LET'S TALK "SEX & THE CITY" & "GAY SEX & THE VILLAGE"
Fran Slanders: Sex Guru
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JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
FRAN SLANDERS HERE: I'M A 74 Y/O RETIRED NURSE AND THERAPIST. DON'T GET AROUND MUCH SINCE MY HUSBAND HUBERT DIED (MAY HE ROT IN HELL. NOW I GOTTA PRACTICE THIS SAFER SEX CRAP), HAD THROAT CANCER (THANK GOD I DON'T SOUND AS HOARSE AS THAT POOR BRITNEY GIRL) AND BROKE MY HIP (MY GODDAMN LANDLORD WAS TOO CHEAP TO SPRING FOR THE SALT ON THE ICY WALK THIS PAST WINTER). BUT MY OUT, LOUD AND SOMETIMES TOO PROUD GAY SON BILLY HOOKED ME UP TO HIS COMPUTER AND THE INTERNET. A WHOLE NEW FUCKING WORLD OPENED UP TO ME. SO WHY WASTE MY GOD-GIVEN TALENTS FOR ADVICE AND GOSSIP. NOW I LOVE ALL YOU BOYS AND GIRLS OUT THERE, BUT YOU SURE ARE A FUCKED UP GROUP OF PEOPLE (GIRLS, I'M MOSTLY TALKING ABOUT THE FELLAS HERE). SO WRITE TO ME AT [email protected] (MY SON BILLY DOESN'T MIND ME USING HIS EMAIL ADDRESS. AND IF SO, FUCK HIS GAY ASS! ). ADDRESS THE EMAIL "DEAR FRAN SLANDERS BITCH," JUST TO MAKE ME FEEL ALL WARM AND FUZZY. LET'S TALK ABOUT WHATEVER IS ON YOUR BEADY LITTLE BRAINS: SEX, SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES, SEX, RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS, SEX, DATING, SEX. OH, DID I MENTION SEX? SURE, WE CAN TALK A BOUT FUCKING, SUCKING, RIMMING, SAFER SEX, SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES (A BIG OLE FAVORITE OF MINE), POSITIONS, ANAL. BUT BE FOREWARNED, I SHOOT FROM THE HIPS AND MY PUSSY LIPS. I WON'T SUGAR COAT TO MAKE THE GOD-AWFUL TRUTH GO DOWN BETTER (OKAY, SOMETIMES I MIGHT). BUT IT'S ALWAYS WITH LOVE AND HUMOR CHILDREN. SO WRITE TO OLE FRAN. AND REMEMBER BOYS & GIRLS TO ALWAYS, ALWAYS USE A LATEX CONDOM WITH WATER-BASED LUBE FOR THAT FRONT-DOOR AND BACK-DOOR FUN. BUT ME, I'M T AKING MY CHANCES WITH THE ORAL WITH THAT HOT LITTLE BODEGA BOY CARLOS (NOT LETTING HIM CUM IN MY MOUTH. THIS GRRRRL AIN'T THAT CRAZY). LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU 'ALL. SO UNTIL THEN...NIPPLES TO THE WIND! FRAN SLANDERS