Woud you do it?

Cheat, if you could get away with it?

Let me preface this writing by saying I don't agree with anyone who cheats, lie, or does anything that is wrong and against the law. I too, like Gid mentioned in his article, Link , teach my children the principles of what it is to be good and not do wrong things. I explain the why nots, and the responsibilities they have to themselves first, and to society next.


I have however lied before. Yes I have, told a white lie, and that's being honest. That does also make me a hypocrite of sorts, doesn't it? In fact, my kids have confronted me with that before when we had a discussion once. "But mommy if you teach us not to lie, how come you just did that?" Colour me embarrass! Of course this is the part where I had to sit them down and explain why mommy did that. There are times in your life when you're going to have to tell a little white lie, as it's called. [I guess it's called that so as to make it not look too bad eh?] You lie to your husband, wife or boyfriend so as not to upset him or get into an argument; you lie to your boss about being sick; you lie to the person asking for a loan because you know his/her history or you just don’t want to be bothered; you lie to the cop about why you were driving so fast.


I did it (lied) but that doesn't mean I'm going to go around and steal and do things that I'm not supposed to do. I want them to have the fundamentals of being good and doing well. However, there are times when you have to say something that is not true so as not to hurt someone's feelings or for some other reason that justifies why you did it. I know it's contradictory to what they've been taught, but in a case by case basis, yes, be as honest as you can, go by your instincts and never, ever do anything that will get you in trouble with the law or let you look bad in someone else’s eye.

If they tell me a lie, I discipline them accordingly and that (lying) rarely happens. I've always said I'm so proud of them because they have a conscience.


You have to give your children these basics of living, because if they don't learn from you then they will learn from others you don't want them to learn from. If you can't be honest with your children when you're teaching them the rules of life and living then what sense does it make? We are all after all only humans. Being human doesn't excuse some of the things we do; however, we will make mistakes. Owning up to the mistake and saying you're sorry is always a step in the right direction.


While some things cannot be excused, because of the lewd and disgusting action or the criminality of it, there are some people that do deserve a second chance.

And while I’m not condoning what this young lady did in plagiarizing someone’s work, she does deserve to at least complete her education. The school can suspend her, and whatever else they want to do, short of having her shot, which seems might please some people. That could be my kid, or any of your child or relative. She did a stupid thing and should be reprimanded severely, but she should not be exiled.

If anyone were to tell me that they've never lied before then they are doing that very thing now.


Someone else mentioned in their response to Gid's blog (KFC) that she probably was doing that before, plagiarizing, and I responded that they were probably correct in that assumption. If that's the case, she's done because she's never gotten caught. Now she has and it's time for her to learn a lesson in why she shouldn't do that. The thing is, if she was doing that before, and that's not proven yet, she obviously did it because she could get a way with it. Therein lies her downfall. This will be a lesson well-learnt for her I hope.



I've confessed that I've lied before, but would I cheat? My answer is no I wouldn't. Because my concience would bother me too much and I couldn't live with myself. If I had to tell a white lie for a very good reason would I do it? Yes I would. As long as it 's not hurting someone else or covering up a crime. There are some things that are acceptable and some that aren't. And if me admitting to this makes me a hypocrite in some people's eyes, then so be it. I can at least live with myself and my concience.


If you could tell a white lie or cheat and get away with it, would you do it?

3,775 views 26 replies
Reply #1 Top
change title WOUD NOT A WORD WOULD IS.. heh heh heh.


Nope I spent much of my life taking "um short cuts" now I do not, never ever. If I find something not mine I turn it in to police, If a cashier gives me to much change< I give it back.

Honesty for ME is my way of life now. period.


Reply #2 Top

I have never lied!  Would I lie?

But my parents were like Gideon (and I hope me).  I was taught you do not cheat, and indeed other than the game Lie, Cheat and Steal (a game of politics that women seemed to always win - but that is just anecdotal) , I have not.

