The scam that is Feb 14th, senior edition

-or- bitter old man?

from JoeUser Forums
Perhaps I am just a bitter old man.

Valentine's day is coming and all I can say is: Who cares?

When I was a kid, Valentine's didn't mean that much. Sure, take some cards, some candy. Big whoop. As a teenager, I never had a serious girlfriend at that time of year, and so, more than anything, it was Single's Awareness day. Yeah, that's loads of fun.

But now it should be different, right? After all, I have a wonderful wife, whom I love dearly. We have a pretty great relationship, so this should be something special. But it just isn't, at least for me. I turn on the television, radio or open the paper and I am accosted by marketing that asserts that I am a lousy lover if I don't shower my wife with jewelry, confections, cuddly creations, and sappy expressions of my undying affection.

It all seems to cheapen the whole concept of love.

I'm not saying I shouldn't pamper my wife. I try to, as often as I can. But what means more, the yearly extravagant expressions? Or the daily humble ones? Those daily, regular expressions are the ones that really mean the most. Getting up with the kids so my wife can sleep in a bit more. Making dinner and doing the dishes to give her a break, telling her daily how much I love her, how beautiful she is.

Those are some of the real building blocks of love, in my opinion. Not some arbitrary day on which the stores tell me I should lavish my sweetheart with various and sundry gifts.

Will I still end up getting suckered into it? You bet. She's well worth it.

Doesn't mean I like the idea. Scam artists, all of them.



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Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Wow, she's lucky BlueDev!
doing dishes??? and cooking? that's great and watching children so she can get some needed rest and sleep is such a
a demonstration of your love.

I think part of the problem with commercialism is that women end up asking each other "what did he get you"? or "look what
he got for me!' and that feeds the monster.......

and as a woman, I know how much we're fed the "fairy-tale" stories, right into adulthood, and so we feel that need to
have "him" bestowing gifts upon us.

When push comes to shove, a true love will know they're loved by another's actions, not gifts. You sure pass on this!
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Well said. I like it better when Ryan brings home flowers just cause he was thinking about me...not because he "has" to because it's a holiday.

Nonetheless...I got him a card. I feel bad...we haven't been able to do much lately...no CHristmas for us and no Valentine's either. Blah.
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
My wife and I both object to the commercialisation of love and relationships, which is pretty much the reason behind Valentine's Day these days. Like you, my wife and I share a lot together, constantly tell each other how much we love each other, do little things for each other all the time, talk a lot and spend as much time as we can in each other's company. These are the things that keep a love strong, a relationship healthy and the romance alive.

If I might borrow from another season: Valentine's Day - bah humbug!
Incidentally, I think you are neither bitter nor old...
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top

Will I still end up getting suckered into it? You bet. She's well worth it.

IN the end, dont we all?

Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
As a girl, I think that the dishes etc are a BIG way to show your love. Flowers on an non-required day are fantastic too. Roses and generic diamond necklaces are okay, but it's the midnight trips to the er and the backbreaking labor that show you care.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
I definately think that it's the thoughtfulness behind the gift that counts. Anyone can buy a box of candy and a dozen roses but what means more to me are things that show he's actually paying attention to things I've been talking about wanting or needing. I would love a new pair of tennis shoes. A magazine subscription. A gift certificate to a book store. A homemade dinner would be awesome. Oh and chocolate covered strawberries always work for me.

I tried to be bigger than the holiday and say that I didn't need a gift to know that I'm loved but then as Trudy mentioned when your friends recieved diamond rings, spa days, weekends at a bed and breakfast, I am jealous. I like to think that I'm deeper than that and that the little things matter more. Honestly, I wouldn't trade with any of them for their husbands even if they do get them more expensive gifts.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Glad I am not the only one who thinks it is a bit of a scam.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top

Glad I am not the only one who thinks it is a bit of a scam.

I got a 1gb stick!

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
I understand the sentiments Peter. Valentine's day I think is more for the younger folks, especially those new at dating and relationships. Maybe they need reminding! But yes, I agree that it's a scam because only retailers get something out of it, the florists, chocolateirs and jewellery stores. But some people do enjoy it though, otherwise why would they go to so much trouble!

I guess it's the thought that counts really. But like you I prefer the daily shows of affection, those mean more.