Daily Dose of Weird and Whacky Headlines

from JoeUser Forums

"Poker Chips, Chain Saw Among Gifts Bush"--headline, Associated Press, May 15

Is that like a money tree?

"For Some, It's Easy Being Clean"--headline, Daily Herald (Provo, Utah), May 16

It is a new invention called SOAP.

"Shaken-Baby Syndrome Preventable, Experts Say"--headline, Daily Times-Call, May 15

We need experts to say dont shake?

"Oldest Youth Tournament Under Way"--headline, News-Press (Fort Myers, Fla.), May 13

Youngest Oldster tournament set for the same time.

"Obesity Worse Than Thought"--headline, AOL Diet & Fitness, undated

Thoughts kill, so dont think.

"Latest Spears Photos Spark Safety Debate"--headline, Associated Press, May 16

If spears do that, imagine what a blow gun will do!

"Double Amputee Is the 1st to Summit Everest"--headline, Associated Press, May 16

I thought it was Sir Edmund Hillary?????

"Study: Alligators Dangerous No Matter How Drunk You Are"--headline, Onion, May 10

But drunk alligators are not dangerous, so buy them the drink!

humor
7,007 views 10 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Very fun, Doc. Where do you get all these, anyway?

Did you hear about the woman in Florida who had a gator in her house? It was attacking her dog, so she pulled out her rifle and started firing. The gator was wounded, but not killed. She called Animal Control, and they came, took the gator away, and gave the lady a citation and a large fee for "hunting out of season and in city limits". (I don't have a source for this, it was on the radio this morning . . . now nobody get mad at me for plagarism, please )

Ridiculous, eh?
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
"For Some, It's Easy Being Clean"--headline, Daily Herald (Provo, Utah), May 16


This is the daily from that "one" school in Provo, BYU . . . I don't even want to know what they're talking about when they say "being clean".
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

Did you hear about the woman in Florida who had a gator in her house? It was attacking her dog, so she pulled out her rifle and started firing. The gator was wounded, but not killed. She called Animal Control, and they came, took the gator away, and gave the lady a citation and a large fee for "hunting out of season and in city limits". (I don't have a source for this, it was on the radio this morning . . . now nobody get mad at me for plagarism, please )

Had not heard that one, but wish I had!  It would have fit in here perfectly!

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top

This is the daily from that "one" school in Provo, BYU . . . I don't even want to know what they're talking about when they say "being clean".

Ahem, would "we" know anyone attending that school?

Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top

I loved that oone about the alligators! 

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top

I loved that oone about the alligators!

Well, it was the onion, so it should have been funny.

Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Bwahahahahahahah @ the gators,

And i LOVED that one with Spears and blow gun, hehe.....................
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hey, the Onion is cheating!
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top

And i LOVED that one with Spears and blow gun, hehe.....................

That one is my favorite as well.

Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top

Hey, the Onion is cheating!

Yea, I thought about that.  But decided what they hay!  Throw in the ringer.