Except once.  In French Class.  Did I need to?  No, but some of us were bored as the teacher was boring and slow, and not very good.  So a group of us did it not because we needed to, but just to add some spice to the class.  It failed at that as well.

I remember catching my oldest son in a lie once.  The disappointment on my face was so apparent, that he suffered more from that than the punishment.  I never caught him in another.  I dont think he ever tried to lie to me again.  At least not by commission.

There is also the lie of omission.  Just dont tell the whole truth.  And I am guilty of that.

Reply #3 Top
Honesty for ME is my way of life now. period.


Amen!


I do that too, plus I woudn't want the poor cashier to get in trouble!
Reply #4 Top
There is also the lie of omission. Just dont tell the whole truth. And I am guilty of that.


Uhuh, that too! It's still the same.
Reply #5 Top
forever,

Harvard is not the only institution of higher learning. If Harvard expels her, it hasn't kept her from obtaining an education at any other university in the world. Sure, there will be questions, and sure she will be scrutinized, but deservedly so.

I warned my children heavily against plagiarism every time I have given them a project. To no surprise, I did catch my oldest plagiarizing an assigmnment regardless. Her consequences were that she failed the assignment and had to do another assignment to replace it, she had to write a 5 page report on plagiarism, and she was grounded until both projects were complete. We haven't had a problem since.

Plagiarism SHOULD be treated with a heavy hand, forever. When you work in words, your entire credibility is tied to the words you produce. If you steal those words, you have no credibility. You have lost all that you have.

I try to live with integrity and teach my children to live with integrity. At the end of the day, that's all I have.

I will sum up my feelings on that with the definition of "honor" used in the movie "Rob Roy": It's what no man can give you, and none can take away.
Reply #6 Top
If you could tell a white lie or cheat and get away with it, would you do it?


ha! How many times? A guy that was going to prison for multiple burglaries and thefts, that he confessed to after being caught in the act of ONE theft, asked me: "If it had been you, and you had been caught red handed, would you have just taken your due and gotten probation or would you have confessed to EVERYTHING and taken the ten calendar years in prison for it like I've done?"

My answer: I told him that was an honorable thing he done, but me? I'd have kept my mouth SHUT and just took the probation and gone my way. No, I don't believe in cheating or lying for some kind of gain or false prestige, but if it's gonna save my sorry ass I'm gonna do it! In this case I was talking about it wouldn't have really been lying per se- I would have just excersized MY RIGHT to remain silent as I was told I had the RIGHT to when I got arrested. Anyway, right or wrong, that's the way I see it...

good article...
Reply #7 Top
I'm willing to tell a small lie like "Sure, that outfit looks great on you", or "No, you don't look fat in that". Something to spare someone's feelings, sure. In the exercise "If you knew where a Jewish family were hiding and the Nazis asked...", yes I would surely lie and say I didn't know.

Would I lie for my personal gain or to squirm out of a mistake? No. Even if the lie didn't harm anyone else, it would harm myself, my personal integrity.

As for cheating, same thing. It does harm to yourself even if no-one else.
Reply #8 Top
Oh yeah...

ha! How many times? A guy that was going to prison for multiple burglaries and thefts, that he confessed to after being caught in the act of ONE theft, asked me: "If it had been you, and you had been caught red handed, would you have just taken your due and gotten probation or would you have confessed to EVERYTHING and taken the ten calendar years in prison for it like I've done?"


of course it's a moot point as I wouldn't be doing the thefts and burglaries in the first place...
Reply #9 Top
Harvard is not the only institution of higher learning. If Harvard expels her, it hasn't kept her from obtaining an education at any other university in the world. Sure, there will be questions, and sure she will be scrutinized, but deservedly so.


Yes, I'm sure she can and will if it comes to that. And I'm not saying they shouldn't dole out a fitting discipline, they should. I have not said she shouldn't be punished. But they shouldn't stop her from completing her education if she wishes to do it there. If they do that to her, expel her, then they should do that to their professors as well, not just the student.

