For Po' Smedley

A tribute to cats!

from WinCustomize Forums
...whether you hate them or not!!

While a city sleeps, every night he creeps
just surveying his domain
He roams around like he owns the town
He’s the king that makes that claim

He knows every trick, doesn’t miss a lick
when it comes to keeping fat
Some city slicker, no one is quicker than…
THAT DARN CAT!

Every nook and cranny, and garbage canny
he inspects so thoroughly
When he’s on his rounds, nothing’s out of bounds
to his curiosity

He can smile and purr at a pretty her
til she don’t know where she’s at
Nose like a geiger, oh what a tiger is…
THAT DARN CAT!

He’s a sly old codger, an artful dodger
a scrounger unsurpassed
A ball of fire, a 9 live wire
Who just can’t be out-classed

Yeah, this midnight rover, he lives in clover
It’s an art he’s got down pat
Never was a greater, smooth operator than…
THAT DARN CAT!
21,021 views 40 replies
Reply #2 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Hehe! I know, but I thought these lyrics to one of my fav Disney movies might charm him into at least considering them, well, bearable?
CursorFX - Customize your Windows cursor
Reply #3 from WinCustomize Forums Top
and not offing them, according to his evil intent...
Reply #4 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Reply #5 from WinCustomize Forums Top
You think they can't read-- they'll be ready now...
Reply #6 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Black and orange stray cats sitting on a fence
Ain't got enough dough to pay the rent
I'm flat broke but I don't care
I strut right by with my tail in the air

Stray cat strut I'm a ladys' cat
A feline cassa nova hey man that's sad
Get a shoe thrown at me from a mean old man(Po!)
Get my dinner from a garbage can

Yeah, don't cross my path

I don't bother chasing mice around
I slink down the alley, looking for a fight
Howlin' to the moonlight on a hot summer night

Singin' the blues while the lady cats cry
"Wild stray cat you're a real gone guy"
I wish I could be as carefree and wild
But I got cat class, and I got cat style
Reply #7 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Reason 59 on why I hate cats...

How To Give Your Cat A Pill
1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "That’s a nice kitty." Drop pill into its mouth.
2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa.
3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat’s front paws down with left hand and back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill into its mouth with right forefinger.
4. Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (Resist impulse to get new cat.)
5. Again proceed as in 1, except when you have cat firmly cradled in bottle-feeding position, sit down on edge of chair, fold your torso over cat, bring your right hand over your left elbow, open cat’s mouth by lifting the upper jaw and pop the pill in - quickly. Since your head is down by your knees, you won’t be able to see what you’re doing. That’s just as well.
6. Leave cat hanging on drapes. Leave pill in your hair.
7. If you’re a woman, have a good cry. If you’re a man, have a good cry.
8. Now pull yourself together. Who’s the boss here anyway? Retrieve cat and pill. Assuming position 1, say sternly, "Who’s the boss here, anyway?" Open cat’s mouth, take pill and...Oooops!
9. This isn’t working, is it? Collapse and think. Aha! Those flashing claws are causing the chaos.
10. Crawl to linen closet. Drag back large beach towel. Spread towel on floor.
11. Retrieve cat from kitchen counter and pill from potted plant.
12. Spread cat on towel near one end with its head over long edge.
13. Flatten cat’s front and back legs over its stomach. (Resist impulse to flatten cat.)
14. Roll cat in towel. Work fast; time and tabbies wait for no man or woman.
15. Resume position 1. Rotate your left hand to cat’s head. Press its mouth at the jaw hinges like opening the petals of a snapdragon.
16. Drop pill into cat’s mouth and poke gently. Voila! It’s done.
17. Vacuum up loose fur (cat’s). Apply bandages to wounds (yours).
18. Take two aspirins and lie down.
19. Forget aspirin, drink glass of wine and lie down.
Reply #8 from WinCustomize Forums Top
How To Give Your Cat a Pill

1. Drop pill into cat's dish of food.

2. Forget aspirin, drink two bottles of wine and make passionate love to your spouse.
Reply #9 from WinCustomize Forums Top
See, now there is reason number 60. After struggling and not succeeding with #59, the only thing more infuriating is seeing the stupid cat eat all it's food and leave the damn pill in the dish.
Reply #10 from WinCustomize Forums Top




NOT so stupid!
Reply #11 from WinCustomize Forums Top
The Basco sheepherders around here just stuff 'em in a boot...
...headfirst when they go to fix their plumbing
Reply #12 from WinCustomize Forums Top
If you did all the steps in #7, the cat would spit the pill out first time you look away
Reply #13 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Reply #16 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Reply #17 from WinCustomize Forums Top
- Top Cat

Top Cat!
The most effectual Top Cat!
Who's intellectual close friends get to call him T.C.
Providing it's with dignity.

Top Cat!
The indisputable leader of the gang.
He's the boss, he's a pip, he's the championship.
He's the most tip top,
Top Cat.

Yes he's a chief, he's a king,
But above everything,
He's the most tip top,
Top Cat.

Top Cat!
Reply #18 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Po'...your diaries & takes on things are quite priceless....you a r e a dude!
Reply #19 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Copy cat!
Reply #20 from WinCustomize Forums Top
And for everything else, there's Mastercard.
Reply #21 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Reply #22 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Po'...your diaries & takes on things are quite priceless....you a r e a dude!

You need to get with the other people who read those JU articles...then both of you could have a party.

Reply #23 from WinCustomize Forums Top
OMG! Is that cat getting an enema?
Reply #24 from WinCustomize Forums Top
#21 = English Beer....
Reply #25 from WinCustomize Forums Top
OMG! Is that cat getting an enema?


No...
Guess again
[hint:Want a head on that?]