What Is Your Default State?

A question...

from JoeUser Forums
In the past, I’ve been accused of being over-enthusiastic, hyperactive and various other things that indicate to me that those people don’t understand my energy and passion. Recently a close friend also said something similar. Instead of ignoring the comment, as I have done, I asked him why he thought it was a problem. He couldn’t really give me an answer other than to say he thought I could ‘pull my head in a bit’ about some of my passions. At first I was a little bit disappointed and angry but then I realised the problem was his, not mine. This got me thinking about how I’m perceived by others and why they might think less of me because of my enthusiastic nature.

I was talking to my wife about this and we were actually laughing at how other people can’t, won’t or don’t want to understand personalities that differ too much from their own. In talking, we came up with a great idea for a t-shirt:

My default setting is: happy

The way we see it, if we all had t-shirts or badges or some such that indicated our default state, then we might actually get on better with each other, or at the very least, avoid those whose default states didn’t suit ours. We came up with a fair list of potential states such as silly, horny, condescending, pissed, sleepy, crabby, angry, confused etc. My question to everyone here is: if you had a default state, what would it be?
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12,822 views 31 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top

You know, I really don't know what mine is.  I like to think I am pretty happy, laid back, chill.  But most people say to me that when they first met me they thought I was very stern.

Hmmm.  Stern.  I wouldn't have thought it, but others seem to.

Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Cranky?
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Peter, I can't see 'stern' as your default state. Maybe it is just the way you look that deceives people. A lot of people I know say when they first met me, they thought I looked constantly worried, but it was just my face.

SSG, I'm sure I'd be able to sell a bunch of t-shirts with this one on it. 'Cranky' is such a good word...
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think mine would be best described as content. I'm pretty calm and happy by default. I'm not joyously happy. That's why I would say content or maybe serene would be good.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Jill, I do like serene... It is one of my favourite words to start with and I think it would look great on a t-shirt. Thanks for the response.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top

Peter, I can't see 'stern' as your default state. Maybe it is just the way you look that deceives people.

I think you are right.  I am getting better, but I think I often have an intense look on my face, even when I don't mean to.

Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

You do not come across here as passionate - in the sense of holding strong opinions.  You come across as very laid back and easy going, and yes happy.

As for me, sad to say, but mostly I am pessimistic.  But it is the nuggets of wisdom and wit that I find at Ju that gives me hope for mankind!

Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
my default state is happy.

even if I'm upset, worried, sick, or depressed, I try not to show it, and it doesn't take much to bounce me out of a negative mood. I usually smile, even if I don't feel like it at first. Eventually, it becomes real on its own.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Dr Guy,

You do not come across here as passionate - in the sense of holding strong opinions


Ah well, I guess by passionate I meant enthusiastic. When I find something I like, I get completely into it, as I've done with JU. My political views, my religious views, the things a lot of people here get very passionate about, I usually keep to myself anyway. I'm not politically motivated in the slightest and I've written enough about my spirituality for most people to understand where I'm at. But you're right, I'm a very lucky, very happy man indeed and I have very little to complain about, so I don't.

Nicky,

I don't suppress my negative emotions but I won't allow them to take me over. I'm not prone to depression but like everyone, can have my down periods. Unlike a lot of people I know, these periods usually last at most a couple of hours. Then I snap myself out of it, usually by doing something I really enjoy, like playing guitar. Smiling is also a good way to pull yourself out of a mood. Or going for a walk in the sun. But mostly, I'm just a happy man.

Thanks for sharing.
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top

Ah well, I guess by passionate I meant enthusiastic.

Well, that I can see and agree with!  In that respect, yes, you are very passionate!

Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
Kentucky.

...oh, yeah. I guess stoic would be most accurate.
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
Light-hearted

Now where can I order my shirt?
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Baker,

Kentucky


Well said. As for 'stoic', it is a great word and, once again, would look good on a t-shirt.

Tex,

Light-hearted


It so suits you. As for when and where you can order the t-shirt, I will let you know soon. Seriously...
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think for most guys there should be a reversible shirt. It would say Horny on one side and Hungry on the other I heard a comedian once say to keep a man happy, if you see he doesn't have an erection, make him a sandwich
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
Jill,

if you see he doesn't have an erection, make him a sandwich


I like it... It is certainly one up on 'the way to a man's heart is through his stomach' and better than 'the way to a man's heart is through his ribcage'.

I had an idea that I could have the line "Today I am..." and then a velcro patch beneath it. The idea would be I'd sell the t-shirt with a number of patches so the user can change the word, depending on how they feel that day.
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top

think for most guys there should be a reversible shirt. It would say Horny on one side and Hungry on the other I heard a comedian once say to keep a man happy, if you see he doesn't have an erection, make him a sandwich

OMG!  WOW!  No wonder Brad produces such great games!

Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
I had an idea that I could have the line "Today I am..." and then a velcro patch beneath it


Velcro doesn't wash well though. How about snap on patches? Cool idea!

OMG! WOW! No wonder Brad produces such great games!