Anyone who does that, plagiarizes SHOULD BE DISCIPLINED because it's stealing, and accept the pushment that goes with that.




I warned my children heavily against plagiarism every time I have given them a project. To no surprise, I did catch my oldest plagiarizing an assigmnment regardless. Her consequences were that she failed the assignment and had to do another assignment to replace it, she had to write a 5 page report on plagiarism, and she was grounded until both projects were complete. We haven't had a problem since.


Yes, I remember that!


Plagiarism SHOULD be treated with a heavy hand, forever. When you work in words, your entire credibility is tied to the words you produce. If you steal those words, you have no credibility. You have lost all that you have.


I don't disagree with this at all. Remember I said she should receive whatever discipline that's coming to her. If expelling her is what they feel they should do, then so be it. However, is that to make them look good and everyone else feel better? Or will that really do anything for her? She's received the apt punishment, loss of the book deal, having to return the money, loss of honesty and good name from her peers and her teachers. Heck, she probably will want to go after all that! Past work to be revisted to make sure there wasn't any plagiarism. She will be under scrutiny for along time, even when she's not in the news.





try to live with integrity and teach my children to live with integrity. At the end of the day, that's all I have.I will sum up my feelings on that with the definition of "honor" used in the movie "Rob Roy": It's what no man can give you, and none can take away.


Yes, as do I. We do believe in the same principles I think.

No, I don't believe in cheating or lying for some kind of gain or false prestige, but if it's gonna save my sorry ass I'm gonna do it! In this case I was talking about it wouldn't have really been lying per se- I would have just excersized MY RIGHT to remain silent as I was told I had the RIGHT to when I got arrested. Anyway, right or wrong, that's the way I see it...


Exactly Joe, and that's being honest with yourself! At one point or another if it comes to that, anyone would do it, to save themselves.


good article...


Thx!


Note: JU is acting up today .
Reply #10 Top
Exactly Joe, and that's being honest with yourself! At one point or another if it comes to that, anyone would do it, to save themselves.


I guess what I was trying to say (if I were gifted with eloquence!) is that pobody's nerfect!Being honest in the first place is the best policy whereas lying becomes unneccesary. I learned a long time ago that it was far easier to just STUDY for a test than try to CHEAT on one.

But ~ahmem~ sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do...
Reply #11 Top

I have lied..not just little white lies, big fat whoppers.  I felt the need to lie when I was younger to make my life either more normal...or more exciting.  All done because I didn't feel my regular life added up to much I guess.  When I was with normal kids, I lied down my life to be normal too...when with wild kids, I lied up my life to be the wildest.

Thank goodness I outgrew it.  I try not to even tell white lies now.  Though I am not always successful.  It has caused some SERIOUS problems and often I am accused of having "no tact."  If I have something negative to say I just try to stay away, and if I feel the need to lie, I try to change the subject.  But sometimes there is no escaping it.....perhaps that's my personal flaw.  But I can't tell my aunt who is dying of cancer that she looks horrible when she asks.  I won't do it.  She does physically look bad, but I won't ever tell her.  I don't care if it makes me a liar.  It's better than hurting someone I love.

I've certainly cheated.....I can't play Monopoly without cheating....and several other games!  I'm too much of a chicken to cheat on my taxes, but I don't file them so its not technically something I could do.

When I was at University, and it wasn't Harvard, cheating meant immediate expulsion.  Period.  No second chances and no coming back.  You had to find another school.

So if you cheat, you better be ready to pay the piper.  Or in my case the loser of all board games god...because even cheating I can't win!

Reply #12 Top
It amazes me that people think they can get away with plagiarism in the internet age. I mean it is so easily found out. Type any random line from a book, song lyric, magazine article and it will come up on google. We just had a newspaper reporter who resigned because he literally copied word for word from a magazine. I mean if you are stuck and can't think of anything get inspiration from other media but copying word for word?!? Are these people stupid or do they just not think they will get caught?

