones are driving me crazy! They are constantly fighting and I’m tired of pulling them apart! I raise my voice to talk to them and I’m ready to knock their heads together! The youngest one especially, my four year old, is so out of control sometimes I would swear she’s not my child! Her older brother doesn’t help too because he causes the disagreements between them some of the times. I end up taking stuff away, sending them to different parts of the house and just totally banning them from any fun until I cool down. That or I’m going to be charged because I locked them outside (no I didn’t but I wanted to)! I zone out channeling…..serenity now, serenity now….
Another self discovery, my patience is wearing thin when it comes to my kids misbehaviors. I’m tired of separating them and playing referee. They’re both older now, and although the youngest is four and half going on five, she is intelligent and understands when she does something wrong. But she constantly teases her brother (he’s almost 12), takes his stuff, just getting on his case. He’s constantly squealing in a high pitch voice (he’s not gotten that boy-tremor yet) so the constant squealing is getting me totally stressed. My hubby is not at home on Sunday nights. When he’s home, he will deal with them because if I do I won’t be responsible for what happens. (that usually means I yell and toss everything in the garbage, usually whatever they’re fighting over – which I’ll then regret and know I should have handled better after I cool down)
_________________---
Feeling calm again…
And a bottle of beer
Haha…ok, so I got the kids to calm down, after separating them (and threatening them with no fun for the summer) and getting them to stop fighting….my blood pressure is back to normal. I grab a Bud from the fridge and I took a swig…aahh….Serenity now….
It’s after midnight, my home is a mess again, thanks to my kids and I have a pile of laundry to continue folding; but here I am typing away because I’m in the mood to write!
My hubby called and he’s like are you waiting up for me? And I’m like, no I’m too tired, especially after dealing with the kids. I mean I could get in the mood but I’m too out of it now to think about you. He’ like well, I can convince you….the man is insatiable! Especially after the night we had…..Ok so I won’t go into details but lets just say, I was his master!LOL! Now that’s giving away too much…. But seriously, I’m drinking my beer, cleaning up to do and folding the laundry then to bed I go. I have a messy office to deal with on the last stage of cleaning up and I need my energy for the madness of my day tomorrow. It’s absolutely great though….my husband still loves my body, after all these years, I hum…”still crazy, still crazy after all these years”…the feeling is mutual!
I’m getting tired now and the brain is not functioning which means it’s time to stop writing and get ready for bed, after the picking up and folding. Too bad I can’t post this now when it would be more relevant in timing. Instead I’ll post it when I can later in the morning at work. I find that keeping a blog/log like this is better because it helps me to put thoughts into perspective. That’s why I set up a computer in my living room for me to use. The two oldest has computers in their rooms but I always hated going in their to write, especially when I had to wade through tons of clothes or toys…and that’s another blog all together, about the mess they’re too lazy to clean up – heaven help me! I plan to get the internet but it will be only on this computer when the time comes. But that simply mean they won’t leave my computer alone which would be really, really bad…..
What was I thinking?!
I never realized how self conscious I was about myself. I knew I was but never realized how much it can affect my psyche. I finally did it, I cut my hair. So short that I have hair only in the front, I could be a dyke right now! Ok, maybe that’s too drastic a comparison but seriously that’s what it looks like.
I got tired of wearing a pony tail, wearing extensions or some other style that was just oh so tiring. Yea, we women flip about our hair so much. [at least some of us do] So I cut my hair, I like it but I’m a bit hesitant because I have a round, full face. My kids like it, my husband likes it, and the whole hair salon liked it. But the important thing is do I like it? Yes I do, it’s different, but I have to get used to it. The last time I wore my hair this short, boy-short, was when I was in my late teens/early twenties, I was also a lot thinner then too.
I’ll see if I can get a picture of me and my new do so you can see it. I’ll try to do it before it grows out. Now I’m in search of a pair of fantastic earrings to go with it. I guess I’ll have to be confident and not as self conscious without hair.
___________________-
Oh glorious legs!
Plus my girlfriend and discovery of men….
Speaking of being self conscious, I’m lying on the bed a few minutes ago and I’m looking at my legs, actually, I was doing some leg lifts and sit ups on the bed, yea totally lazy way of exercising; but then I thought to myself, you know my legs aren’t as bad as I think they are. Sure they’re heavier because I’ve still got too much weight on me, (you can tell I worry about my weight right? Not really, just sometimes – no more than some women do). Anyway, I still like my legs, I might not like them right now because I won’t wear a bathing suit with out shorts, but I think they still look good.
Growing up, I never liked my legs that much, I have knocked knees and because of that I never liked wearing pants. Then when I got to my late teens into early adulthood I realized how nice my legs were. They were firm, muscular and very smooth. Plus I wasn’t hairy like some of my friends, so I didn’t have to worry about shaving. And in those days, shorts with bathing suits, no way! I seriously didn’t know how attractive they were though until the opposite sex began to show interest. In fact, interest in me on a whole. Every time I put something on, especially when I wore pants, the attention was mind boggling. The good thing was I handled all the attention with considerable confidence, as I remembered my friend used to tell me.
