I can't believe I had to lock my door
from
JoeUser Forums
We just moved into a huge, gorgeous house. I thought it was great since our neighbors are friends of ours we knew in Germany. There's no crime here in North Dakota. There's no reason to lock our doors. We never locked our doors in Germany anyway and no one ever bothered us. No one ever stole anything. No one even knew we existed. It was great. Unlocked doors means that I don't have to fumble for the keys to gain entry.
But I did resort to locking the doors just a minute ago. See, our neighbor is extremely annoying. She does not have a sense of...what is it...manners? She'll call us and if we don't answer before the machine picks up, she'll hang up and call again..and again. If we don't answer (and she KNOWS we're here!) she'll bang on our wall. Yes. SHE BANGS ON OUR WALL. And from the first day we lived here she would gratuitously let herself in if goodness forbid we were upstairs and didn't hear her knocking on the door. At first I just thought, "How nice, she's a friendly neighbor. It's been ages since I had such an open friend."
I anticipate that she will be bugging us again today (since we didn't go to church, and she assumes it's her duty to make sure we're still breathing).
So today I locked the door.
I was even thinking of parking our car down the street somewhere so that she might think we're gone...but it's blizzarding outside and I don't want to put myself through that. After all, SHE is the one who should be suffering. Not us. As recently as two days ago I told her that she is the most annoying neighbor I've ever had. She called me waking up our entire family from a nap...then started lecturing me on my personal life...sex...religion...I was not amused. So I hung up on her and took the phone off the hook. Then she started screaming through the wall, "HANG UP THE PHONE!" Then she BANGED on the wall. Long story short, I eventually gave her a piece of my mind, what a rude neighbor she was being...then hung up on her again.
Finally. Some peace and quiet. But then my conscience was glaring at me. I knew it was immediately necessary to fix this animosity, since she is my neighbor, a fellow churchgoer, my son's babysitter, and, oh, yeah, she's my Relief Society president!! (I think I should move far away.) So about ten minutes later I called her back. Get this: she said she was glad I called her back because if I hadn't she was going to come over!!!!
How annoying.
So yes, today I locked my door. I'm in a hermit mood and I don't need her bubbly fat self banging down my door. Now if only I could take a chainsaw and separate this duplex...
But I did resort to locking the doors just a minute ago. See, our neighbor is extremely annoying. She does not have a sense of...what is it...manners? She'll call us and if we don't answer before the machine picks up, she'll hang up and call again..and again. If we don't answer (and she KNOWS we're here!) she'll bang on our wall. Yes. SHE BANGS ON OUR WALL. And from the first day we lived here she would gratuitously let herself in if goodness forbid we were upstairs and didn't hear her knocking on the door. At first I just thought, "How nice, she's a friendly neighbor. It's been ages since I had such an open friend."
I anticipate that she will be bugging us again today (since we didn't go to church, and she assumes it's her duty to make sure we're still breathing).
So today I locked the door.
I was even thinking of parking our car down the street somewhere so that she might think we're gone...but it's blizzarding outside and I don't want to put myself through that. After all, SHE is the one who should be suffering. Not us. As recently as two days ago I told her that she is the most annoying neighbor I've ever had. She called me waking up our entire family from a nap...then started lecturing me on my personal life...sex...religion...I was not amused. So I hung up on her and took the phone off the hook. Then she started screaming through the wall, "HANG UP THE PHONE!" Then she BANGED on the wall. Long story short, I eventually gave her a piece of my mind, what a rude neighbor she was being...then hung up on her again.
Finally. Some peace and quiet. But then my conscience was glaring at me. I knew it was immediately necessary to fix this animosity, since she is my neighbor, a fellow churchgoer, my son's babysitter, and, oh, yeah, she's my Relief Society president!! (I think I should move far away.) So about ten minutes later I called her back. Get this: she said she was glad I called her back because if I hadn't she was going to come over!!!!
How annoying.
So yes, today I locked my door. I'm in a hermit mood and I don't need her bubbly fat self banging down my door. Now if only I could take a chainsaw and separate this duplex...
Yeah, I've been honing my "bug off" vibes over the past several days and I think they're working. But I may have taken it a little too far when she called last night at 10pm asking me to babysit the kids of a single mom who had to go to the ER. I gave a flat, "No." I did feel kinda bad for not helping someone in need. But really, who the heck does she think I am?? A 24/7 happy helperton? Shouldn't her kids be sleeping anyway? Who needs a babysitter when they're unconscious?