As far as myself personally, I try to be an honest person but I have missed the mark many times. When I was a kid, I would lie to get out of trouble with my mom. She was so harsh that it seemed like at least I had a chance if I could lie my way out of it.
Reply #13 Top
the first week of April I went to Wal-Mart and got my usual junk, the book I'd picked up on birding didn't get rung up for some reason.
I called the store manager and let him know I'd be in within the next 3 weeks and pay for it then.
I met him in person and he was so grateful, come on, that was only the right thing to do...
I've returned money from the bank teller when she's given me too much...

BUT....
I've lied to protect my tush in regards to personal matters of the heart...

granted I was only 20 years old, still........... I knew better than to lie....

I got to the point where I enjoyed coming up with excuses to leave the house, enjoyed lying to him....because he was hurting me.

Later all was resolved, worked through, now it's just a case of telling the white lie like " oh sure I like that outfit on you, what color is the other one? maybe the other one is more your style.." It try to get the point across without crushing toes...

Cheating on tests? NOPE!

Now if I find money in a paper sack, in the park, ???? I don't know what I'd do....
Reply #14 Top
Now if I find money in a paper sack, in the park, ???? I don't know what I'd do....


and the plot thickens...
Reply #15 Top
If, if if , we are talking what you would do today, not what you and I have done.
Reply #16 Top
I think is inherent in human kind that we lie. Little kids will lie to save themselves from getting into trouble. It isn't learned, its natural and part of our higher survival instincts, I think. Mind you, lying is never going to solve any problems, make you richer, smarter or more attractive. Lying only leads to more deceit and so on.

I've lied. Lots of times. Anyone who says they haven't lied in their life is either a saint or, well, do I need to it? White lies are the only ones I am guilty of these days but that is because I would rather stretch the truth than hurt someone's feelings. As for cheating, well I love learning new things. Cheating would be the exact opposite of this, so it has never occured to me (maybe with the exception of high school calculus exams but that was a loooooong time ago).
Reply #17 Top
My parents taught me right from wrong. They told me what they expected of me, and they realised that every situation would take my own judgement to deal with. So they taught me to judge things, and to deal with situations at face value. Personally, if a white lie was needed, and it was to save someones feelings, or for the greater good, then I would have no problem doing that. Though I probably would have to have an element of truth in there still, but just make it sound a little better! As for the cheating. No chance. Even if I did cheat, I would have to live with it, and it would be something that would bother me everyday, until eventually I came clean. It just wouldn't be worth it. Writing is something I adore greatly, and I am sure there are millions of people out there who write much better than me, but the one thing better than greatness, is remaining true to myself. If I can't be me when I write, what's the point? People can tell when you write with passion, and to me that beats the rest of it. People just need faith in themselves. The rest will come naturally
Reply #18 Top
guess what I was trying to say (if I were gifted with eloquence!) is that pobody's nerfect!Being honest in the first place is the best policy whereas lying becomes unneccesary. I learned a long time ago that it was far easier to just STUDY for a test than try to CHEAT on one.


Oh you said it Joe. Not in as many words but we heard ya! I agree with you on every point! I've never cheated on a test, even as a child going to school. I was one of those kids who loved to learn (and still do) so studying was a part of my natural existence while attending school. I was naturally talented when it came to most subjects and did well so I didn't have to cheat.







I have lied..not just little white lies, big fat whoppers. I felt the need to lie when I was younger to make my life either more normal...or more exciting. All done because I didn't feel my regular life added up to much I guess. When I was with normal kids, I lied down my life to be normal too...when with wild kids, I lied up my life to be the wildest.


A lot of kids these days do this too. This is why I tell my kids that if they have to do that to impress someone then that friendship is not important.




Thank goodness I outgrew it. I try not to even tell white lies now.