We were quite a pair she and I. She, gorgeous, long curly hair, beautiful both in body and personality, and she was half Asian/Jamaican and French! While I was tall, dark and very curvy, with almond shape eyes and an ass akin to J’Lo’s or Beyonce! There was the time I stopped traffic, literally, when we were on the way to a rendezvous at one of our favourite hang out spots. I have a picture with my then dating boyfriend, whom I’m still attached to (my hubby) in a bathing suit. Some friends of mine saw it recently and were totally surprised. Gee, have I changed that much? No they said, just that I looked so different, so built. I know, I was twenty odd years younger then and I was really into working out and very, very active. Now I’ve gotten so lazy, but I’m trying to get out of that rut. Plus blame me on being so comfortable with myself now, almost anyway, that I don’t put as much effort into working out anymore. Although, I’m getting in that mode again. I’ll see if I can link that picture, it’s one of my favourites.
________________--
World Cup Soccer
…..and lots of Sex!
So my husband and I were fooling around a lot this weekend. He likes doing that, feeling me up!LOL! A couple of times we locked our bedroom door, locking out the kids and just relishing each other! Blame it on World Cup Soccer which we were watching together! I tell ya it was a lot of fun. Reminds me of when we used to do that very often and spontaneous like that before kids. We still get spontaneous but never in the middle of the day! So he says to me, He can’t believe that’s all it still takes for him to get hard. I said what? He says, “Just touching your breasts”. I smile, relishing in my womanly wiles. How sweet is that!
I can relate because I’m still as sexually attracted to him as I was when we first met. Mind you, the feeling is a lot stronger now. I love his body and I took a lot of pleasure showing him…..Ah the lazy days of summer!
_______________--
Kids and totally stressed!
Bye-bye sexual afterglow…..
While I spent Saturday, like a sex maniac, I spent Sunday, annoyed and with a big headache! Why you wonder? My kids, the two youngest ones are driving me crazy! They are constantly fighting and I’m tired of pulling them apart! I raise my voice to talk to them and I’m ready to knock their heads together! The youngest one especially, my four year old, is so out of control sometimes I would swear she’s not my child! Her older brother doesn’t help too because he causes the disagreements between them some of the times. I end up taking stuff away, sending them to different parts of the house and just totally banning them from any fun until I cool down. That or I’m going to be charged because I locked them outside (no I didn’t but I wanted to)! I zone out channeling…..serenity now, serenity now….
Another self discovery, my patience is wearing thin when it comes to my kids misbehaviors. I’m tired of separating them and playing referee. They’re both older now, and although the youngest is four and half going on five, she is intelligent and understands when she does something wrong. But she constantly teases her brother (he’s almost 12), takes his stuff, just getting on his case. He’s constantly squealing in a high pitch voice (he’s not gotten that boy-tremor yet) so the constant squealing is getting me totally stressed. My hubby is not at home on Sunday nights. When he’s home, he will deal with them because if I do I won’t be responsible for what happens. (that usually means I yell and toss everything in the garbage, usually whatever they’re fighting over – which I’ll then regret and know I should have handled better after I cool down)
_________________---
Feeling calm again…
And a bottle of beer
Haha…ok, so I got the kids to calm down, after separating them (and threatening them with no fun for the summer) and getting them to stop fighting….my blood pressure is back to normal. I grab a Bud from the fridge and I took a swig…aahh….Serenity now….
It’s after midnight, my home is a mess again, thanks to my kids and I have a pile of laundry to continue folding; but here I am typing away because I’m in the mood to write!
My hubby called and he’s like are you waiting up for me? And I’m like, no I’m too tired, especially after dealing with the kids. I mean I could get in the mood but I’m too out of it now to think about you. He’ like well, I can convince you….the man is insatiable! Especially after the night we had…..Ok so I won’t go into details but lets just say, I was his master!LOL! Now that’s giving away too much…. But seriously, I’m drinking my beer, cleaning up to do and folding the laundry then to bed I go. I have a messy office to deal with on the last stage of cleaning up and I need my energy for the madness of my day tomorrow. It’s absolutely great though….my husband still loves my body, after all these years, I hum…”still crazy, still crazy after all these years”…the feeling is mutual!
I’m getting tired now and the brain is not functioning which means it’s time to stop writing and get ready for bed, after the picking up and folding. Too bad I can’t post this now when it would be more relevant in timing. Instead I’ll post it when I can later in the morning at work. I find that keeping a blog/log like this is better because it helps me to put thoughts into perspective. That’s why I set up a computer in my living room for me to use. The two oldest has computers in their rooms but I always hated going in their to write, especially when I had to wade through tons of clothes or toys…and that’s another blog all together, about the mess they’re too lazy to clean up – heaven help me! I plan to get the internet but it will be only on this computer when the time comes. But that simply mean they won’t leave my computer alone which would be really, really bad…..
I love short hair, long hair, just hate the upkeep of long hair! With aging, I find I can't wear mine too short or too long.
! I went to bed at 4am this morning, yep I stayed up!Hehehe