Something to think about

from JoeUser Forums
Yet another email forward, but they're valid questions, i believe.

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... But it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above? I DID!

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
philosophy
3,116 views 2 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Does it matter? Your already wet.
It's less about the 'how important' and more about the 'reason for killing'. Political motives are assassination, anything else is murder.
Because you have to spend an extra penny to get someone to listen to you, wheras the other your paying them for information.
What gave you the idea that you'd be wearing any clothes in heaven?
Have you tried folding circular boxes? Doesn't work nearly as well. And not all pizzas are circles.
Life, but it's cured of that now.
Because you don't realize you want wheels until you've had to carry the luggage that far.
Babies have no worries, they are fed, clothed, and surrounded by love. Even if you only slept that way for a few hours, how better could you sleep?
I guess it depends on what he has to say.
Because movies are in small boxes, wheras tv is thrown out into the wild.
Either because we're stupid, or to let out the little voyeur in all of us.
They have better things to do with their time then watch you change clothes. At least I hope they do.
Since when are undergarments (especially womens) logical? The panties being plural might have to do with pants being a pair, which I suspect has to do with two legs going into them.
The toaster was not designed to toast bread, it was designed to make charcoal. But then the marketing department got ahold of it, and we've been eating burnt bread ever since.
Jimmy wants us to care. He wants it so bad he made a song and sang it until all those around cared enough to stop him. But it was too late, the song was loose upon the world.
It could, but I don't think the dead person cares about going for a swim.
He's on a tropical island with Ginger and Mary Ann, why would he want to leave?
Because people wear the time on their wrist, few people wear a bathroom on their crotch (and would you want to share with those that do).
Pluto is smart enough to realize how good he has it as a pet dog, whereas Goofy is too goofy.
He's too focused and not thinking rationally.
Babies, obviously.
More importantly, did you start singing them to find out?
To find out if they are indeed the same tune.
It has to do with scientific terms that come from latin. Unfortunatly, it's a dead language so there is no one to give us more details.
I havn't noticed this problem, maybe it's because my breath doesn't stink.

That was fun, do you have more questions now?
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
These are the sorts of email forwards that I don't mind once in awhile. Hilarious & thought-provoking!

Here's one that I often wonder about: Why do people escape the outdoors by spending most of their lives indoors, cut windows in the walls, then cover the windows with curtains?

Thanks for sharing that funny "email."
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