This is good! Some people don't outgrow it though.






When I was at University, and it wasn't Harvard, cheating meant immediate expulsion. Period. No second chances and no coming back. You had to find another school.


I do agree with the fundamentals of this policy anywhere. But they (Universities) should follow through with this course of action towards their professors as well; and most times they don't.



It amazes me that people think they can get away with plagiarism in the internet age. I mean it is so easily found out. Type any random line from a book, song lyric, magazine article and it will come up on google. We just had a newspaper reporter who resigned because he literally copied word for word from a magazine. I mean if you are stuck and can't think of anything get inspiration from other media but copying word for word?!? Are these people stupid or do they just not think they will get caught?


They are stupid and they don't think they will get caught!




When I was a kid, I would lie to get out of trouble with my mom.


Some kids do this. Most try to do it. Sometimes it depends on the mom to see through the lies.


the first week of April I went to Wal-Mart and got my usual junk, the book I'd picked up on birding didn't get rung up for some reason.I called the store manager and let him know I'd be in within the next 3 weeks and pay for it then.I met him in person and he was so grateful, come on, that was only the right thing to do...I've returned money from the bank teller when she's given me too much...


That's nice of you, and very honest! I've had my four year old walked out with stuff and I turn her right back inside to return them and explain to her why she can't do that. She picks stuff up to look at and play with while I'm shopping and somehow in the melee of checking out and gathering the troops, she had a pair of sunglasses on or it might be a toy. So I make sure to check everyone while leaving the register these days!


Now if I find money in a paper sack, in the park, ???? I don't know what I'd do....


Of course I would be tempted, but I would think of the poor person who dropped it and turn it in.




Little kids will lie to save themselves from getting into trouble. It isn't learned, its natural and part of our higher survival instincts, I think. Mind you, lying is never going to solve any problems, make you richer, smarter or more attractive. Lying only leads to more deceit and so on.


Yes, it does. That's why having fundamentals as to why you shouldn't is key. Knowing that yes, I have to stretch the truth a little so as not to hurt someone or put myself in jeopardy is different than telling an outright, boldface lie that would cause more problems later. As you said, it nevr solves the problems in the end, only creates more, however, knowing what to do and when to do it is key. That being said however, doesn't mean that I encourage anyone to go around telling lies.


My parents taught me right from wrong. They told me what they expected of me, and they realised that every situation would take my own judgement to deal with. So they taught me to judge things, and to deal with situations at face value.


And that's all they could do, this is what I'm talking about! Thx Sally for putting it so eloquently. Using your own judgement to deal with each situation that comes at you, that's key.


but the one thing better than greatness, is remaining true to myself. If I can't be me when I write, what's the point?


A very good point!


Reply #19 Top
Well I can't deny that I'm pretty good at lying. I however found out the hard way how bad lying can be. When I was in Miami and was doing really bad, financially, I kept telling everyone I was fine. Till the day all my bills caught up with me. I had no choice but to speak up or be thrown in the street making my lies even worse. I felt horrible, I let my family down.

I have always been an honest person, at times I have had to learn to shut up cause I lost to many possible friends for saying more than I should have. I meant nothing wrong but it always came out that way. I was having a hard time believing "honesty was the best policy" back then. I still have a bit of trouble with it today.

I guess I'm the poster boy for "good guys finish last" cause I've always been nice and it has gotten me nothing but bad things. So now I tend to be honest only when I feel I should be like when getting more money at a store or bank than I was suppose to. I give it back, most of the time. I have had my times when the fast food girl was rude to me and just happen to give me the wrong change and I left and didn't say anything. Paybacks a b_tch I guess. I know it's wrong, but I am so fustrated with being nice that when ever I get a chance to payback, I sometimes do. Great, now I hate myself.

