Why Flame Wars Get Started

Because we understand less than we think we do

http://www.wired.com/news/technology/0,70179-0.html?tw=wn_index_2
from WinCustomize Forums
Wired has an article (referencing a study I can't justify paying for) that indicates that one only has a 50/50 chance of getting the tone of a messsage but most folks think they get it 90% of the time.

It's not a surprise that textual communication doesn't convey the feelings we think it would . .. but I am surprised at how high the percentage of error is.

For the record, read my posts with sarcasm.
6,631 views 29 replies
Reply #1 from WinCustomize Forums Top
I'm always perfectly clear...
Reply #2 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Try doing business with email. You will quickly learn how important tone is.
Curtains - Customize Windows with additional styles
Reply #3 from WinCustomize Forums Top
All this time I was blaming parents and schools.
Reply #4 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Bichurz . . I am tired of you always sticking your nose where it doesn't belong!

When I want you to reply ot a post, I'll address you by name! Until then butt out.

Otherwise, how are you? What's new?

{/me tries new tones. Mixes it up a little}

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Reply #5 from WinCustomize Forums Top
I'm always clear and understand everything, except for the times when I'm not and don't. At those times, I will typically pet my fish (which is a reality and not anything symbolic) and discuss with them the conceptual continuity of those who have gone before versus the inbreeding of those who could not possibly understand my point of view (just kidding).

I also have a circle of friends (which is symbolic of "group of comrades", as opposed to people standing in a circle participating in any one of a number of questionable activities) where we discuss problems associated with mis-communications, especially in the workplace. Production meetings become "Let's get on the same page" meetings (which is to say "let's find common ground {which is to say "let's agree on our plan and the interpretation of terms used}"). My job becomes one of interpretor between people who all speak the same language.

When all is said and done, there is more said than done.

...and the second biggest cause for disputes in the world or in a marriage is a lack of communication and misunderstandings of intent. This I believe.
Reply #6 from WinCustomize Forums Top
a timely article Aaron....that's why emoticons are so very helpful to add context in Forums & Articles...definitely an article for the times we are living in w regard to text messaging, e-mail, even v-mail or for that matter day to day communications eye ball to eye ball as Billy Bob mentioned
Reply #7 from WinCustomize Forums Top
This I believe.


SD, You should submit the above essay to NPR's "This I believe": http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4538138

{sarcasm}I'm sure they's air it.{/sarcasm}

I believe that today is a good day http://www.klenkefamily.net/blog/2005/04/today-is-good-day.htm

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Reply #8 from WinCustomize Forums Top
I also have a circle of friends


I thought I should point out, in every circle like that there are almost always jerks, thats why they call them "Circle Jerks" right??
Reply #9 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Ummm. . . Circle jerk must mean something different for you than where I am from.

It's a different kind of friend than what I usually hang out with; especially at workplace.

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Reply #10 from WinCustomize Forums Top
...which is why I clarified.

I also have a circle of friends (which is symbolic of "group of comrades", as opposed to people standing in a circle participating in any one of a number of questionable activities)
Reply #11 from WinCustomize Forums Top
LoL! SD, Just couldnt resist, even after your clarification (actually what prompted it)

I use the term often at work to get guys moving instead of standing around shootin the ______ especially when I need something done ASAP!...
Reply #12 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Not all flamewars are started through poor communication.

A significant proportion are the malicious intent of one person to score points at another's expense....through snide or derisive put-down/criticism.

That's how it starts....

What propagates it is the injured-party's inability to either ignore it or respond in such a way as to totally deflate/disarm the issue.

Ultimately it takes two to tangle....

Reply #13 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Ultimately it takes two to tangle....


It only takes one if they use a Mac and a PC.

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Reply #14 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Not all flamewars are started through poor communication

A significant proportion are the malicious intent of one person to score points at another's expense....through snide or derisive put-down/criticism


Well summed up Jafo....overlooked that aspect....yeah, there are those whose day isn't complete until they have rained on some poor innocent's parade & 'dissed them just for sport...there are a few bent, bitter & twisted amoungst us
Reply #15 from WinCustomize Forums Top
and the second biggest cause for disputes in the world or in a marriage is a lack of communication and misunderstandings of intent


A significant proportion are the malicious intent of one person to score points at another's expense....through snide or derisive put-down/criticism


Yes, I believe the first biggest reason is the ego of mankind.
Reply #16 from WinCustomize Forums Top
I believe the first biggest reason is the ego of mankind.


I agree-- ego & pride.

The 2nd leading cause of flame wars: Dragons exhale...
Reply #17 from WinCustomize Forums Top
The 2nd leading cause of flame wars: Dragons exhale...

*looks for mouthwash*
Reply #18 from WinCustomize Forums Top
...unless it was a sneeze

Of course only the Dragon would know the true cause on a given occasion...
Reply #19 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Comcast is pretty quick.
Reply #20 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Not quick enough...
Reply #21 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Reply #22 from WinCustomize Forums Top
I'm getting a pain in my ego...
Reply #23 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Put this in your hurt ego.




..excuse me.
Reply #24 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Dragon exhalation is the 2nd leading cause...
Reply #25 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Not all flamewars are started through poor communication.

A significant proportion are the malicious intent of one person to score points at another's expense....through snide or derisive put-down/criticism.


Nailed it there in one, Jafo! Quite often a viscious minded person will lash out at another purely for the sport of it. However, poor communication skills frequently play a part in the whole shamozzle.....and not necessarily from the viewpoint of the author. We can all read the same book and see different twists and turns to draw individual/varying conclusions.....and the same applies to forum threads, emails and the like.
It's like some people read into things what they want to see, despite the use of emoticons to indicate humour, peace, friendship and etc, so if they happen to be in a shitty frame of mind, they're going to respond negatively, regardless of the authors' intent...be it harmless, positive, constructive or otherwise.

Sadly, there are those who lack the ability to engage in useful, positive debate: sometimes it may be due to a huge chip on their shoulder; in other cases it may be a huge inferiority complex that causes them to retaliate when unnecessary, and thus a flame war erupts due to their inability to communicate on the same level.
However, this is a personality disorder rather than an evil character flaw, and in such instances, we need to know/understand the difference.

In the absence of emotion/body language, the written and spoken word (ie, over the phone) can so easily be misunderstood/misinterpreted, so yeah, it pays to be as clear and as honest as possible when conveying ones thoughts/ideas in text, over the internet, phone, etc.

I've often been called 'long winded' when I write, but then, I'd rather use the written word to its fullest to elaborate upon my thoughts and feelings than to appear to be impatient, abrupt or rude through minimalising and condensing it down to include nothing of who I really am.
Okay, so that may attract flamers and derogatory criticism, but I've grown a pretty tough hide over my years of writings and I'm not ashamed of who or what I am.

Hi, my name is starkers and I'm a writeaholic......