You can't see it but I'm blushing right now. Hey, I do what I can to keep my man as happy as possible. Women often don't take advantage of the fact that in general, men aren't very complicated. Keep those two needs met and your good. Wouldn't it be nice if women were that straight forward?
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
I don't know what my default setting would be. Maybe friendly. also moody. sometimes crabby. I'm such a mix. I don't have a default setting. It must be broke. I'm constantly changing.

Cute idea. You could call them mood tees. Kind of like mood rings. coolio.
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
Sleeping.
Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
Dynamaso…. Don't alter who you are, especially at the behest of those that don’t really take the time to know who you are, why you are and where you’re going!

I've went thought life over coming a great number of personal, business and outside life obstacles testing my judgment, found great success and straddled failure. All of which combined, brought a great deal of confidence. On the other hand, and more importantly, a great deal more confidence and knowledge can be found from failing vs. success, you just have to look harder for it. In either case, confidence and high self-esteem is the result of tested judgment and experience, neither shakable nor attackable, and enthusiasm helps to further knowledge. All qualities that do no harm to anyone other then those that want to pull you down to their level, haven’t you heard, misery loves company?

All to often those people foster unsubstantiated confidence, weak self-esteem, followed with poor inter-personal skills, which stand out fast. They take offense to enthusiasm, confidence, and those that are willing to stand for what they believe. They expect respect when they've done nothing in life to warrant it, jump to conclusions, followed by an assortment of assumptions based on their unsubstantiated confidence, and often throw derogatory remarks as a shield. People like that can't set the tone for self-esteem, energy or confidence, even though they try to harm it.

I could ‘pull my head in a bit’ about some of my passions.


As for "passion", it took some time for it show up in a manner that was manageable for me. For which I give thanks to catechism. Learning early on passion can easily delude, destroy or turn harmful has helped. It’s a quasi high of sorts, requiring judgment to real it in at times.
The other important part to these qualities comes into play with respect to the people you choose to associate with or surround yourself with on a daily basis. Those around me have learned where I’ve come from, what I’ve experienced, why I am demanding of myself, and come to rely and appreciate my energetic and confident nature. In addition, either they too have reached the American dream, as I have; or are still growing, improving and their doing their level best hoping to touch the American dream.

Sorry, for the added info but there was more to your article then others addressed. So in answer to your question:

My Default state… “Proud” to be what I’ve become.
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top
You're right Maso, the problem is his, not yours! You keep on being who you are!


My default state? Hmmm, it depends on the day, and sometimes perhaps the hour of the day. Like if it's morning and I just woke up, "cranky" and that's usually because I haven't had enough sleep. And if I've had a nice night of pleasure and not enough sleep, then that's "sleepy but content" no matter what time it is!LOL! (TMI, TMI!) [Too Much Information!]

I'm usually "Glad to be Alive" to face another day and "Thanking God for my Blessings"

I get in the other states too, "depressed", "worried", sometimes, mainly "Anxious" because something I care so much about its bothering me. So "Anxious" or "overly-Anxious" are probly better words to use than the first two!

AS for today I'm "TGIF!" state of mind! With a little bit of "Anxiety" mixed in because I've got to do something this weekend that I'm not looking forward to although I have to do it. {and I might be hurting someone's feelings which I don't look forward to doing}.
Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top
What a great blog...

Definitely the guys problem and not yours.

My default state would be joyous..happy...as well.
Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm pretty easy going, laid back, and friendly most of the time. In a word, I'd have to go with care free.

Ok, thats two words, so sue me.
Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top
Jill:

You're right. Snap on patches would be much better. I'll cut you in for a share of the profits

Wouldn't it be nice if women were that straight forward?


Indeed it would. It certainly would have saved me a lot of time and effort in my younger days, for sure

Stutefish:

Wooow, dude, gnarly...

Locamama:

Cute idea. You could call them mood tees.


Thanks. Mood T's are go! As for the dilemma of deciding which word to wear, how about you settle for 'Complex'. My wife said it sums up her multiple choices well.

Leauki:

Sleepy, sleeping, asleep, resting, dozing, napping etc. Why is it a lot of people would like these words over others? Hmm, sleeeeep, argrllgghaalll...

Titan19:

Appreciate your words. I've come too far in my life to let what others think or say affect me in any way. This article was an expression of a thought I had regarding the way people look at each other, rather than anything to do with my choice of friends. I know my own mind and am very happy with who and what I am. Once again, though, I do appreciate where you're coming from. Thanks for your response.

Serenity:

See, you've succinctly put into a few short sentances the confusion most of us cope with everyday. Trying to maintain an emotional state, particularly a postive one, is a challenge and a half. Again, I would counter that 'complex' would probably be the best word for you. I would have thought you'd have chosen 'serene' but then most people wouldn't get the irony of it.

Kelly:

What a great blog...


Thanks very much. It is indeed his problem but as much as I've talked to him about it, he doesn't recognise it. Sad but true.

joyous..happy...as well


Ah it is a great state to be.

Mason:

Ok, thats two words, so sue me.


Ah, we don't have to get to that. We can just hypenate it and hope no one will notice

Thanks to everyone for the input. It is interesting to see some of the words we choose to describe ourselves. I'm working on getting some designs together for these t-shirts. I will show them off here once I've done them and get some more feedback. Thanks again for all your input.