I may have cheated once in school, though I was a very smart person I don't even know why I did it. But I don't like the idea of cheating to gain something. Thought it seems that for being honest I always end up losing my job or something and I feeel that now it's my turn to screw others in order to survive. I have issues don't I?

Maybe I shouldn't have posted this.
Reply #20 Top
Thx Sally for putting it so eloquently. Using your own judgement to deal with each situation that comes at you, that's key.


*blushes* you are welcome . I couldn't agree more, are parents can only prepare us for what is before us.

Charles your response made me want to give you a big hug! Stay nice, it will be worth it in the end
Reply #21 Top
Charles your response made me want to give you a big hug! Stay nice, it will be worth it in the end


This is the reason no matter how bad things get I always have hope that there is someone who understands. that's why I like this site. Thanx, I could really use a big one.
Reply #22 Top
Well I can't deny that I'm pretty good at lying. I however found out the hard way how bad lying can be. When I was in Miami and was doing really bad, financially, I kept telling everyone I was fine. Till the day all my bills caught up with me. I had no choice but to speak up or be thrown in the street making my lies even worse. I felt horrible, I let my family down.


Well, it didn't seem to be lying as it was not getting others involved in your situation. How many people who asks " How are you?" really do want to know how you are and what problems you're having etc? Not many.


have always been an honest person, at times I have had to learn to shut up cause I lost to many possible friends for saying more than I should have. I meant nothing wrong but it always came out that way. I was having a hard time believing "honesty was the best policy" back then. I still have a bit of trouble with it today. I guess I'm the poster boy for "good guys finish last" cause I've always been nice and it has gotten me nothing but bad things. So now I tend to be honest only when I feel I should be like when getting more money at a store or bank than I was suppose to. I give it back, most of the time. I have had my times when the fast food girl was rude to me and just happen to give me the wrong change and I left and didn't say anything. Paybacks a b_tch I guess. I know it's wrong, but I am so fustrated with being nice that when ever I get a chance to payback, I sometimes do. Great, now I hate myself.


Don't feel too bad. At one point or another many of us go through different things and situation that makes us what we don't like to be. However, it's from those mistakes we all grow and makes us a better person.

Thought it seems that for being honest I always end up losing my job or something and I feeel that now it's my turn to screw others in order to survive. I have issues don't I?Maybe I shouldn't have posted this.


No, I know you dont' mean that! Being a reader of your blogs Charles, I know you won't! YOu may have some issues, who doesnt? But you're learning to deal with them and that's key. You'll get your just rewards in time Charles. Keep having faith and never give up!

You're honest and I'm glad you posted it!



*blushes* you are welcome . I couldn't agree more, are parents can only prepare us for what is before us.


You're too cute Sally!

Thanx, I could really use a big one.


And here it is Charles (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( CHARLES ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))!!!
Reply #23 Top
Great thread Forever,

I had just this test last week. After paying for my groceries and putting away in the car I noticed I did not pay for the flowers that I had underneath my pocketbook in the top part of the carriage. Even tho I was rushed for time, I walked back in and went to the same cashier. She seemed a bit embarrased that she didn't notice but was grateful at the same time that I did come back.

I spent plenty of time in the lying mode when I was younger; anything to save my butt. Now I tell you the truth; I just don't tell you everything.
Reply #24 Top
Now I tell you the truth; I just don't tell you everything.


Hahaha....at least you're being honest! Nicely done!
Reply #25 Top
Yeah i have lied. But now I try to quit lying. When asked if i'm ok and that i'm not i just say it without developping but i wont say i'm ok.
When a friend is trying something on and it looks like shit, i tell her. Not with the harsh words. I just give my opinion if asked.
But i do lie to not get in trouble. Like when my Dad asks if I did send that email to that important person. I say no I was busy or I forgot when in actual fac i didnt feel like typing a two page email to anyone, heh.

As for cheating, i have cheated at school so many times, lol! Well not so many, but I have! I wont do it again because i was caught once and i learned my lesson, *ouch!*